Chase the Light
by redsandman99
Summary: In the aftermath of their destructive relationship, Dean is trying to stay moved on with Seth and Roman. Meanwhile, Bray is faced with having to try to do the same for the sake of his family. But old feelings die hard and the call of Dean won't leave him be. The sequel to The Darkness Inside.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Once upon a time I wrote a one shot that spawned into a story. And now we're here at the sequel I never expected to write. And if we've learned anything from the first go around, it's that we should all just buckle up now because this ride will surely get crazy.

* * *

"How do you feel today Dean?"

The therapy sessions started with the same damn line every single time. Dean shifted around on the couch his ass had grown so used to and tried not to be annoyed by Dr. Walsh's question. "I'm fine," he grunted. He wasn't nearly as convincing as he tried to be. His voice was low and groggy, working alongside with his disheveled appearance to show how exhausted he was. He hadn't slept more than a couple of hours the night before. After four nights of peace the nightmares were back and driving him completely mad. He couldn't figure out what had triggered them this time. Maybe it had been the weird bearded guy he and Seth had seen in the store. Or maybe the Criminal Minds episode Roman had been watching had hit a little too close to home. Or maybe all his therapy and determination to be over all the bullshit that had happened with Bray wasn't working out the way he wanted it to. In the six months since the final confrontation with Bray he had tried to throw himself into a normal existence. He and Seth were back to wrestling on Raw and Smackdown though they were off house shows so they could have more time at home to help with Roman's recovery. Roman's parents moved in down the street to help him while they were gone. Roman spent hours upon hours in physical therapy, so if Dean wasn't with Dr. Walsh he was with Roman and Seth there. Roman was determined to not only fully walk again but wrestle as well. So far though he couldn't walk without a walker and even then he could only cover very short distances. It drove him crazy and he ended up driving them crazy because his stubbornness was going to get him hurt and set him back further and he just wouldn't listen.

"Did you have nightmares again last night?" Dr. Walsh's voice cut through his thoughts. She was going for the obvious question, wanting to just probe right in and pick at his brain.

"What do you think?" He rubbed a hand over his face.

"Were they ones you've had before or new?"

"I don't know. It all fucking runs together." He shifted around, slumping further down on the couch. "Makes me miss the sleeping pills. I at least didn't like remember the bad dreams with them." He chewed on his lower lip. He had stopped taking them and any other medication he had been given because he knew all too well he was just going to get too dependent on it. He had a bad history with addiction, both from a personal standpoint and a family history one. He couldn't get trapped in that cycle again. "I just feel like an asshole. Seth and Roman got enough to worry about as it is. They don't need me fucking having nightmares all night every night again."

"Seth and Roman have told you that they understand. That they don't see you as the burden you think you are."

"I know that." Dean let his eyes wander around the room. There was nothing really interesting to look at but it was better than keeping the eye contact. "But that doesn't fucking make me feel better." He folded his arms over his chest. "Roman's all pissed off because he still can't walk right and it's making Seth and Roman fight." He cringed at the thought. "Seth and Roman don't ever fight."

"Does he ever fight with you?"

He shook his head. "He treats me with kid fucking gloves. But he just gets so frustrated and Seth is just trying to tell him to not push too hard and he bites his head off. And like, it was my ex who fucked up his life. But he just takes it out on Seth and Seth's going to fucking hate me soon."

"Why would Seth hate you?"

"Because Roman won't yell at me too."

"You think Seth's going to blame you for his and Roman's problems."

"Well yeah."

Dr. Walsh just barely stopped herself from taking a long, exasperated breath. "Have you sat down and talked to them about this?"

He shook his head.

"Are you going to?"

He shrugged. He knew she was going to say he needed to but her advice was always easier said than done. There never felt like there was a good time for it and it just felt like a trap for starting a fight. What if Seth really did blame him? The thought of hearing it scared him. And the fact that it scared him made him angry. He didn't want to think or feel like this. Yet these kinds of thoughts still popped into his head, no matter how hard he tried to fight them. Dr. Walsh tried to warn him it would still happen. It was too engrained in his brain to just stop. But how was he supposed to really get better if he couldn't make them stop? Thoughts like that made him fall into traps like he had with Bray.

The session continued on with Dean not being too cooperative in any of his responses. Once time was up he rushed out of the room, barely hearing what she said as he went. He breathed easier once he was outside and he let himself stop and close his eyes. Summer was winding down and they were fast approaching fall. Seth was already on a Halloween kick, wanting to plan ahead for their costume and follow some general theme. Roman wanted to pick his own costume and not stick to a plan and Dean wasn't interested in dressing up at all. The only thing he liked about Halloween was the candy. He hated scary movies, haunted houses, getting dressed up, the fact that it was the time of year it started to get colder...he was perfectly fine going without any of those things.

A car horn sounded and Dean opened his eyes. Seth was waiting for him and doing it rather impatiently. He had forgotten it was him picking him up today instead of Roman's mom. The two of them switched off on who stayed with Roman and who picked up Dean when Dean had his therapy sessions. It made things easier for Seth, who didn't have to feel guilty about not being there enough for one of them. Dean almost wished it was Roman's mom who was getting him today though. She took the hints to leave him alone, unlike Seth who was on his ass the moment he got into the car.

"How'd it go?"

Dean shrugged. "Like usual." He put on his seatbelt and slumped down. "I think I'm past the point of earth shattering self realizations."

"Did you tell her about the nightmares?" Seth asked as he pulled back out on to the road.

"They were mentioned."

"But did you tell her what they were?"

"She fucking knows them all Seth. It was nothing new." Dean didn't want to snap like this. He really didn't. He was just tired. He needed a nice, long, dreamless nap and the fact that he probably wouldn't get one wasn't helping anything. He hated his brain for being the fucked up mess that it was. He hated how black and dark his soul felt. Six months ago he had stood over the comatose Bray and swore he was going to let him go. But what he hadn't realized then was that Bray still had a part of him. Bray had taken him and ruined him and he couldn't just be put back together. The glue he was putting over himself didn't make his cracks disappear. They were still there, sometimes feeling like they were healed over and sometimes they were still raw and fresh and throbbing, threatening to push him over the edge. The constant battle with his emotions was tiring for him and everyone around him. "Did you go to the store yet?"

Seth gave him a look for the change of topic but didn't fight it. "No. Kevin took longer at the vet than I thought." Kevin was the little thing (he was so god damn small that Dean didn't consider him to be a real dog) Seth had brought home a couple months ago. He had gone with Naomi and Jimmy to help them pick their own pet and came home with the Yorkie. And he had just been so fucking in love with it that neither Roman or Dean could really yell at him for it. They just rolled with it, both of them agreeing that they would bring home a big dog to their liking the next chance they got. Roman wasn't on board with naming it Killer like Dean wanted but Dean didn't particularly care. Even if they gave it some other name he would still call it Killer and nobody would be able to stop him.

"Can we go?"

"You actually want to shop?"

"Someone has to stop you from buying only shitty things."

Seth rolled his eyes. "My healthier choices are not shitty."

"Uh yeah they are," Dean insisted. He wasn't about to let Seth convince him otherwise. "I want some fucking cookies and Roman does to."

"Roman likes what I pick out and you know it."

"Whatever. I'm still getting my snacks."

Seth rolled his eyes but didn't argue. They rode in silence the rest of the way, splitting up once they were actually at the store. Seth took the cart towards the health food section like always while Dean took another and began to browse around on his own. He grabbed everything and anything that caught his eye. Some of it was grabbed because he really did want it, but other stuff he snagged just because he knew Seth would bitch. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, considering the fact that he was afraid that Seth was resenting him for shit, but pushing buttons was stuff he was famous for. Before Bray had broken him, he did it all the time to whoever he was with. It was stupid and immature sure, but if it was what the old him would have done, then they would at least be somewhat happy he was doing it wouldn't they?

Nobody really bothered him as he shopped. Living down here had bred familiarity with the locals so only tourists stopped him for autographs. Being left alone was something he really enjoyed. Getting bombarded by people had always freaked him out. He appreciated his fans, but some of them got mega intense and too liberal with their hands. And he minded that a lot more now than when he did when he was younger and more consistently drunk off his ass.

He felt a pair of eyes on him as he tried to decide which kind of Oreos to get. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up but he tried to just shake it off. It was probably just a fan that was too shy for an autograph. Or one that liked to stare at his ass. Or maybe it was Seth's super death glare for even thinking about bringing Oreos in the house. But as he put a package of double stuff Oreos in his cart he saw a large, looming figure at the end of the aisle. He turned to face it fully, eyes widening in horror as he realized who it was. Erick Rowan was standing there, clad in his usual green jumpsuit and beat up lamb mask. His head was tilted to the side, eyes burning holes right through Dean. Dean just stared back, his heart hammering inside his chest. _Oh no. Oh no oh no no no no._ He quickly glanced back, expecting to see Harper or even Bray standing behind him. _Don't be Bray. Don't be Bray please..._even with knowing Bray was still in his coma he couldn't stop the plea from going through his mind. _No don't be Bray. Please god I'll do anything. Just no Bray._

There was no Bray. There was nobody actually. And when he turned back around there was no Rowan either. He blinked several times. Had he just imagined Rowan's presence? Maybe he had. But why would he imagine him of all people? If it were Bray he could think that. Bray haunted him on a regular basis, so hallucinating his presence would make sense. But Rowan? No. He wouldn't think to see Rowan. Rowan had to have been there. He whipped his head around again, looking for any Wyatts. His palms were sweaty and he had to tighten his grip on the cart to keep them from sliding. Seth. He had to find Seth. Seth would be in danger. If Rowan was around then other Wyatts had to be nearby. Maybe they were finally looking to get him for what he did to Bray. Not that it was undeserved but that wouldn't matter to them. Anyone Bray put into his family had their own set of twisted logic. And they all had been so devoted to the bastard. Dean couldn't imagine it being any different now.

"Seth!" He was running now, nearly crashing into people along the way. "Seth!" He finally just pushed the cart aside completely and sprinted to the heath food section. "SETH!"

"Dean?" Seth rounded the corner and Dean barely managed to skid to a stop. "What the hell?" Seth let go of his cart and grabbed Dean by the arms. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"IsawRowan." Dean was talking so fast it was all coming out as one long, extended word. "Hewasherehewasherehe-"

"Dean!" Seth ignored the people staring at them in favor of giving Dean a good, hard shake. "What are you talking about?"

"Sheep fucker!"

"Rowan?"

"He was here!"

"Where?"

"By the-" Dean's eyes widened as he saw the lamb mask poking around the corner. "THERE! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

Seth whirled around but he wasn't fast enough. Rowan was gone again and Seth saw absolutely nothing. "Dean..."

"He was there!" Dean stomped his foot, not being able to help the petulant whine that came from his mouth. "Seth he was right fucking there!" He wilted as Seth looked around warily. "I'm not crazy. Seth I'm not crazy Seth you gotta believe me."

"I do." It was hard to tell though whether Seth did or not though. On the one hand, the Wyatts were creepy enough to come creeping around again. But on the other, Dean was always fragile and jumpy after a bad night like he just had. It would be easy for anyone to believe that he had only imagined the whole thing. "Where's your stuff? We'll pay for everything right now."

"I don't want the fucking stuff you ass. I want to go home."

"And we're going to go home alright? But if sheep fucker thinks I'm going to let us starve to death just because he wants to play games then he's sadly fucking mistaken." Seth reclaimed his cart with one hand and grabbed Dean with his other. "Come on. Let's go."

Dean followed along, eyes darting around nervously. He didn't see Rowan again but he didn't feel any more at ease. He could still feel the eyes on him. Those cold fucking eyes that stayed on him until they were finally in the car and speeding for home.

* * *

Harper looked at the men he had brought with him to Florida. Rowan was missing but Harper suspected he would be back soon. Or at least he would be if he knew what was good for him. Tonight was too important for any of them to mess up. It had been the night they had been working to all these months. It had been the source of constant frustration for everything to get into place but now it was here and he wouldn't let anyone ruin it.

Tonight was the night they were going to retrieve Bray.

It was something they were going to do months ago. Harper had upheaved everyone at the compound once he found a safer place in Mississippi and had been working on the plan to get Bray while everyone got settled down. But before he could enact that plan, someone had made the decision to move Bray from the regular hospital to a prison one. The fact that he had tried to kill the Shield boys hadn't been forgotten so they wanted him somewhere more secure for when he woke up. That put everything Harper had planned down into the depths of hell and he had been forced to start fresh. Getting into a prison hospital was a much harder task. It meant getting people in on the inside and having them gain the trust so when the time came they could strike efficiently. It had frustrated them all but now everything had come together. Joanna, Silas and Elijah had all sent word that tonight should be the night. Another prisoner was being transferred, meaning most of the attention would be on that and off anyone else. They had ironed out the details of the plan, arranging the upcoming death of another prisoner so they could slip in under the guise of collecting that body. They would get Bray in the body bag and wheel him right on out the front door. Risky but they couldn't just leave Bray there any longer. The family needed him back. They trusted him and loved him well enough but he wasn't Bray. Bray was their true leader. He had fallen off the path with his obsession with Dean Ambrose but everyone was certain he would be right again once he woke up. They were looking at his eventual awakening as a rebirth. Harper certainly hoped that would be the case. He didn't know what they would do if Bray still wanted to pursue Dean. There was no guarantee that the obsession would be dead. There wasn't even a guarantee that Bray would wake up even but Harper didn't let himself think like that. He couldn't entertain those thoughts. Not when it was his job to hold everything together.

"You know what we have to do." His voice was quiet. He was emulating Bray without really realizing he was doing it. "He waits for us." He took a good look at every single one of them, watching them nod their heads reverently. "He wants to come home so he can rise again. We must not fail him." His eyes drifted to where Rowan was approaching. "Do you hear that Brother Erick?"

Erick nodded. His sheep mask was getting really dirty and beat up. He went through them so quickly that it was hard to keep up on new ones.

"Do I want to know where you've been?"

A shake of the head was the answer he got.

"You remember what tonight is don't you?" He pulled Erick in the rest of the way, his hand gripping the back of his neck firmly. "You know what we have to do."

Erick nodded. If the grip Luke had on him hurt he didn't let it show.

"Good." Harper knocked his head against Rowan's, his actions putting the others at ease but his eyes telling the other man that they would be talking more about this later. He had a sneaking suspicion as to where Erick had been and he didn't like it. Tormenting Ambrose was not their priority yet. He had only stressed a million times that getting revenge on the Shield boys could come later. Their first priority had been to protect the family, which they had done. And now Bray was their mission.

And after that, once Bray was home safe and sound, if Erick still wanted to skin Dean Ambrose alive then Luke was certainly not going to stop him.


	2. Chapter 2

"So did you actually see Rowan?" Roman's voice wasn't nearly as quiet as he was trying to make it. He was laid out on the couch, still shaky and sweaty from how hard he pushed himself in physical therapy. Seth sat on the floor next to him, neither one of them realizing Dean was hiding behind the doorway. They thought he was off taking a nap, which was what he had told them he was going to do. A lie on his part but he had felt it was necessary. He wanted to hear what Seth was actually going to say to Roman. He wanted to hear Roman's true response. He needed to know if they thought he was crazy or not. Of course he could be called crazy because of a number of things but not this. This had been real. Rowan had been in that store stalking him. He hadn't fucking imagined it.

"No," Seth admitted. He was flipping through a magazine they had laying around. "But that like doesn't mean anything. We're talking about the Wyatts here."

"You got but face."

"_What_?"

"It looks like you're about to say but."

"Oh jesus dude. You had me fucking confused there."

Roman chuckled. "Sorry."

Seth chuckled a little too but quickly grew more serious. "I mean he was on edge though when we were in the car. He didn't sleep last night and you know how he gets. Remember when Kevin knocked over a bunch of shit and he spent three hours hiding in the bathroom because he thought someone was breaking in? He gets terribly fucking irrational when he's had nightmares."

"But why would he see Rowan?" Roman adjusted his position on the couch. "Like if he came running and screaming that it was Bray then I could see him hallucinating that. But Rowan? Erick fucking Rowan?"

"I know." Seth let out a long sigh. "Imagining him doesn't make a lick of fucking sense."

"So he actually saw him. That's what we're agreeing on."

"Yeah. I think that's the safer bet. I'd rather believe him and be wrong than not and have a fucking disaster on our hands."

Dean folded his arms over his chest. So he was going to be believed just for the sake of being safe than sorry. That didn't set entirely well with him.

"So what the fuck do we even do?" Roman snagged up Kevin as he passed by and put him on his chest. "He's in no state for a confrontation with them and I can't protect the both of you like this."

"You act like I couldn't protect us."

"The Wyatts are fucking bigger than you Seth."

"So? I'm faster and smarter. Maybe I couldn't outdo Bray because he was an evil genius but I sure as fuck can outsmart Rowan."

"We just gotta keep Dean away from them."

"No shit. He was fucking freaked when he saw Rowan."

"This isn't what he needs right now. He don't need the setback."

"The nightmares are enough of a setback." Seth rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I don't know what to do for him. I hate saying that. You know I do. But it's like every time we get a step or two forward he then takes two or three back."

"It's going to take time."

"I know I know. It's just...he was damaged goods before Wyatt got his hands on him. We've focused so much on what Bray did but do we even talk about the other stuff that's happened to him? I mean he's had everything fucking done to him. Neglected, abused, raped multiple fucking times-like no fucking wonder we barely got him away from Bray. All his shit was business as fucking usual."

Dean didn't want to listen anymore. He moved away from his listening spot and slipped upstairs. He went into their bedroom and flopped down face first on to the bed. He was so tired but he didn't even think about trying to sleep. It was going to be useless. There was too much shit in his brain to allow any kind of peaceful slumber. Seth had been right with what he said. He had been fucked up long before Bray. Bray had just been another name to the list of people who had hurt him. Of course he wasn't just going to get better. How stupid was he to think it would ever work that way. Even if he got past the issues caused by Bray, there were the ones caused by his mother. And the boyfriends who he watched beat her up and got beat up by as well. Then there was Pete, the boyfriend who came into his room every night looking for a good time. And of course the drug dealer who had raped him against the side of the dumpster every chance he got. That was a fucking winner of a situation right there. Dr. Walsh would have a field day with it.

He rolled off the bed and left the room. He didn't know why he had bothered to go in there. He went to the guest bedroom now, locking the door behind him. They never had company stay over so it was perfect for what he had been doing with it. He went to the bed and got down on his hands and knees, pulling out a half full bottle of vodka. He had promised to stop resorting to drinking so much. And he had meant to keep that promise. He really had. But sometimes it was just too hard. Sometimes he needed the booze and this was one of those times. He twisted the cap off and took a long drink. A shudder went through him as the alcohol went down his throat. It was good though. Chugging it down fast made him feel it a lot faster and it only encouraged him to take another drink. Yes. This was good. Even if Seth or Roman caught him he could get himself too drunk to really care. And maybe he could get himself drunk enough to have a good night's sleep. That was the most important thing. The shit with Rowan, proper coping skills, the fact that he was just a useless mess-all of that could be dealt with if he could just fucking sleep.

* * *

_The warmth from the fire kissed Bray's skin sweetly. Abigail had chosen him to go into the woods with her tonight. The others had all wanted to be chosen but it was him she had picked. It was always him. She saw something in him and had taken him under her wing. He didn't quite understand what she saw or why. He didn't feel like anything special. He was just a boy from the sticks who killed his mother coming into this world and burned his father in a fiery blaze. He wasn't like her. She was the personification of beauty and strength. Those traits were even more prominent tonight. She danced by the fire, swaying to music only she could hear. Her blue dress twirled with every spin. She played near the flames, nearly touching them before pulling them back. He sat on a rock and just watched her. She wanted him to dance with her but he was too entranced by her to get up and do it. _

_"Bray." She came to him, her voice saying his name so sweetly. "Bray..." _

_He reached for her, just wanting to touch her. _

_"You have to wake up." She stayed just out of reach. "Wake up. Wake up." _

_"I am awake." He had no idea what she was talking about. _

_She shook her head. "Wake up. They need you. Wake up." _

_"Wha-" His eyes widened as she suddenly disappeared. The fire went with her and he was left with nothing but the darkness. He looked all around, not understanding where she went. "Abigail?" He got to his feet and tried to ignore the fear rising up inside of him. He didn't get scared damn it. "Abigail!" _

_She didn't come back to him. He stood there for a long time, suppressing a shudder that wanted to rip through him. The sound of snapping twigs caught his attention. He turned towards it, his eyes widening as a lamb appeared before him. It was pure white except for its eyes. The eyes were black as the night that surrounded him. It stared at him, calling him to follow. He just stared back at him. It wasn't rational to think this. It was just an animal. It couldn't want him to follow it anywhere. Yet the longer he stared at it he knew that it did. _

_"Go," Abigail's voice whispered. "You can't stay here. Just go." _

_He straightened himself up and walked to the lamb. It waited until he was nearly right on it before turning and walking deeper into the forest. It wanted him to follow it. _

_And who was he to disobey? _

* * *

Elijah was the one to let Rowan and Harper in. Joanna had stolen not only the uniforms they were wearing but the gurney they were pushing and the black body bag that laid on top of it. Silas had the car running and was waiting for them to come back out. "Lead the way," Luke ordered after they double checked to make sure the coast was clear.

Elijah nodded before doing what he was told. He wasn't a massive brute of a man like his companions. He was actually shorter than most of the women in the compound and skinnier as well. He didn't even have a beard; his lone bit of facial hair consisted of the tiniest bit of moustache. His wild brown hair had been cut as part of his undercover role. He twitched constantly as they walked. His head turned in every which way until Erick reached forward and smacked the back of it on Luke's command. They didn't need people seeing him act so nervous. He was going to give them away before they even reached Bray.

"How is he doing?" Luke kept his voice as low as possible.

"Stable they say," Elijah answered. "The swelling in his brain is gone. His vitals are strong. He just hasn't woke up."

Luke and Erick took that news in. Bray being in a stable condition was good in terms of not hurting him during the move. But if he was seemingly strong then why hadn't he woke up? What was keeping him under? These questions ran through their minds but there was no time to contemplate the answers. Instead they quickened their pace and Elijah got them to Bray's room without incident. They went inside while he stood guard at the door, twitching more noticeably again. Harper gave him a dirty look before following Erick in, the two of them making a beeline for Bray's bed. He was pale and had lost quite a bit of weight, despite the IVs pumping nourishment into his veins. His hair and beard had grown even more wild, the guards and doctors not having taken an interest in keeping up what little grooming he did. "Get his feet," Luke ordered. "I'll get his head."

Erick wordlessly complied. They unhooked him from his IVs and machines and lifted him up carefully. The placed him into the bag and zipped it up most of the way. They left the very top undone so air could get in without anyone being able to see who was inside. "Go," Luke ordered sharply. He swatted at Erick until he moved at the pace he liked. Half the battle was won. Now they just needed to get out.

* * *

_The lamb took him to a rabbit hole. It jumped down fearlessly, still begging him to follow. He did it without question, a certain sense of calm filling him. He knew what was waiting for him. He crawled until he reached the bottom, breathing in a deep sigh of relief as he found Dean sitting there. He was shirtless, his torso covered in dirt and grime and dried blood. His hair was a mess of curls and his ripped jeans were hanging low on his hips. "I knew I'd find you." He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. Of course this was why he had come down here so willingly. Dean had sent for him. He was still calling to him. Even after everything he still needed him. That wasn't changing, no matter how hard he tried to fight it._

_"Don't you always?" Dean's voice was raspier than normal. It was how he sounded when he first woke up in the morning. Bray actually liked it better. It made his moans and cries all the sweeter._

_Bray crawled to him, his eyes not leaving Dean's for a single second. Dean watched him carefully, trembling as Bray got closer. "What's the matter?" Bray grabbed him by the ankles and pulled, not stopping until Dean was flat on his back. Dean gave the slightest of struggles but the fight left him fast. "Do you think I'm going to hurt you?" Bray crawled until he completely hovered over the other man. "Why would I hurt you little lamb?" He kept one hand on the damp dirt below them and used the other to lightly trace his fingers over Dean's cheek. "You are the sweetest thing I ever did see." He took his hand away and leaned down, just barely brushing his nose against Dean's. "Are they loving you the way I still do?" His lips twitched as he felt Dean stiffen underneath him. "I don't think they are. Not if you're here with me."_

_Dean didn't offer up an argument. He just stared up at Bray, blue eyes pleading for help. He was still so lost. His poor little lamb was as lost as ever. "It's alright." Bray brushed his nose against Dean's again. "I got you now."_

_The first kiss clearly surprised Dean in it's gentleness. He stiffened, eyes wide and suspicious. Bray kissed him again, still as gentle as before. A broken whimper passed his lips and Bray smirked. Another gentle kiss got a whine and now Dean kissed him back. The moment he melted was when Bray got bolder. He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding past Dean's parted lips and claiming every inch of his mouth as his own. Dean's mouth did belong to him. Everything on him was his. They were intertwined, their fate and bodies and minds and souls and just fucking everything was meant to be. The twisted rabbit hole was theirs to share._

_"Bray..." Dean broke away from the kiss and tried to catch his breath. A choked gasp escaped him as Bray scraped his __teeth against his throat. "Fuck..." _

_Bray smirked and let his mouth travel down to his collarbone. _

_"Wait." _

_"For what?" _

_Dean propped himself up on his elbows. "Wake up." _

_Bray froze at the words. He stared at Dean in pure confusion. Why was Dean saying that to him? First Abigail and now him. __What was going on? "What?" _

_Dean grabbed his head with both hands and let out a snarl. "WAKE UP!"_

Bray opened his eyes only to find himself in pure darkness. He sucked in a harsh breath, quickly becoming aware of how small the space was around him. His arms and legs felt horribly weak. His stomach twisted tightly. Even when someone had managed to hurt him before he had never felt this weak. He struggled to lift his arms, succeeding but finding that there wasn't much space above him either. His breathing quickened and his heart started to pound. He wanted out. He needed out. He opened his mouth and a hoarse, frightful yell came out. He tried to thrash but his body was too weak. He wanted out of this prison. It was too small. He couldn't breathe in it. Another yell escaped him. The sound of voices were reaching his ears but they were too muffled for him to understand. He forced his arms up and dug his nails against the plastic that kept him contained. He had to get out. He had to get free.

And suddenly there was light. The zipper of the bag was undone and Bray's next yell died in his throat when he locked eyes with the man above him. Luke was there, his wild eyes shocked and thrilled at the same time. "What..." his voice sounded strange even to his own ears. "What..."

"Welcome back." A smile crossed Luke's face. A genuine smile, not something done for a creepy effect. "You're just in time. You're going home."

Home. Why would he be going home? Bray started to ask when it all came rushing back. His attack on the Shield boys. Shooting Roman. Attacking Seth and Dean. Dean getting the gun and shooting him. Dean had shot him. He didn't remember the bullet hitting him but it must have. How long had he been out? Where had he been hit? Where was Dean now? What had happened to the rest of his family? All these questions made his head hurt. He tried to sit up, noticing he was in a vehicle. Rowan was there with him and Luke but he had no idea who was driving. "I'm fine," he mumbled. "I'm fine just-"

"Shush." Luke and Erick both pushed him back down. "Just rest. You're going to be fine." Luke patted his cheek affectionately. "Everything's going to be just fine. Just rest."

Bray let himself lay back down. His head pounded terribly and his body felt too weak to do much relaxing. He stared up at the car's ceiling, not paying any particular attention to the conversation taking place right over him. His mind was replaying the incident at Seth and Roman's house. Dean pulling the trigger. Him inviting him to finish it. Only he hadn't. He lived and now where had his little lamb gone? Had his family stomped him and his boys out? Or did he live on, trying to pretend that his boys could make him happy?

_"Your family needs you,"_ Abigail's voice whispered. _"Don't get stuck on him."_

He knew that. He hadn't ever truly forgotten. It was just easier said than done.

_"He shot you. You don't need to be stuck on him."_

"I know," he mumbled, startling both Luke and Erick.

But love was a foolish thing. He could still feel it. The old familiar pull. The ache to have Dean in his company and the anger that came with him not being there.

The scene had changed but the almighty rabbit hole he had fallen into remained the same.


	3. Chapter 3

Seth typically woke up every morning with his legs so badly tangled in Dean's that it was hard to get free from each other. Despite the bed being quite large, they all slept completely squished together anyway. Dean was always in the middle, needing to be sandwiched between Seth and Roman to feel safe. It wasn't that Seth or Roman really minded. The only issue was that Dean liked to hit in his sleep. The two of them constantly woke up with bruises on their legs and sides. One time Roman even got busted on the jaw from an errant elbow. And maybe there was the problem of both of them getting to smell the alcohol left on Dean's breath. They pretended not to notice it. Fighting with him about the drinking was just exhausting and seemed to never go anywhere. And it wasn't every night. If it was every night then Roman would have already been saying something. But it still worried them. As far as Dean knew, they didn't know. Or he just liked pretending that they didn't. He couldn't think they were that dumb. They were a lot of things, but completely oblivious wasn't one of them.

He sighed and moved his head from the crook of Dean's neck back to his own pillow. The sun was only just starting to stream in through the windows, signaling that it was still too early for even him to be up yet. He closed his eyes and tried to fall back to sleep. Now that he had woken up though, all the noises were making it too hard to go back to sleep. Roman was snoring, Dean was mumbling shit under his breath, birds were chirping...the universe was telling him to just get the fuck up already. Reluctantly he did so, being careful to not wake the other two. He grabbed his phone and put on a pair of sweat pants before heading downstairs. Kevin jumped off the foot of the bed and followed him. The little thing stared up at him with big eyes, making him chuckle and shake his head.

"I'll feed you, don't worry."

Kevin barked in response before running off ahead. They went downstairs to the kitchen, where Seth fed him first thing. Once Kevin was eating he put on the coffee and got himself a bagel with cream cheese. Roman was the one who liked to eat a big meal first thing in the morning. Seth was a bit more health conscious but ate if Roman really insisted. Dean wouldn't touch a bit of food before noon, claiming that doing so made him sick to his stomach. Once the coffee was done (black, with no sugar or milk), Seth took it and the bagel to the living room and stretched out on the couch. He turned on the TV, putting on a rerun of Supernatural because he didn't feel like watching the news. Kevin came in a few minutes later and jumped up, settling in at his feet. They made it through almost the whole episode before his phone rang. He took a glance at it and saw that it was Jey. He frowned, not sure why he would be calling so early. He almost just ignored it. He still wasn't fully awake and didn't really feel like talking to anyone. But Jey was pretty much family at this point so he felt guilty for considering the ignoring thing. "Hello?" he tried not to sound totally dead tired or annoyed as he answered.

"You sitting down?"

"Uhhh...yeah." Seth put his plate by Kevin so the crumbs could be licked off it. "Why? What's up?"

"It's uh...you haven't watched the news or gotten online yet have you?"

"No. I just woke up man." A cold feeling rose from the pit of his stomach. "Oh god. Someone died didn't they?" It was a terrible thought. It really was. But considering how many the wrestling industry seemed to lose every year, it was an understandable thought.

"No. Nobody's dead. Not yet at least."

Seth frowned. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Bray's missing."

A long silence followed that sentence. "WHAT?" Seth finally yelled. "What the fuck do you mean he's missing?!"

"The Wyatts broke into the prison hospital and sprung him. They got video footage-"

"And nobody stopped them?" This couldn't be happening. This had to be a dream. An awful fucking dream that he would like to wake up from now.

"I guess Harper and Rowan came in disguised. And there was a prison transfer happening so like, everyone was focused on that."

"What the fuck!"

"I know. I know." Jey could practically be heard wincing. "Look man, I mean, we're pretty sure Bray's still in that coma. There wasn't any sighting of him walking out of there."

"But what if he does now though?" Seth got up and started pacing back and forth. "What if he fucking does now? What if he wakes up and wants revenge. Or what if he just wants Dean still?"

"Maybe he'll die if he's like not hooked up to machines," Jey suggested. "I mean we can hope right?"

They could, but Seth didn't really put a whole lot of stock in hoping. Not when it came to anything regarding Bray fucking Wyatt. "what am I going to tell Dean?" His heart sank even lower. They had been working so hard to get Dean in a good place and this could ruin everything. It didn't matter whether Bray was awake or not. Just knowing he was out there would jeopardize Dean's entire recovery.

"I don't know." Jey sounded apologetic. He really did. But sounding sorry wasn't going to fix anything. "You want me and Jimmy to come over? You want us to help?"

"No. I appreciate it but we gotta handle this."

"You guys don't have to do that. You don't gotta do it alone."

"This we do. He'll freak and I don't want him to feel like I brought you guys over to watch the show."

"Alright." Jey didn't sound entirely happy but he backed off. "Just call me if you need me alright?"

Seth agreed and hung up. He set the phone aside, taking a deep breath and rubbing his face slowly. Kevin came up to lick him but that couldn't even draw out the faintest of smiles. He pushed Kevin away and headed back upstairs. He heard Roman stirring as he got close to the room, shaking as the older man started to curse. He was trying to get up and use his walker as opposed to the chair. They went through the trouble of getting him a good chair and installing a stair lift into the house yet Roman just kept pushing himself harder and harder.

"Fucking god damn it..."

"Ro don't do-"

"I got it Dean."

"But your arms are fucking shaking. You're still fucking tired. Give it a rest."

"I'm not giving it a rest. I can do this."

"Shit Ro. Just let me get your pants then."

"I don't need help."

"Fuck yeah you do."

Seth walked into the room to find Roman sitting up in bed with one hand on his walker and the other trying to snag his pants away from Dean. Dean kept moving them out of reach, wanting to help despite the protests. Seth cleared his throat to get their attention. They both turned, each of them opening their mouths to pull him to their side of the argument. One look at his expression made them immediately change course.

"What happened?" Roman asked.

"Did someone die?" Dean pulled the same question Seth had asked Jey. "Oh god who died?"

Seth shook his head. "Nobody's dead." He took a deep breath, wondering if he should ease into it or just say it and get it over fast. "There's um...there's a situation though."

"What kind of situation?" Roman sat up straighter, his grey eyes narrowing. "What happened?"

He had to just say it. Beating around the bush wasn't going to get them anywhere. "The Wyatts broke into the prison hospital and took Bray back."

Seth's words were met with silence. Roman's eyes widened and he quickly looked to Dean. Dean just stared at Seth, his expression unreadable. Seth shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. The silence actually felt like a worse reaction than what he had imagined getting. "Dean?"

"Rowan was here then." Dean tossed Roman's jeans aside and stood up. He looked back and forth between them, his eyes narrowing in anger. "You thought you had to believe me just to be safe." He made a face as both Roman and Seth winced. They hadn't known he heard that. They should have known better. Dean always fucking eavesdropped. "But he was here. They were all here. They were all fucking here and now he's gone."

"We don't think he's awake though." Seth wanted to stress that. He wanted to point out some sort of bright side to all this.

"Does that really fucking matter?" Dean clenched his fists to his sides. "They got him back. They could still come back to get us." He swallowed hard, his voice wavering as he spoke again. "Or he could wake up. And then what if he...what if he comes back? What if he wants revenge?" His voice cracked and he bit his bottom lip. "What if he still wants me?"

"He won't have you?" Roman tried to make himself stand up. "You hear me? We're not going to-fuck!" He toppled over, thankfully landing on the bed instead of the floor.

"Damn it Roman..." Seth shook his head and moved to check on him. "You're going to fucking hurt yourself."

"I'm fine," Roman insisted. He tried to push Seth away as he zeroed back in on Dean. "We're not going to let him do anything to you, okay? It's going to be okay. We'll get through whatever shit comes this way."

Dean looked like he wanted to believe that. Seth could tell that much. But he couldn't manage it. Not now. Not with the panic setting in. "I...fuck." He bailed out of the room, nearly tripping over his own feet as he went.

"Go after him," Roman ordered.

Seth cringed. "You think that's a good idea?"

"Leaving him alone would be worse."

Seth couldn't argue there. He chased after Dean, catching sight of him heading for the bathroom. "Dean!" He quickened his pace. "Dean!" Dean ignored him. He ducked into the bathroom, managing to get the door shut and locked before Seth could catch up. Seth tried the knob anyway, cursing as it refused to open. "Dean!" He pounded on the door hard. "Dean!"

* * *

Dean barely even heard Seth's voice calling to him. His chest rose and fell rapidly, the air not reaching his lungs no matter how fast he took a breath. He stumbled to the sink and grabbed the cold porcelain to steady himself. His head was spinning. Wyatt was back with his family. Rowan had been there stalking him. It wasn't over. The life he had managed to duct tape together was falling apart. What if the Wyatts came for him? Or what if Bray himself walked back in? He had survived the bullet to his head. Who said he couldn't wake up from the coma? Who said that he already didn't? What if he was awake now, plotting on how to get him once more? Whispers from people backstage said the Wyatts moved. The compound in Louisiana was no longer their home base. Dean had tried not to listen to them, but now he wished he had. That meant knowing where Bray could possibly be. It could be a clue of where to send the cops to get him back. But there was nothing. No real clue was to be had anywhere. And maybe it wouldn't help even if he had one. Maybe the only hope any of them had passed them by when he hadn't managed to kill Bray with that gun.

His head spun as he struggled for breath. It felt like he was going to be sick. He tried to heave, just wanting it all out of him. But his throat closed on him and nothing came out. Tears burned his eyes. His brain was conjuring every worse case scenario that could possibly happen. Bray being awake. Bray killing Seth and Roman. Bray dragging him back and making him be his. His stomach turned and he tried to throw up again. Nothing came out. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He couldn't breathe. His eyes had watered to the point that he couldn't see. He raised his hand and blindly shot his fist forward. The glass broke and cut his skin, slicing through his panic filled haze. The pain gave him something currently real to focus on. It let him breathe, which brought out the bile that had been trying to escape. He doubled over right there in the sink, letting out everything that was still in his system from last night. He puked until his throat burned and it felt like his insides had come out of him. He took a few shaky breaths before turning on the water and rinsing it all away. Once it was gone he washed his face and brushed his teeth, his hands trembling still as he tried to catch his breath.

"Dean?" Seth's voice was quieter now. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." Dean managed to answer. He made sure the lid of the toilet was down before collapsing on it. "Just give me a minute."

"Babe you can let me in." The door knob rattled as Seth tried to open it again. "Let me help you."

"I'm fine! Just give me a minute!" It wasn't that Dean didn't want the help. He did. He wanted to just curl up and scream and sob into Seth's chest but he couldn't let himself do it. He had already fallen back into being weak and pathetic enough as it was. He had to pull it together. That was what he had sworn he would do. He wasn't going to be Bray's butt monkey. He wasn't going to be the victim. He could be strong. He had to be. Seth and Roman pulled his weight too much as it was. It was wrong to expect them to keep doing it. "I can do this," he muttered under his breath. He stood up and washed his face off again. "I can do this." He patted himself dry with the nearest towel. "I can do this." He took a look in the mirror, wincing at the sight of his disheveled self in the cracked glass. "I can do this," he repeated. "I can do this." He made a half-hearted attempt to smooth down his hair before turning for the door. "I can do this. I can do this."

He opened the door and found that he couldn't maintain eye contact with Seth. There was too much concern in the brown orbs staring at him. "You're bleeding." Seth grabbed the hand that he had punched the mirror with. "Jesus Dean."

Dean yanked his hand away. "I'm fine." He moved past Seth and started back down the hall. "It's gonna all be fine."

He didn't know whether he was trying to convince Seth or himself.

What he did know was that neither of them really believed it.


	4. Chapter 4

Home was no longer home. In the effort to keep anyone from finding them once they freed him, a new compound had been made in Mississippi. Everyone had tried to make it just like the old one but it just wasn't home. Not for Bray. It made him uneasy. His bed didn't even feel like his bed anymore. They swore it was, but it felt too foreign to tolerate. That was why he was making himself walk now. He couldn't tolerate laying down anymore. He had done more than enough of that over the past six months. His legs were weak and shaky underneath him. He was barely above a newborn deer but he refused any assistance. He just kept going, hands pushed into his pockets as he slowly strolled through the new compound.

_"It can do for now,"_ Abigail whispered to him. _"It'll keep you safe. Once things die down you can go home again."_

Home. Yes. That would be good. Go home and truly rebuild. That was what he needed to do. His brain was telling him that was for the best. Abigail was saying it. Luke had said it. Yet there was a gnawing in his stomach that wouldn't die. A wanting that he shouldn't be having. He kept replaying the dream he had before he had woken up from his coma in his head. Dean in the rabbit hole. Dean waiting for him. Dean half naked and filthy...oh he had to stop. He had to get off this track. But fuck, it felt too hard to escape. And the question was did he really want to escape? Did he want to accept defeat and let Dean go? He could in reality have someone else. Any of the men and women at the compound would gladly be his. But did he really want them? None of them had ever made him feel very fulfilled. None of them made his heart sing or his passion rise the way Dean did. There was still something about him that was hard to let go. He was the most beautiful mess. Perfection in a sea of imperfections. Why should he want to let that go?

He felt himself growing too tired and he sank down into the grass. There was a good reason to let Dean go. The last time they had met, he had ended up with a bullet in his head. In the very least, he should just be looking for revenge. But then again, revenge was what had gotten him that to begin with. It would do him no good to really seek that. It wasn't like he was in any shape to really do anything. Not yet. There was so much strength that he needed to get back.

"You should be inside."

Bray glanced back to see that Luke had found him. Not a surprise. Out of all his followers, Luke was the most capable and intuitive. That was why he had risen into being the leader in his absence. "Come sit with me."

Luke did what he was told. "They missed you," he said once he was settled. "We all did."

"It seems like you all managed."

"We did our best. They still wanted you." While Bray kept his legs tucked closer to his body, Luke stretched his out. "They need you." Luke gave him a piercing look. "I need you."

Bray took that in. Even if Luke wasn't going to just say it, he knew what this was about. He was being told to stay put. To forget chasing down Dean and go fully back to being their leader. His voice matched Abigail's and he shouldn't have had a problem listening. But something still messed with the back of his mind. "She led me to him. She said he was the one. Yet look at how that turned out." He took off his hat and tilted his head back, letting the sun hit is face. "Did the path take a turn even she couldn't foresee? Or had she just been wrong?" The question was very unsettling to ask. Abigail was his leader. Even in death she still directed him. But never had he faced a situation where she had been wrong. Even if his path with Dean had veered from course, she should have seen it coming. She always saw it coming. And now she hadn't and now he didn't know what to do.

Luke just stared at him. He had never heard Bray question Abigail before and had no idea what to do. Hell, Bray didn't even know what to do.

"Forget it," he finally said. He laid all the way back and let his hands rest on his chest. "I'm still re-gathering my head." He laced his fingers together and forced a smile. "I had too many strange dreams. Rabbit holes and all that. Have you ever been down the rabbit hole Luke?"

Harper shook his head.

"Good. Don't do it." Bray let his legs stretch out now. "You just don't fall down it. Things slither into you. Twist you up on in the inside. Infect your mind with all kinds of nasty things." He let his words linger in the air. He wondered how much they were sinking in and if Luke really knew what the rabbit hole was. "And the thing is, there's no real rabbits down there. Not that I ever found."

"What is down there?" Harper asked out of curiosity. "Is it all nasty things?"

"...Sometimes it's not. Sometimes there's a light. A warm light that makes you keep falling, even with all the nasty things you hit in between." Bray licked his lips. "Because no matter how dark and terrible the things are, the light in between makes it worth it. It can wrap you up and make you feel invincible. It can bring you joy that's almost as pure as a child's. But you don't know that you'll get it. You don't know until you hit the bottom and then it's too late. You're consumed by either one until the bottom drops out and you're falling again."

Silence followed that. There was nothing Luke could really say. They stayed there for awhile, Harper sitting and Bray just laying. Thoughts of Dean kept trying to infiltrate his mind. He tried to push them out. He had to find something else to focus on. Anything. "Where's Erick?"

"With Isabella."

"I want to see her." Bray sat up, wincing at the wave of dizziness that hit him. "Take me to her."

Luke looked pleased. He stood up, helping Bray to his feet as well. Bray insisted on walking on his own, letting how crappy he felt be a distraction to everything that was plaguing his brain. His family needed him. He needed to focus on them. He needed to focus on getting back to full strength. But the thoughts of Dean lingered on, hungry and impatient. They wouldn't stay manageable for long. He had to see him. Or hear his voice. Maybe if he did one of those two things he could get closure and get him out of his mind for good.

* * *

All eyes went to Dean the day he and Seth showed up for Raw. The news of Bray being free had spread like wildfire. Stephanie and Hunter had pulled them into their office, swearing up and down that they would add to the security to keep them safe. Dean didn't put much stock into their words. If any of the Wyatts wanted him, they would find a way around the security to get him. It wasn't a comforting reality, and it wasn't one he said out loud. Seth was already fretting over him enough as it was. He didn't need to add to it. So he kept his mouth shut, trying to focus on their upcoming match. Raw Roulette was tonight, and the spin of the wheel meant their fatal four way tag team match with the Usos, Rybaxel and the newly brought up Ascension was going to be a ladder match. He didn't feel at all ready for such a demanding match but that was the hand he had to deal with.

"We're gonna win tonight alright?" Seth had already changed into his gear. Dean had to do the same but just hadn't gotten on it yet. "We're better than them. We got this."

Dean just nodded.

"Ro says he wants to see the belts coming home."

"Is he watching?"

"Yeah. You know he is."

"Is that even good for him? It's making him go crazy."

Seth winced. "I know it is. But you know him. He's too god damn stubborn."

"He's not alone tonight is he?"

"He's with his parents. I made sure they were going to be going over. Can't leave him and Kevin to their own devices." Seth frowned as Dean absently picked at a scab on his knuckle. "Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"You gonna be alright?"

Dean made himself nod. He wanted to do this. He wanted all the stares and whispers from everyone else not to bother him. He wanted to just go out there, perform, win the belts and then go celebrate. That was so simple. But his stomach was still a giant knot of anxiety. His chest felt too tight, the oxygen being forced out of him by the nearly constant drumming of dread. Xanax had become his best friend in the past few days. It didn't seem like it was doing much, but it was keeping him functional. That was about what he was asking for anyway.

Seth didn't look convinced by Dean's answer. He ran a hand over his hair, shaking his head slowly. "We can drop out if you're not ready. They know he's out there. They'll understand you being freaked."

Dean shook his head. Fuck that. He wanted to just try to live his life like it actually was his to live. Why did that have to be so fucking hard. "It's whatever. I just fucking wish it wasn't a ladder match." He grabbed his bag and unzipped it. "I don't feel like fucking killing myself. My hip fucking hurts." He pulled his gear out but didn't quite start putting it on yet. "Like why can't it be a regular fucking match?"

"Gotta bring in ratings man. Football's starting. Office gets desperate." Seth put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed tightly. "You need anything? Want like some food or something?"

"Bottle of water would be good." He really didn't even want that, but he wanted Seth to feel useful.

"You got it." The smile Seth gave him made the request worth it. Dean watched Seth go out the door and sighed. He needed to get dressed. He slipped his shirt off and tossed it towards his bag. He grabbed the sleeveless black muscle shirt he wrestled in, but didn't put it on right away. His left hand drifted to his torso, fingers tracing over the cuts Bray had made on him. He was a fucking map of scars. There was no way he'd ever let himself wrestle shirtless again. He didn't want everyone to see. It was bad enough that they knew. But to actually let them see? No way. Never. He, Seth and Roman had to endure seeing them and that was more than he could stand.

He got himself dressed and started to pace around the room. He had to clear his head. This was not the mental space he needed to be in if he wanted to get through the match safely. Back and forth he went, trying to stretch as he went. He just had to focus. The tag belts were what they wanted. He had gotten his United States title taken from him when he, Seth and Roman had run off to Santa Fe so this was his chance to win back gold. He and Seth could really solidify the fact that they were back in business. They could make Roman proud and give him something to be happy about. Or what he would hopefully be happy about anyway. There was still the worry it would make him jealous and make him push too hard because he wanted to be the one standing tall and holding gold.

His cell phone ringing caught his attention. He froze and glanced toward his bag. Roman didn't usually call until after the shows. And even then, he tended to call Seth's phone because Dean was terrible at answering his. He walked to it and picked it up. An unfamiliar number flashed on the screen. He frowned and hesitantly answered it. "Hello?"

Silence greeted him.

"Hello?" Dean chewed on his lower lip. "Who the fuck is this?"

More silence.

"Well fuck you then." Dean went to hang up.

"I'm really glad you didn't change your number little lamb."

Dean's heart stopped. His blood ran cold. His stomach dropped somewhere below the depths of hell. "N-no..." He shook his head. This had to be a dream. He had fallen asleep. Yeah. He just fell asleep and was having a nightmare. This couldn't be real. No way.

"You know how hard it was for me to figure out how to set up this phone after I bought it? Or even just sneaking away from Luke and the others so they didn't know I was doing it? Because I must admit, I'm still feeling a little weak over here. Just a little side effect of you shooting me I suppose."

"You're not real."

"What?" Bray let out a chuckle. "I feel pretty real to me."

"I'm dreaming." Dean's free hand started pinching his arm as hard as he could. "You're not doing this. You're in the coma and aren't waking up."

"I would be if uh, you were a tad bit more effective with a gun."

Dean just pinched himself harder. He wasn't waking up. This was real. "I'm not doing this." He didn't let his voice shake. He couldn't. It was bad enough his hands were shaking now. He couldn't let it be heard either. "You can't make me do this."

"Do what?" Bray sounded genuinely confused. The man was still good with an act. "Talk? That's all I want."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm done. We're done."

"It sounds so simple when you say it."

"It is. Stay away from me."

"That's what they want too. But you're still in here." Dean couldn't see him, but he was imagining Bray was pointing to something on himself. "Calling me. You were in my dreams. You were the last thing I saw before I woke up."

"Bray please..."

"She says to move on. But what if I can't?"

"Try harder." Dean disconnected the call with that. The phone rang again almost immediately and he tried to shut it off. His hands were shaking too badly though to manage. He finally just let it drop in his bag, staring at it in horror as it kept ringing. "Please stop," he begged it. "Please please stop please stop..." He backed away from it, going back until he tripped over his own feet and hit the ground ass first. "Fuck fuck fuck!" He scooted back until he hit the wall. Tears burned behind his eyes but he tried to just wipe them away before they fell. This wasn't fair. He had been trying. He had been trying so hard to get his life somewhat back together. Yet here Bray was, trying to come back in his life just like before. Only difference was that Abigail apparently was telling him to move on. Fucking Abigail. The mysterious woman Bray based everything on. If he was no longer listening to her then...well Dean didn't know what to expect out of him. And that seemed as bad as what he knew to expect out of the son of a bitch.

"Here babe I-" Seth froze as he saw the state Dean was in. "Babe? What happened?"

Dean just shook his head and buried his face into his hands.

"Dean?" Seth walked over and knelt down at his side. "Dean talk to me."

Dean forced himself to swallow despite the huge lump in his throat. Preparing for the match was completely driven out of his mind. All the stares he was going to get just walking to the ring wouldn't even register with him now. Not with this awful confirmation. Not with just imagining what could go down next. "Bray's...Bray's awake."


	5. Chapter 5

The smell of beer and cigarette smoke assaulted Bray's nose as he shifted around on his chair. A bar was not somewhere he liked to be. But the compound didn't have cable, and this was the only place he could think of to watch what he wanted to watch. He had Rowan and Harper with him, saying they needed to survey the scene since they weren't as isolated as they had been before. Which was true. There wasn't miles and miles between them and the city. There wasn't a swamp that people didn't want to venture to. They needed to be more wary of their surroundings. But that wasn't the reason for being here tonight. His eyes kept going back to the TV, which was playing Monday Night Raw. There wasn't any sound that could be heard over all the talking and occasional shouts. That was okay though. He didn't need the sound. He just needed to be able to see the match they were relentlessly promoting. Dean and Seth vs Rybaxel vs the Ascension vs The Usos in a fatal four way ladder match for the tag team titles. Not what he had been expecting really. Dean was better than being saddled with being in a tag team with Seth. Though with Roman out of the picture still, Hunter and Stephanie had to keep The Shield together as a unit somehow.

"We're making people nervous," Harper observed.

Bray turned to him. "Don't we always?" He kept his tone light, a little smirk crossing his lips.

Harper didn't look so amused. The real reason that they were there wasn't lost on him. It probably wasn't lost on Rowan either. They just weren't saying anything about it. Not yet anyway. Bray suspected that Luke eventually would. He just hoped that he wouldn't. Neither one of them would understand. The very brief conversation he had with Dean earlier wouldn't leave his mind. He had tried to push it out. Dean didn't want to go down this path again. He had Abigail in his own ear telling him to not do it. Yet the longing was making his chest ache. Knowing he should move on and actually doing it were two different things. It didn't feel like there was anyone else for him. It didn't matter that he could easily bring anyone else into his bed. There was something that still pulled him to Dean. Something that made him wish he was still in that coma if he really did have to face moving on. That was almost a frightening thought. He had been spurned and shot and made a fool of. Yet he didn't really desire vengeance. Not fully. There was a receipt coming for the bullet to his head. He couldn't just completely forget and forgive that. But when that was said and done, he still wanted Dean back. Maybe that meant he really was crazy. But he wasn't particularly sure if he even cared.

Dean and Seth's entrance made Bray sit up straighter. They came in through the crowd, though neither looked remotely prepared for the match. It wasn't something the fans at home were going to notice. They were at least trying to put on a façade. But Bray knew them both better than most, and he could see how distracted they were. And it was because of him. His call had weighed on Dean and he had clearly told Seth about it. He wish he could have been a fly on the wall during that conversation.

"Who do we pick boys?" Bray shrugged at the looks they gave him. "What? It's a simple question."

Rowan waited until the Ascension were on the screen before pointing.

"Them? Solid choice. They're hungry. Dominant. More to prove. But this whole match caters to those Usos."

"Surprised you're not picking the rat," Harper muttered.

Bray shot him a look. "You see his eyes Luke?" He grabbed a toothpick and rolled it between his index finger and thumb. "His mind isn't in the match." He didn't bother bringing up Seth. The other man meant nothing to him. "You want to know where it is though?" He tapped his finger against his chest. "Me."

Harper stared at him for a long time before turning his attention to the match. It was a disaster from Seth and Dean's end. They made mistake after mistake, Dean more so than Seth. Seth was at least trying to actually pull it together out there. Dean was just getting the shit kicked out of him. Finally, after taking a wicked sunset flip into a powerbomb from the top of the ladder, he just rolled out of the ring and stayed down. That left Seth to take a double team move from Ascension, though the Usos actually emerged as the victors. Chaos, the opportunities to fly high...it catered to them, just like Bray had said. After the match, the camera lingered on Dean. His face was contorted in pain, but his blue eyes was still so very far away from the scene. His mind was still with him. "Let's go boys." Bray pushed himself back and stood up. The rest of Raw didn't matter. He had seen everything that he needed to see.

* * *

Seth refused to say a word after the match. He even refused to go to the trainer's, though it was obvious that he needed it. He was limping something terrible. Dean kept his distance, feeling like a complete piece of shit. They had lost before they even got out there. And it was all his fault. He let himself get totally freaked out by Bray, and Seth had to spend the whole match worried about him. His entire body hurt, his back killing him the most. Yet none of that compared to the panic that was still swirling inside of him. Bray was awake. Bray had contacted him. That meant it could all start again. He didn't think he could take it. He was trying to just get his life in order. To learn to live and see himself as a person worth the love Seth and Roman gave him. To learn to love himself, and be past the darkness that had been such a part of his life. This was the absolute last thing he needed. He didn't want Bray back. That resolve was still there. But he wasn't going to get anywhere with anything else if he had Bray's voice whispering in his ear again. The things Bray tended to say were still what he believed.

The ride back to the hotel was uncomfortably silent. They didn't even turn the radio on. Seth drove and Dean kept his head bowed, his fingers playing with the frayed edges of his jeans. Once they got to the hotel they went to their room in silence. Seth got in there first, plopping himself down on the nearest bed. Dean closed the door behind him and let his bags drop to the floor. He needed a hot shower something fierce.

"What did he say?" Seth finally chose to speak.

"I already told you." Dean didn't want to do this again. They did this before the match and it just helped to completely ruin their match. He should have just kept his mouth shut. Or better yet, he should have just ignored his phone. They could have won the match. They could have been out celebrating a title win instead of being miserable in this hotel room.

"Tell me again." Seth sat up to stare at him. "Don't shut me out. That's what he wants."

"I'm not shutting you out. There's just nothing more than what I already fucking told you." Dean gave him a hurt look. "Do you really not believe me when I say shit? Fuck. First you and Ro only believe me about Rowan to be safe instead of sorry and now this?"

Seth winced. "That's not what we meant."

"But you did! And I really did see Rowan. They were all fucking there to break Bray out. And now he's awake, and you like, are acting like I'm just going to make it easy for him to take me back." Dean walked to the counter that held the ice bucket and the coffee machine. "I know I'm pathetic, but god damn, I've fucking been trying."

"Don't call yourself that shit. I know you've been trying. I just...I just don't get it." Seth let out a long sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. "You shot him. You fucking nearly killed him. Isn't that like, a sign for him to back off? Does he really need to start this shit again?"

Dean just shrugged. He didn't want to speculate on what was going on in Bray's head. That was a can of words that was best left unopened, especially for him.

"Fucking shit man." Seth ran his hand over his pocket that had his phone in it. "I had my phone on silent. I don't even want to think of how many messages Ro sent."

Oh yeah. Roman. They still had to tell him. He was probably going nuts because of how much they sucked in their match. "Can you tell him?" He felt like an asshole or asking. "I just...I need to shower. To clear my head."

Seth nodded. "Alright. Just don't use all the hot water."

"Okay." Dean snagged the boxers he slept in out of his bag before going into the bathroom. He started stripping immediately, letting the clothes fall wherever they wanted. He got into the shower and turned the water on as hot as he could stand it. It wasn't going to help all the aches and pains, but it would at least help a little. He let out a sigh, trying to keep his brain as relaxed as possible. He didn't need to let his brain fuck him over with unwanted thoughts. He just needed to relax and recuperate. He could handle this. He just needed to keep calm.

_"I fucking hate him," Dean grumbled as he leaned back against Bray. They were back in Dean's hotel room, both of them in the shower because Bray was an ass who didn't know how to leave him alone. Seth and Roman were down the hall, taking advantage of being away from him for awhile. He had been a nightmare to be around since Sheamus had busted his nose up in the six man tag match earlier that night. "Fucking Irish lug. Who just goes around kicking people in the face. It's rude. He's fucking rude."_

_Bray chuckled. His arms were wrapped around Dean's waist while his chin rested on his shoulder. "I don't recall you being a paradigm of manners yourself little lamb."_

_"Oh fuck you and your big words." Dean gingerly reached up and gingerly touched his nose. __"First Ro and Seth mock me and now you. You all suck." He tried to pull out of Bray's grasp. "Let go. I need to rinse."_

___"I think I'm fine right here."_

___"Dude seriously."_

___"I'm plenty serious." Bray's hand slipped down, easily wrapping around Dean's cock. "This is a perfectly good spot." He started stroking the length slowly. "I think I could stay here all night." He started placing gentle kisses along Dean's neck and shoulder. "Don't you agree darlin?"_

___Dean tried to choke back his moan. "You're cheating."_

___"Cheating? Me? Never." Bray lazily brushed his thumb over the head of Dean's shaft. "I'm insulted you would say that."_

___"Well what are you going to do about it then?"_

"Oh fuck no." Dean shook that memory off as fast as he could. He did not need to start dwelling on those kinds of memories. That was a slippery slope that needed to be avoided. He grabbed the soap and furiously scrubbed it all over his body. He could still feel Bray's touch on him. He fucking had this way of just lingering on, even when he shouldn't. His touch was poison. His words were poison. Fucking everything from him was fucking poison. And it still wanted to course through Dean's veins. He was reaching out, trying to wrap his claws around him and take him for everything that he was worth. He couldn't let him do it. Dean scrubbed the soap in harder, not stopping until his red skin was completely covered in suds. He rinsed himself off next, wincing as the water hit a nasty scratch on his hip that he didn't realize he had. "Fuck." He put the soap aside and rinsed his hands before rubbing his eyes. He couldn't keep thinking about Bray. He couldn't deal with thinking about what could happen or what had already happened. "Fucking damn it." He shut off the water but didn't immediately get out. Instead he sat down, pulling his knees up to his chest. He could hear Seth still talking to Roman in the other room. He wasn't ready to go out there to fully hear that conversation. He was too tired for it. Too sore. His head was pounding and if he were any less exhausted, panic would really be surging through him over all this. It would probably hit later when he tried to sleep. It always did.

He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about that now. He just wanted to rest. Just a little rest, and then he could figure out how to deal with Bray. He could figure out how to deal with his other fucking issues. He could fucking make up his horrendous performance in that match. He could fucking make it all better if he somehow got some god damn rest.

Or at least, that's what he told himself.

* * *

Harper paced back and forth across the room. He hadn't been able to rest easy since they had returned from the bar. Nothing he had been saying to Bray seemed to be having any effect. Bray's mind and heart were still dangerously attached to Dean. He couldn't fathom the reason for it. Not only was Dean Ambrose a street rat, but he was a male, so he couldn't even be useful and procreate. Not that Ambrose ever needed to do that. Not in Harper's opinion. But if he could at least have a child, he would serve a purpose for Bray. But he couldn't, and now he was just going to tear their family apart again if they weren't careful. And Luke wasn't going to stand for it. Not after it took him so long to get Bray back. It would be over his dead body that he allowed Dean to win.

"You know what to do." He turned to Rowan, who sat on the edge of the bed. He had on his sheep mask, the eyes of it never leaving Harper for a second. "I'll keep him distracted for as long as possible. Leave now." He dug the keys to his truck out of his pocket and handed them over. "Take out all three of them if you want. But get Dean first." He grabbed Rowan's head and held it firmly. "Bray is falling back into temptation. He needs protected from himself. Can you do it?"

Rowan tried to nod, but couldn't with the grip Luke had on him. "Yes," he said instead.

"Good." Luke placed a long, hard kiss to his forehead. "Make me proud." He let Rowan go and stepped back. The other man stood up, leaving the room without another word. Harper allowed himself a small smile.

Dean Ambrose wasn't going to be a problem for much longer.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Get over here you little fucker!"_

_"No!" Dean tried to evade the man's grasp. Ricky the fucking drug dealer was trying to corner him again. The heavily tattooed asshole had never meant good news, but lately he had been even worse. At least in the past, he only kicked the shit out of him and took what little money he scrounged up during the day. Now he just liked to...well Dean just didn't want to think about it. It hurt and he always cried, which made Ricky hurt him even more. He didn't want it to happen again. He couldn't let it happen again._

_Ricky snarled and managed to grab him by the back of his jacket. Dean desperately tried to rip himself out of his grip. He didn't care if the thing tore. He could live without it. It wasn't like he hadn't ever before. But despite his best attempts, Rick still snagged him by the waist and lifted him up, easily carrying him to the alley they always ended up in. "NO!" Dean kicked his feet furiously. His heels hit Ricky's shins, but there seemed to be no lasting effect. He found himself thrown to the ground violently, his head hitting the nearby dumpster with a hard thud. His mind still screamed at him to run. His body didn't move anywhere near fast enough. Ricky was on him again, pulling him up just to shove him chest first against the dumpster. Large hands ripped at his pants violently. He tried to scream again, but he only got a dirty, oily rag shoved into his mouth for his troubles._

_"Ssssshhhh. You don't want everyone to hear do you?"_

_Dean blinked. The scene suddenly changed. He was no longer in that dirty, smelly alley. He was in his childhood bedroom with his mother's boyfriend hovering above him. Pete. Fucking Pete. His beady eyes were wild, his breath smelling like pure whiskey. His hands pulled at Dean's blankets impatiently. Dean fought to keep them over him. He couldn't do this. Not again._

_"Come on boy. You know you like it."_

_Dean shook his head. No. No he fucking didn't. His grip tightened on his blankets. He wanted to shove or kick the bastard away, but he was too afraid of letting his covers go. Even with sleeping in a t-shirt, jeans and jacket, he would feel much too exposed._

_"Don't fucking lie to me." Pete ripped at the blankets more violently. He got them off and tossed them across the room. "Fucking stay still!" He forced Dean down and palmed his groin through the thin material of his jeans. Dean whimpered and shook his head. His body wasn't about to respond the way the bastard wanted, which only made things worse. He braced himself, managing to keep his head from rocking too much as the slap came down across his face._

_"Fucking little bastard." Pete slapped him again. "Only good for one thing. Just like your fucking mother."_

_Dean whimpered and tried to push him away. Fucker never said any of that shit to his mother. He treated her like a god damn queen. And she was so happy. Sure she still did drugs and whored herself out, but during the days, she could pretend that she had an actual good set up in life. Dean wanted to tell her all the things Pete said behind her back. He wanted to tell her what he did every night and beg for her to kick him out. But he couldn't. She wouldn't believe him. She saw only what she wanted to see, which matched just what Pete wanted her to see. Bastard. Such a fucking bastard._

_Another time. Another place. A burning, ripping pain broke through his drug fueled haze. He didn't recognize the room. He didn't recognize the Puerto Rican man on top of him. Fucker was strong though. Really rough. Dean whimpered and tried to scream. Tried to push him off. Nothing happened. He was too fucked up. His arms and legs felt like they were filled with lead. He had to just close his eyes and try to force his mind to be blank. It would be over soon. It had to be over soon._

_"Look at me little lamb."_

_Dean's eyes snapped open. The pain was still there, but he wasn't in a dingy motel room with someone he didn't know. He was with Bray now. They were on the compound, on Bray's bed. His hands were pinned up above his head and he could fucking feel himself bleeding. Not that it stopped Bray. He kept going harder, smirking as Dean whined and tried to break free._

_"Such a beautiful little lamb."_

_Dean shook his head. "Stop," he begged. He tried to get himself free. "Please please stop."_

_"Why?" Bray twisted his wrists, making him yelp in pain. "You like it?"_

_Dean shook his head again._

_"Don't lie to me." His eyes went down to Dean's cock, which was hard and laying flat against Dean's stomach. "Look at you. Liking every little thing I do."_

_"N-no."_

_"Stop lying."_

_"Please stop." Dean turned his head. He couldn't look at Bray. He couldn't even stand being in his own skin. "Please please stop..."_

_But Bray didn't. Instead he just switched to holding both his wrists with one hand while the other wrapped around Dean's cock. Dean shuddered. He didn't want this to feel good. He tried to somehow move away from the touch, but Bray didn't let him go. A moan escaped him, his body betraying him by giving in yet again. He came with a whimper, dying inside as he heard the other man laugh._

Bile rose in Dean's throat as he opened his eyes. His body was drenched in a cold sweat. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his brain trying to desperately push everything he had just dreamt away. Seth and Roman were sitting up on either side of him. Their concern could be seen quite clearly even with how dark the room was.

"Was it Bray?" Roman asked.

"Part of it," Dean admitted. He put his hands over his face and ran them down slowly. The terrible performance on Raw had gotten him and Seth sent home for the rest of the week, which already had him feeling bad enough. Roman hadn't taken the news about Bray well, nearly landing himself in the hospital when he tried to put himself to not only walk without assistance but practice fighting as well. That had just made Dean feel worse. Add in the nightmares and things were just looking so very shitty. Seth had taken the lead in trying to hold them all together. He was constantly on the lookout, nearly driving himself insane because he thought every noise was a Wyatt coming to get them. Dean felt like shit for it. He didn't want them to be in this position. Yet here they were, trying to prepare themselves for the absolute worst.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Seth posed it as a question, but Dean knew they wanted him to talk. And they of course would get all worried and insulted if he didn't.

"It was just...I don't know. Just all fucking everyone in my head." Dean hated talking about this. Even knowing he was supposed to didn't make any of it easier. "It all just fucking everyone who like, ever hurt me. All in my head. One after another." He sat up, swearing that he actually felt a flash of phantom pain from the dream rapes. "I fucking don't want the shit in my head. But it just fucking all came at me." He rubbed his hands over his face. "Why the fuck can't I let it go?" He looked back and forth between Seth and Roman. "I want to. I fucking want to. But it all stays with me." He laughed bitterly. "I just can't fucking win."

Roman cringed. "It'll just take time. You've had horrible shit happen to you your whole life. You aren't just going to magically get over it. It's going to take time."  
Time. Yeah. That's what they all said. Dean knew they were right. He fucking knew it. But that didn't mean he liked it. How much fucking time was he going to need? Could he keep his own sanity long enough for that time to pass? That seemed unlikely to him.

"Come on." Seth tried to ease him down on the bed. "Just go back to sleep. We gotta see Dr. Walsh in the morning."

Dean tried to shake his head. "You can go with Roman-"

"Jimmy and Jey are going with me," Roman interrupted. "None of us are going anywhere alone." He grabbed Dean and helped Seth lay him back down. "And that's final."

Dean didn't argue. He supposed it was for the best anyway. He tried to go back to sleep but that didn't really work. He tossed and turned the rest of the night, finally just getting out of bed right before the sun rose. Kevin got up with him, practically begging to be let out. "Hold on hold on," he muttered. He stopped at the guest room first, snagging the cigarettes and lighter that he now hid alongside his booze. Roman and Seth would be able to smell it on him, but he would worry about that later. He just needed the relief the nicotine would bring him.

"Come on boy." Dean picked up Kevin and carried him down the stairs. "Let's go." He took him out the back door before setting him down. Kevin barked and began to sprint around the yard. Dean stuck one of the cigarettes in his mouth and lit it up. The first inhale calmed him just a bit. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the house. He was so fucking exhausted. So so fucking exhausted. Maybe he could cancel the appointment with Dr. Walsh and just convince Seth and Roman to let him go back to bed?They had to let him sleep. They just had to.

Kevin's shrill barking made Dean open his eyes. The little dog was right at the gate, fur on its back raised as it snarled at...Rowan. "FUCK!" The cigarette fell from Dean's lips and went down into the grass. Rowan. Rowan was at the gate. The eyes of his sheep mask were staring right down at Kevin, his hand reaching over the gate to grab the dog by the scruff of the neck.

"NO!" Dean ran forward as fast as he could. He got there just as Rowan was starting to lift Kevin up. He ripped the dog away and tried to just turn around and run for it. Rowan just grabbed his hair instead, yanking back violently. Dean dropped Kevin, his hands going up to try to make Rowan let go. "SETH!" He tried to drag his heels into the ground. "ROMAN!"

Rowan snarled and wrapped both hands around his neck. Dean found himself being lifted up and over the gate, the metal scratching his legs as he kept trying to struggle. The grip on his neck was too tight to let him scream again. Someone had to have heard him the first time. Seth or Roman or a neighbor. But they weren't coming. They weren't fucking coming. Not fast enough anyway. He kicked his legs more, heels connecting uselessly to Rowan's shins. Rowan's massive arm when around his throat now, choking him as he was dragged into the garage. His brain was flying into pure panic mode. What did he do? What could he do? He was going to fucking die if he didn't think of something.

Dean yelped as he was tossed to the floor. The lights weren't on, but fear made his eyes adjust to the darkness much faster than normal. He saw Rowan's hands clasp around the ax hanging on the wall. Why the fuck did they have an ax? Roman bought it for something. Fucking what was it? Dean couldn't think of it. It didn't matter. What mattered was the sharp blade being swung directly at his head. He screamed and rolled out of the way just in time. The ax clanged against the ground harshly. Rowan growled and tried again. Dean rolled away again. He scrambled back desperately, his balance failing him in his hurry. "SETH! ROMAN!" He didn't even know why he was screaming for Roman really. What could he do now? Nothing. Maybe he did it from instinct. Roman was the protector. Of course he still wanted him. But there would be only Seth-and that was if Seth even heard him in time.

Dean pushed himself to his feet and ran for the door. Rowan was right on his heels. The ax was already being swung again. He dived to the side, making sure the ax would be buried into the door instead. New plan. He needed a new plan. He turned and ran for the car, nearly sobbing in relief as it opened. He jumped inside and slammed the door shut, locking it behind him. Rowan was still trying to pull the ax out of the door. It wouldn't be long before he managed it. Dean had to act fast. He slammed his hand against the horn, hoping the blast would be loud enough for Seth and Roman to hear. His brain struggled to remember how to hot wire a car. He used to do it all the fucking time. He could have made a living on it if it had been a desired skill. But fucking shit, his brain was failing him now.

The ax smashed into the driver's side window, sending glass everywhere. Dean screamed and scrambled into the back. He heard the door open and tried to go faster. He had to get out. Make it out before it was too late. But Rowan's weight came on him just as he was touching the door behind the passenger's seat. "NO!" He tried to swing his hands around to nail the larger man. Rowan's knee was right in the center of his back, effectively pinning him down. A large hand grabbed his hair, turning his head to the side roughly. His eyes made contact with Rowan's. That damn sheep mask was still on, Rowan's heavy breathing quite audible inside of it. Dean dug his palms into the seat, trying to find any strength to push himself up and buck Rowan off him. Rowan didn't budge from his efforts. He only dug his knee into Dean's back even harder, not stopping until he screamed.

"SETH! RO-"

A punch to the back of the head dazed him. His vision went blurry, his brain lingering near the point of unconsciousness. He barely realized he was being flipped on to his back until Rowan's hands were around his throat. He squeezed hard, not letting Dean get the slightest bit of breath in him. Dean tried to whimper, but the sound wouldn't even come out of him. He brought his hands up to Rowan's face. It was meant to be a blow. It was supposed to be a fucking blow. But all he managed was to slightly push up the mask. This was it. This was fucking it. After all he had been through, the sheep mask wearing fucker was going to be the death of him.

_I don't want to die. _

_But it'll be so much easier... _

And suddenly Rowan was off him. As the blackness faded away, Dean caught the briefest of glimpses at Seth. Adrenaline pumped through the younger man, allowing him to pull Rowan out of the car. A struggle could be heard, but Dean had no will to sit up and watch it. He just closed his eyes and gasped for breath, consciousness slipping from him now despite being able to breathe. The blackness was welcoming. It wasn't until he felt a pair of hands on him that he woke again. He immediately screamed, his body instinctively trying to get away again.

"No no no!" Seth's voice broke through his panic. He grabbed Dean by the arms and shook his head. "It's okay. It's okay." He nodded to his own words. He's out. He's out." He took Dean by the hands and pulled him out of the car gently. "Come see. Just come see."

Dean didn't want to see. He tried to resist, but Seth wouldn't give up. He whimpered as he gave in, cringing as he saw Rowan laid out on the floor. He opened his mouth to ask if he was dead, but that state of his throat wouldn't let him talk yet.

"Unconscious." Seth didn't need him to even ask. He wrapped a protective arm around Dean. "I hit him with the ax. I tried to get him like full on, but he ducked and I had to swing from the side. Knocked him out." He placed a kiss to Dean's temple. "We might have the whole family on us though if I killed him." It was hard to tell if he was saying that for Dean's or his own benefit. "Go inside alright?" Seth placed his hands on either side of Dean's head. "Just go inside and sit with Roman. He's going crazy."

Dean just stared at him, beyond shaken at this point. His throat still too sore to speak.

"I'm gonna tie him up." Seth pointed to Rowan's unconscious form. "I don't know what we'll do after, but that can buy us some time." His grip on Dean's head tightened. "You trust me right?"

Dean nodded immediately.

"Then do what I say. I'll get this all taken care of."


	7. Chapter 7

"We should call the cops."

Seth snorted, not even bothering to look over at Roman. The older man had wheeled himself out to the garage, apparently needing to see their intruder for himself. Dean was somewhere inside, and Seth hoped he just stayed far away from them. He didn't need to be any closer to any of the Wyatts than he already had been. "What good have they done us before?"

Roman eyed the chair Seth had tied Rowan up on. "We have to call them at some point. We can't keep him tied up in here for forever."

Seth knew he was right. But that didn't mean he wanted to admit it. "We should interrogate him first. Find out if Wyatt's close."

"Interrogate him?" Roman looked at Seth like he had just lost his mind. "You really think that's going to work?"

"We have to do something." Seth ran a hand over his hair. "I just want to fucking kill him to be honest. The fucker was going to MURDER Dean."

Roman winced. "I know."

"We should just do it. Kill him and dump the body."

"And have all the Wyatts on our ass?" Roman shook his head. "Believe me, I love that plan. I do. But we're not prepared for the war if we cross that line."

Seth knew he was right about that too. It still didn't make it any better though. Waking up to Dean screaming, Kevin's frantic barking, and the fucking sight of the Rowan's hands around Dean's throat...Seth shuddered just thinking about it. He wanted to rip every single member of the Wyatt family apart. Bray had torn Dean down, rendered him helpless against not only him, but the demons that Dean had built a wall against for so long. And now when he was trying to heal, they were back to destroy any progress he had made. It wasn't fair. Dean didn't deserve this. They had to make sure he didn't go through any more shit. They just had to.

"Seth?" Roman leaned forward, his face tight with worry. "Babe?"

Seth felt something snap inside of him. He stormed over to the toolbox and nearly tore the lid off completely as he opened it. Rowan wanted to play? Fine. He could play. He grabbed the first tool he could get his hand on, which just happened to be a screwdriver. None of the things Roman said to him even registered in his brain. His mind was zeroed in on Rowan, who was still unconscious on the chair. His vision was fucking red. His body was out of his own control. His feet carried him to Rowan. The hand not holding the screwdriver struck the fucker's face so hard that the lamb mask went flying off. "Wake up!" he snarled. His hand slapped him again, fully waking Rowan.

"Seth!" Roman shook his head. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Rowan snarled and tried to fight his way out of his restraints. They held him right, giving Seth the chance to sneer and put a nice, hard, twisting grip on his beard. "Did Bray send you here?" He pulled hard, yanking so Rowan had nowhere to look but directly at him. "Did he fucking send you here to do this shit?"

Rowan just snarled again. Eyes were feral and spit flew past his lips. Teeth were barred, making for an expression that would have been at least somewhat scary if Seth hadn't been in the mood he was in.

"Fucking TALK!" Seth nearly yanked some of the bright red hair out of his ugly face. "You think this is a fucking game? You think we're fucking playing anymore?"

Rowan tried to yank his head away. He still refused to say a word. He fucking could talk. Seth knew that. He had added in enough raspy orders to run at the end of Wyatt's promos to make it known that he could fucking speak. But now he was just silent. To Seth, that just meant he was protecting Bray. And that enraged Seth even more. Without even thinking, he raised the screwdriver above his head and drove it down straight into Rowan's leg. It wasn't even one with a pointed end. The sheer force of his movements made it go through the skin and earned him the scream of pain that was more than little satisfying.

"SETH!" Roman stared at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. "JESUS CHRIST!"

Seth twisted the screwdriver in even deeper. "You think we're going to let Bray have him killed?" He shook his head to answer his own question. "You think it'll be that easy?" He gripped Rowan's face, digging his nails into his cheeks. "I won't let him hurt him again. I won't let ANY of you hurt him again."

Rowan just stared at him. No snarling, now words. And then he just laughed. The sound was so startling at first. Seth almost didn't recognize what it was supposed to be. It wasn't until a maniacal, Bray like grin crossed Rowan's face.

"Your boy is poison." The grin turned into a sneer. "The rat that leads him into the trap. We won't let him. Not again."

"You think DEAN'S the problem?" Seth couldn't believe this. He couldn't fucking believe what he was hearing. This was the most insane thing he had ever heard, and he had heard some crazy shit in his life.

"Always has been. Always will be." Rowan's eyes narrowed. "He still loves him. He's slipping away. But we won't let him. Not again."

Seth looked back at Roman. Neither one of them had even considered the fact that Bray hadn't been the one to send Rowan here. Seth wasn't even sure he really believed that he wasn't. But his bullshit detector was pretty good, and Rowan didn't seem like he was lying. None of the Wyatts did though. That was the scary thing. They truly believed the shit they said.

"We need to call the cops," Roman said firmly.

"Because they did such a bang up job of keeping Bray." Seth yanked the screwdriver out of Rowan's leg, happy to hear him scream in pain. "They let the fucker go after he attacked Dean at the hospital. They got here after he nearly killed us all that one night." He gestured the bloody screwdriver wildly at Rowan. "You think they can do better with him?"

"We can't keep him here! They'll fucking come for us if he stays here."

"They'll fucking come for us if we ship him off!" Seth looked around for something to gag Rowan with. Nothing was in sight. He was going to have to go in the house and find something. "They'll come no matter what. Maybe if we keep him we could like, use him as a bargaining tool."

Roman frowned. "A bargaining tool?"

Seth nodded. "Yeah. Like, we can tell them they can't have their boy back unless they leave Dean alone."

"That's a terrible fucking idea."

"Well your cops idea isn't any fucking better."

"Still better than your idea."

"Whatever. Rowan's our bait." Seth wanted it to be left at that. Roman however, was not taking the hint."

"He is not going to be our bait. I'm calling the fucking cops."

"And how are you going to explain how we have him?"

Roman started to wheel himself back. "You stabbed him during the struggle. We tied him up. Simple as that."

Seth tried to argue more, but Roman was already back in the house. "Damn it!" He gave Rowan one last look of contempt before chasing after the Samoan. "Ro! Babe! Wait up!"

* * *

Dean leaned back against the locked bathroom door. He had Kevin in his lap and his phone in his hand. Even from where he was, he could hear the faint sound of Roman and Seth arguing. They were probably trying to decide what to do next. Maybe he needed to be there for the discussion, but he couldn't bring himself to go down there. He just kept looking at the number that was still on his phone. It was the number Bray had called him from. The last conversation they had was playing in his head. Bray hadn't sounded that angry when they had talked. But how could he not have been. Dean had put a bullet in his head. Of course he had to be pissed. The question was, why had it just been Rowan? Why hadn't Bray himself come? Was it a warning? A sign of things to come? Or had Rowan acted for the sake of his own revenge? Neither he or Harper liked him. Both of them wanted him dead long before this. Maybe it had been Harper who had sent Rowan here. Maybe Bray didn't even know. It seemed doubtful, given how much control Bray had over his flock. But there was still a chance. And Dean had to know for sure.

His thumb felt heavy as he dialed the number. The voice in his head was screaming that he was going to regret it. But that didn't stop him from putting the phone to his ear. It didn't stop him from waiting on baited breath with each ring of the phone. Roman and Seth would go nuts if they found out what he was doing. Part of him wished they would interrupt. Make him come to his senses. But they were so very far away out in the garage, and just when he about hung up on his own, Bray's voice made him stop.

"Little lamb?"

If his throat hadn't hurt so much, he would have gulped. "Your boy tried to kill me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Sheep boy."

"Rowan? He's with you?"

Dean bit his lower lip. Bray sounded genuinely confused. It seemed like he didn't know. But Dean was afraid of fully trusting his gut on that. What if he was wrong? What if he was too clouded and fucked up to know anything when it came to Bray. "Seth stopped him. He was going to kill me. Did you send him?"

"Why would I send him to do that?" Bray sounded genuinely curious. "Because of our last...regretful incident?"

"Regretful?" Dean's throat ached as his voice spiked. "You tried to kill me! You shot Roman! You-"

"You tried to put me down like a dog," Bray reminded him. "A regular man would have died. But you forgot that I'm not a regular man."

"No. You're fucking insane."

Bray was silent for a long time. Dean almost thought he hung up when he spoke again. "I still think of you. She tells me not to. But I can't stop."

Dean felt his insides go cold. "Bray..."

"I still love you."

"No." Dean shook his head. "No no no don't do this. Don't do this to me. I just want you to call off your boys. Don't let them near me and mine again."

"And what do I get out of stopping them?" Bray asked. "You shot me darlin. Just because I love you doesn't mean I'm not angry over that." He chuckled, though it was hard to tell whether it was because he actually found something funny or because he just knew it would scare Dean. Hell, maybe it was a combination of both. "Maybe I should let them have their fun. Rowan will try it again."

"Rowan's going to jail. Roman's calling the cops."

Bray laughed again. "And how well did the jail idea work for me? I'll free him. Just like he helped to free me."

Dean clutched Kevin so tightly against his chest that the little dog whined in protest. "Please..."

"Please what?"

"What do you get out of this?" Dean had to ask. It was fucking genuinely confusing and concerning as to what the fuck Bray was even getting out of this anymore. "We nearly killed each other. This isn't healthy. This isn't love. This is just sick."

"It doesn't have to be." Bray sounded more serious now. "Just let me see you."

"No."

"I need you."

"And I can't do this again! You're not the fucking only one who gets a say in this Bray!" Dean let Kevin go so he could hug his knees to his chest instead. His eyes burned with tears. He wasn't going to cry. No no no he couldn't do that. He couldn't fucking give Bray that kind of power. "This isn't just about you. That's not how relationships work. I'm sorry to fucking break that to you."

"Because you know all so fucking well about how they work." Bray was getting angry now. The voice in Dean's head was telling him to hang up. Just hang up before he said something to make it even worse.

Dean tensed at those words. "I'm trying here. You're not even making an attempt."

"Oh I'm not? I'm down there trying to get you. I live every day trying to pretend I'm not in total darkness." Bray picked up speed as he talked, not giving Dean the chance to interrupt. "I thought I wanted you here in the darkness with me. But maybe I want the light now. But there's no light without you."

"There wasn't light anywhere in our relationship. You prey on people. You preyed on me and fucking used everything you could against me. You getting off on that isn't a fucking "light". It's just fucking gross."

"Is that what your little doctor says?"

"That's how it is. I don't need her to say anything to see it now." Dean wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Keep Rowan away from me or I swear-"

"You swear to what?" There it was. Too many buttons of Bray's had been pressed now. He was angry at being threatened. Angry about being rejected. Angry because he was just so very far away from what he really wanted. "Are you going to kill me? You failed at that the first time. You can try if you want, but I'll come back. I'll come back and I'll come straight for you."

Dean shook his head. "Stop it."

"Make me stop," Bray dared. "You're the one who called me. You have my boy in your grasp. You could have just let the cops take him, but you just had to call me. And to what? Ask me questions you know the answers to? You know that when I want to get you, I'll be there for it. And you know why?"

"Don't..."

"Because you're mine."

"No."

"Because I love you."

"Stop."

"Do they even know you're talking to me?"

The sudden change in topic threw Dean off guard. "What?"

"Your boys," Bray clarified. "Do they know you called me?"

Dean couldn't answer that without lying. And Bray always knew when he was lying.

"Keeping secrets from them again little lamb? That's not a very good sign, now is it?"

"I'm not...it's just..I..."

"Are you really happier being with them? Do they really understand you? Did getting away from me even solve anything? Or are you still haunted? By me and everyone else? Everyone who hurt you." Bray was getting warmed up again. "You never told me all the stories, but I never needed you to. You blame me for breaking you, but really, you were broken long before I had you."

Dean just stared at the floor. It wasn't like Bray was wrong there.

"Maybe they do love you. Maybe I was wrong about that. But they'll never be able to fix you. They won't know how. They've never been broken or lost the way you are. They can't understand, even if they really want to. Trying to will just exhaust them. The darkness that lives in you will weigh them down too."

Dean needed him to stop. He needed just to hang up. But his body wouldn't listen to anything his brain said.

"And maybe they'll just hate you for it. Or you'll hate them because they were supposed to make it all better, right? Isn't that why you chose them? To be better?"

Dean bit down on his lower lip so hard he drew blood.

"Am I touching a nerve darlin?"

His fingers finally worked enough to end the call. Dean let the phone drop out of his hand, ignoring it when Bray almost immediately called back. He was stupid. He was so very god damn stupid and he fucking hated himself for it. "Bad." He hit his head back against the door as hard as he could "Bad bad bad bad bad..."


	8. Chapter 8

It wasn't hard to find Luke after he was done talking to Dean. Even with not knowing this compound the way he did the old one, there were only so many places for Harper to go. He eventually found him by the pond with Isabella, the two of them talking quietly to each other. Bray was careful as he approached, not making a sound so he could listen in on their little conversation. The both of them had their eyes focused out on the water, so they didn't see him coming.

"Do you really think he can do it?" Isabella pulled her dress up so she could move closer to the water and put her feet in it. "Do you think Brother Rowan can kill the bad man?"

Harper nodded. His fingers wrapped around a rock, picking it up and rubbing against its sharp edges. "He's been waiting for this. He's wanted it since the beginning." He brought the rock closer to his face, examining it closely. "Bray took him in. Protected him from a world that was cruel to him. His parents abandoned him because he was different. Others mocked him. They stripped him of innocence, made him a monster. But Bray saved him. And now Bray is the one who needs saved." He threw the rock out into the pond. "Dean Ambrose is a rat who can slither like a snake. He calls to Bray, tempting him to stray."

"But why can't Brother Bray see it?" Isabella asked with a frown. "He sees everything."

"Brother Bray..." Luke's lip curled. "He's in love."

"But he loves us, doesn't he?"

"Of course. But there's different kinds of love. We're his family, but Dean...you know how we had the wedding for Lawrence and Catherine a couple months ago?"

She nodded.

"They fell in love. And it can be the sweetest thing in the world for some. But for others it's dangerous. It's poison. And you can't fight it the way you can other things, no matter how strong you are." He put his hand on her shoulder. "That's why Bray needs us to fight for him. Dean Ambrose sank into his heart and his brain. He can't see what he needs to see. He won't hear the things he needs to hear."

Bray raised his eyebrows. It was time to make his presence known. "Oh I'm seeing and hearing plenty. Don't you two worry about that."

Both Luke and Isabella jumped at the sound of his voice. Isabella's eyes went wide, her face fearful because they had been caught. Luke masked anything he felt really quick, instead just staring at Bray passively.

"You want to know what just happened to me?" Bray put his hands behind his back and tilted his head to the side. "It was actually quite interesting." He gave them only a split second to respond before just telling them. "I got a call from one Mr. Dean Ambrose. Apparently, our dear Rowan did in fact almost get him. But Mr. Rollins just managed to save the day." His eyes narrowed at Luke, who looked furious. "And now he's certainly in jail because you sent him on his own. And really, did we learn nothing from when I tried to kill my little lamb? You were the one telling me then to drop it. That seeking vengeance was only going to dig my own grave."

"This wasn't vengeance." Harper stood up so he could face Bray fully. "This was to protect you."

"Maybe somewhat, but let's not pretend you two haven't been just looking for any excuse to get him." Bray closed the distance between him and Luke, but kept his hands behind his back. "I appreciate the concern, but I don't need your protection. My little lamb is my business. I will handle him as I see fit."

"He doesn't even want you," Luke said bluntly. "He never loved you. Not like you loved him. He doesn't deserve you. Dirty street rat is all he is. It's all he's ever been."

"Some used to say the same thing about you. But I never judged you." Bray placed a hand on Luke's chest. "Jealousy is still an ugly thing for you to wear Luke. And all it's done now is land Erick in jail." He even had to cringe as he thought about that one. Erick had spent years in and out of institutions before he got his hands on him. There was no way he was handling this well. "We have to get him. We need to bail him out and see what exactly Mr. Rollins did to him to stop him."

Harper nodded. They could at least agree on that. "And what do we do if he's hurt him?"

"Then we deal with him."

"And what of Ambrose?"

Bray didn't immediately answer that one. This was much more tricky area. He knew what Abigail was saying to him. He knew what his family wanted. But his heart was already beating faster at the mere thought of being so close to Dean. His body tingled in anticipation. There was no way he could go there and not at least see him. Even if he tried, it was a fight he wouldn't win. "You let me worry about him." It wasn't the answer Luke was looking for, but it was the best Bray could give him. "You just help me worry about our boy."

* * *

Dean didn't tell Roman and Seth about calling Bray. He knew he needed to. It wasn't right to keep it from them. But they were still upset by the time the cops hauled Rowan off to jail, so it didn't feel like the right time to bring it up. And as more days passed, he found that he was scared of how they would react anyway. It had been a stupid thing to do. He knew this. But what if they got mad at him? He couldn't really justify what he had done. At least not good enough for them to not be majorly upset. So he just stayed quiet, the anxiety burning away inside of him. Every moment he just kept expecting Bray to walk in the door. It wouldn't shock him if it happened. That would just be Bray's way of doing things. But he hoped that it wouldn't come to that. He didn't want to deal with it all again. He wanted things to be okay. He wanted to keep trying to rebuild his life, but it just felt like it was a matter of time before it all fell apart.

"Have you ever thought about contacting your mother?"

Dr. Walsh's question brought Dean back to the present. He was sitting across from her, his gaze having been down on his lap until then. Seth was waiting outside the room while Jimmy and Jey accompanied Roman to his physical therapy session. Dean didn't know if Seth was eavesdropping, so he just wasn't going to tell Walsh about his call to Bray either. That gave her room to bring up this, which wasn't a much better topic. "Why?" he asked sullenly. "I have nothing to say to her."

Dr. Walsh didn't look convinced. "I think you have a lot to say to her. I think maybe it would be good for you. You've held so much in for so long. If you said what you had to say-"

"What would I even say? Hey Mom, you're a fucking bitch for choosing drugs over me? For letting your boyfriends beat the shit out of me?" Dean swallowed hard and rubbed his eyes. "What's that going to do? Why should she even care? She didn't care then and she won't now." He waved his right hand around wildly. "I just...want to erase her. Erase all of them. I don't need their fucking shit."

"You can't just erase the things done to you."

"Why not?"

"Because these things have helped to shape you. They've made you who you are. Maybe you buried them before, but Bray brought them out and they're clearly not going away again now. You need to confront these things head on now, and I think your mother is a good starting point."

It wasn't that she didn't have a good point. Maybe it would be better just to have it out with his mother. To confront her and put it in her face of what she had done wrong with him. But the thought of her still not caring was still too scary for him to want to do it. Her indifference was not something he needed. Not in the state he was in. Maybe if Bray wasn't back in the picture it would be different. But now it just felt like all his energy was going to not falling back into his trap. And he couldn't fucking tell her. He didn't even know if he wanted to tell her now. So he just clammed up, picking at his jeans for the rest of the session and grunting. Once he was able he rushed out of there, not even stopping to look at Seth as he walked.

"Hey!" Seth almost had to jog to catch up to him. "Dude, what' wrong? What did she say?"

"Blah blah blah, talk to your mom. Blah blah blah confront your issues." Dean hit the button to the elevator angrily. "I don't fucking want to talk to her. I got enough shit to deal with. I don't need her back in my life." He saw the look Seth was giving him and groaned. "Don't say it. Please don't."

Seth cringed. "I think she's right."

"Of course you do. And maybe she fucking is." The elevator doors opened and they stepped inside it. "But we have bigger things to fucking worry about than shit she let happen to me over ten years ago." The doors closed and Dean slumped back against the wall. "I can't deal with her if Bray and his boys are running around. I just fucking can't."

"Alright." Seth put a hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed tightly. "No Mama Ambrose for you."

"Good." There was at least that settled. The tiniest bit of relief washed over Dean. It didn't last long though. The moment they stepped outside, it felt like they were being watched. He looked around, his heart racing a little now. He didn't see anyone blatantly watching them, but that didn't mean anything. "Seth?"

"Yeah?" Seth had opened the car door but stopped before getting in.

Dean looked around more. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing straight up. His stomach was twisting uncomfortably. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched.

"Dean?" Seth sounded worried. "What is it?"

"I...I think he's here."

Seth's face paled. He looked around now, searching for any sign of Bray. "Fuck." He bit down on his lower lip. "Are you sure?"

Dean nodded. He didn't want to. But everything in his brain was telling him it was the case. "Call Roman." He got in the car and tried to buckle his seatbelt. His hands were shaking to bad to allow him to do it. "Seth come on. Call Roman. Make sure he's okay."

"Okay okay." Seth got in the car and pulled out his phone. "I'm calling." He got the car started so he could drive with one hand and use the phone with the other. "Just breathe alright? I won't let him get you. I stopped Rowan and I can stop Bray too."

Stopping Rowan was an entirely different thing than stopping Bray. Dean didn't look to argue. He just stared out the window instead. Even as they were driving away, he couldn't shake the feeling he was having. He wasn't even surprised. Thanks to him, Bray knew Rowan was in jail. Bray and the others would be coming to get Rowan out. And as long as they were here, of course they would come looking for him. And by association, Seth and Roman. This was all his fault. Again.

"What do you mean they called and said Rowan's out?" Seth's hysteric voice nearly made Dean jump out of his seat. "He tried to KILL Dean! Since when is that not enough to keep someone in custody anymore?"

Dean didn't hear what Roman was saying on the other line. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it. Instead he just pressed his forehead to the window and closed his eyes. Breathe. He had to breathe. They could do this. They could get through this. He just couldn't panic. He had to keep it together or he would just make everything worse.

* * *

It was supposed to just be a look. A quick look after bailing Rowan out of jail. Bray got Rowan somewhat settled at a hotel and ordered Harper to finishing tending to him while Bray took his sneak peek. But the moment he laid eyes on Dean, he knew he was already in too deep. He found Dean and Seth coming from the therapist's office, Dean all twitchy and upset. All the sit downs with the dear doctor didn't seem to be having the desired effect now. Bray watched them go to the car, eyes widening when Dean clearly sensed his presence. Dean could feel him there. The realization tickled him completely. For as long as they had been apart, for as much as Dean claimed to not want him anymore, they still had a connection. A connection that just couldn't be broken. They were a moth and a flame, though he wasn't even sure which one of them was which at this point. He didn't want to put too much thought into it. Not now. Not when he had no time to waste. Harper and Rowan were expecting to go home in the morning. That would probably be all he could make them wait without causing another argument.

He lost sight of Seth and Dean when they drove off. Not that it mattered. He knew where they lived, so he got there just fine. Once he arrived he circled the house, watching right through the windows. Roman still wasn't fully recovered from his gunshot wound, which suited Bray just fine. It wouldn't bother him in the slightest if Roman never fully regained his ability to walk. He watched him and Seth talk anxiously, Seth getting completely agitated while Roman tried to remain calm. He couldn't hear what was being said, but he felt it was safe to guess that they were thinking about running again. It would be just like them. Run and hide his little lamb. But there was only so long they could do that. Hadn't they learned from last time? They couldn't run and hide forever. One way or another, he would always catch up to them.

It wasn't lost on him that Dean wasn't taking part in the argument. A climb up the tree let him see Dean inside one of the bedrooms. He was on the bed, a bottle of vodka in hand and a cigarette in the other. The look on his face was a mix of emotions. Fear, anger, anxiety; they all blended together and drove him to self medicate. And his boys seemed to have no idea. Every time Dean took a glance at the door made it clear that he was meaning to hide it. Bray could only shake his head. Dean was still lost. Determination was one thing, but just because one wanted to find a way out of the woods didn't mean that it could just magically be done. It took time. Effort. And sometimes, even after all the effort, one could easily find that there was no way out. They could discover that it was just their destiny to be lost.

He climbed down from the tree and circled the house. There had to be a way in. There wouldn't be a key to get from under a mat or an unlocked door. The Shield boys weren't completely stupid. But there still had to be a way in. A weakness for him to exploit. Everyone and everything had a weakness. It was just a matter of finding it.

The basement window didn't look as new or fixed up as the others. A simple push on it got it open. Bray waited for a moment, listening to see if he heard any alarms going off. When he didn't he smiled. There it was. He squeezed in, slithering in feet first so he wouldn't fall on his head. It was almost surprising they didn't have a security system down here too. Maybe they just hadn't thought of it. Or maybe they hadn't had time. Trying to fix Dean's mind and Roman's body were clearly two very time consuming things.

Bray looked around the room, his eyes adjusting quickly to the darkness. The room was filled with all sorts of boxes of junk. He swiped his finger over a couple of them, but didn't actually peek inside. Instead he sat down on the bottom step, just listening to the sounds from upstairs. All the talking was muffled, but it didn't sound like they were going anywhere. Not yet. And that was good. Bray liked that. That meant all he had to do now was wait.


	9. Chapter 9

The night dragged by so slowly that Seth thought time had gone still. Every round through the house ended with a glance at the clock, which just didn't seem to move. Anxiety made it too hard to even think about sitting still, let alone sleeping. With Roman not fully healed (and in fact had passed out from physical therapy induced exhaustion despite his best efforts not to), he was left as the protector. Dean was upstairs with Roman, laying in bed and watching TV. Or at least attempting to. He wasn't in any real state to focus on anything but his increasing anxiety and paranoia. Seth could smell alcohol on his breath, but this felt like the completely wrong time to call him out on it. They needed to focus on being prepared for Bray. Though if they were going to be perfectly honest, even with having an idea of what the crazy bastard could throw their way, Seth didn't actually feel prepared for it. For all the preparation that could be done, Bray was still a completely crazy force of nature. All it would take was the tiniest of mistakes for him to turn the situation around into his favor. He was a fucking master of it. Seth couldn't let that happen though. Not again. Dean was trying to put his life together. He didn't need Bray to be back and ready to ruin it.

Seth stopped in the living room so he could look out the window. Everything outside looked normal. It was dark so the neighbors had finally pulled their kids in for the night. There was a couple walking their Dalmatian up the alley, but other than that there was no sign of life out there. He fixed the curtain and stepped away from the window. The only sound he could hear in the house was the faint sound of the TV upstairs. The quiet should have made him feel better. But there was still a horribly uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The calm didn't feel like a calm that meant nothing was going to happen. It just felt like the calm before the storm. He hated the feeling. He tried to will it away. He really did. But as he made another round through the house, the hair on the back of his neck began to stand up. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He stopped near the basement stairs, his eyes going to the door. The door that was oh so very slightly ajar. The door that had been completely closed when he had gone by it earlier. His breath caught in his throat. Oh no. No no no. It couldn't be possible. It shouldn't have been. But if there had been anything that he had learned in dealing with Bray, the impossible had the tendency to fucking happen.

"Dean!" His voice wasn't the shout that he tried to make it be. Fear choked him. Breathe. He had to breathe and keep his head clear. First thing was to check on Dean and Roman upstairs. Second thing was get them out of the house. He could get them to Jimmy and Naomi's place and come back to search the house in the morning. If things with Bray had been any less drastic in the past, he would admit to that being a drastic plan. But his gut was telling him to not fuck around, and he had to listen.

He moved for the stairs but never got there. The shadow moved in from behind, one hand going over his mouth and the sharp end of a broken piece of wood went directly into his right thigh. He screamed, the sound muffled by the all too familiar hand. The pain shot not just through his leg, but through his whole body as well, rendering him too shocked to move. The figure leaned in and the wild beard against his neck made his skin crawl.

"My boy has a nasty looking wound on his leg." Bray's voice was so quiet that Seth almost didn't even hear him, despite how close they were. "And now by extraordinary coincidence, you do too." He yanked the wood out of Seth's leg, earning himself another muffled scream. "I broke an old coffee table I found down there. Hope you don't mind."

The table was the least of Seth's worries. He struggled against Bray's grip, trying to focus on anything but the pain or the sudden wave of wooziness that hit him. Dean and Roman. He had to protect them. They didn't know Bray was in the house. He felt himself being picked up and immediately started kicking with his good leg. His teeth sank down into Bray's hand. For a moment he thought it worked. Bray let him go. He took in the breath to scream as his legs tried to run. The warning he meant to give never came to pass though. Bray's fist caught him on the back of the head and he found himself falling. His arms didn't get to catch himself in time and he hit the floor head first, going out before he heard Bray's satisfied chuckle.

* * *

Dean chewed on his lower lip as his eyes stayed glued to the television screen. He had turned on Netflix and had turned on Sons of Anarchy because Jimmy and Jey had gotten him into it during the hiatus he had to take after Bray's last attack. They had tried to get him into The Walking Dead, but he wasn't yet willing to go for that one. He had never been into the whole horror genre. Having the shit scared out of him had never been something he liked. Cheesy action flicks were what he liked best. This show was pretty good though. Too bad he couldn't really concentrate on it. He was too freaked out to relax. Seth was running around the house while Roman was passed out, curled up under his arm. Poor guy was trying too hard to get back to one hundred percent. His doctor thought he would get there, but he needed to take it easier on himself than he was. Hurting himself was only going to fuck everything up in the long run. And things getting more fucked up was the last thing they needed. Not with Bray lurking around. Bray.

The mere thought of him sent a shiver down his spine. Knowing he was out there but not knowing when and where he would strike was fucking so badly with his head. It was setting in that no matter how hard he tried to pick up the pieces of his life and move on, he had no control over Bray's obsession. He couldn't make him stop coming after him. Reasoning with him hadn't worked. Having him put in jail hadn't worked. The whole shooting him in the head thing hadn't worked. What did he have to do? Did one of them actually have to die to end this? Dean didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to kill anyone. Not even Bray. It would surely be deserved, but it made him feel weird and twisted inside to even think about it.

His inability to concentrate made him finally turn off the show. Kevin looked up from his spot at the foot of the bed. "Sorry buddy." Dean untangled himself from Roman so he could sit up and scratch the little dog behind the ears. "Keep Roman company okay? I'm going to go check on your daddy."

Kevin tilted his head back to lick his hand before getting up and actually moving to lay with Roman. Dean grinned. Dog was pretty smart. He got off the bed and headed out of the room. His sweat pants hung low on his hips, actually nearly ready to fall off. It was starting to make him feel like he had on a pair of Roman's. That probably was the case. He didn't tend to pay attention to the stuff he put on until it didn't fit right. He wasn't going back to change now though. Instead he just went downstairs. He didn't hear Seth walking around anymore. The house was quiet. Too quiet. Dean stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked around. "Seth?" He swallowed hard as his voice shook. "Seth where are you?"

No answer. This wasn't right. Something really wasn't fucking right. "Seth?" He slowly moved away from the staircase and headed towards the kitchen. "Seth where are you?" He listened carefully, desperate to hear any kind of noise that would tell him where the younger man was. "This isn't funny!" He tried to keep his voice firm. Maybe if he pretended that Seth was messing around long enough, it would somehow magically be the case. "This fucking funny you can't..." His voice trailed off as he walked into the kitchen. His heart stopped and plummeted down into his stomach. His jaw dropped and his chest tightened so badly that he couldn't even breathe. He wasn't surprised by what he was seeing. He couldn't be. Not after everything that had happened before. But it didn't stop him from wanting to scream. It didn't mean he wasn't so terrified that he couldn't even think to scream. It didn't mean that he didn't just want to roll up into a ball and die on the spot, because that sounded like a much better option at the moment.

"Hello darlin." Bray was sitting at the kitchen table, leaning back in one of the chairs with his feet kicked up on the table. He was smiling. He was fucking smiling like he was an invited guest. "You're not going to scream now are ya?"

Dean needed to. He fucking needed to. But his voice still refused to work. Bray actually waited, seemingly wanting to genuinely find out if he would scream or not. When he saw that it wasn't going to happen yet, a smile crossed his face. "Good. Good. I like that." He took his feet off the table and put the chair back on all four legs. "I've missed you." He was just going to start right in. Get out what he could before Dean changed his mind about the screaming thing. "I did try to stay away. Honest. But I couldn't resist. Not when I had to bail out my boy."

"Where's Seth?" Dean forced himself to get that question out at least. He still felt like he couldn't breathe. How did Bray get in? When had he gotten in? Were Harper and Rowan around? What was the plan? He had to find out. He had to get to Seth and Roman and Kevin and get them out. He had to fucking breathe because fuck, he felt like he was going to pass out. "What did you do to him?"

"He's around." Bray stood up. "He's lucky it was me who got a hold of him and not Rowan. My boy isn't too happy about that wound on his leg."

"He tried to kill me." Dean tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. "He deserved it."

"Did he? Because he and Rowan are under the impression that you deserve to die." Bray put his hands behind his back and slowly approached Dean. "I'm sure you don't agree with that." His lips twitched and his eyes refused to leave Dean's. "What everyone deserves seems to be a matter of perspective, don't you think?"

Scream. Run. His mind begged for him to do one of these two things. But he didn't. What was the point? Who would he scream to? Roman? He wouldn't be able to do much of anything. Seth? He was clearly already taken care of by Bray. He was alone. Nobody was going to save him.

Bray stopped right in front of him. His hands stayed behind his back but he leaned forward, putting his face uncomfortably close to his. "I really did miss you. I know I've told you that, but I really need you to understand how much it's hurt in here." He moved one arm back around and Dean flinched. Bray raised an eyebrow and put his hand over his own chest instead of actually touching him just yet. "They're all in my head. Luke. Erick. Abigail. All of them. Telling me to stop. They don't understand though. Trying is not all that simple. I mean, if it was, you'd be all better by now wouldn't you?"

Dean stiffened. "You don't know anything."

"Don't I?" Bray leaned in entirely too close once again. Honoring things like personal space was still an issue with him. "So can you look me in the eye and tell me that all your trying has paid off? Can you tell me you're all nice and fixed just because this whole trying thing is nice and simple. Because if you can, you know what? I'll leave right now. And I won't ever come back."

Dean's first instinct was to just say it then. He opened his mouth to do it. His brain screamed for it. But he faltered as Bray just gave him a look. There was no lying to him. Not for the lack of wanting to of course; it just wouldn't do any good. Bray fucking knew him too well to fall for it. "That's not fair. That's not fucking fair you bastard."

"Nobody said life was fair little lamb." Bray put his one arm back behind his back with the other. "The world is harsh and cruel. It don't give a damn about what you want. It don't even give a damn about what I want. He circled Dean slowly, making Dean have to turn with him so his back wouldn't be to him for even a single second. "If it did, do you really think we'd be here right now?" He shook his head, answering his own question. "You'd be home with me. You never would have left. Your boys never would have been a factor." His lip curled at having to mention Seth and Roman. "But none of that matters. You don't want anything to do with me. Yet I can't stay away." He grabbed the front of Dean's shirt, not letting him step back. "So if neither of us are winning, what are we supposed to do?"

That was the million dollar question. Dean had no idea how to answer it. He could say Bray needed to get out. To just leave him and Roman and Seth alone. To accept that he had lost but what good would saying it even do? He could say it until he was blue in the face but that didn't mean Bray would accept it. "Let go of me," he finally said. There they were. He could settle for that.

"No."

"Don't do this." Dean tried to yank himself out of Bray's grip. "Don't fucking do this. Not again."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Bullshit!" Anger rose in Dean like a fire now. "That's fucking bullshit!" His voice was rising. He was going to wake up Roman. Hopefully Roman would have the sense to call the cops instead of trying to come down there and handle this himself. "Fucking let go of me!" He tried harder to yank himself free.

"Little lamb..."

The anger got the best of Dean. He reared his hand back and slapped Bray across the face as hard as he could. The smack seemed to echo through the whole room. Bray's head rocked to the side and Dean froze, in disbelief that he had actually done that. Bray stayed completely still for a long moment. His hair hung over his face and his hand kept its strong grip on his shirt. He wasn't letting go. Fuck. Dean tried to yank himself free again. He didn't care if he ripped his shirt. Bray's gaze was coming back to him and there was an iciness to his stare now. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He shouldn't have hit him. He fucked up. He totally fucked up.

Anger got the best of Bray next. His strike was much worse than a slap though. It was a drastic overreaction. Or perhaps his anger now combined itself with the anger over getting shot in the head and it all just came bubbling out. Whatever it was, it got him spun around and slammed into the wall. One hand slapped itself over his mouth while the other took his left arm and yanked his shoulder out of its socket. He screamed, the sound muffled by Bray's hand. Tears of pain burned his eyes. That fucking bad shoulder. It was a perpetual target for his opponents in the ring. Of course Bray would go for it. He tried to breathe. To focus on anything but the pain. His stomach was twisting and churning on itself. He was going to get sick. Fuck, he was going to be so sick.

He was spun back around so he was facing Bray as he was slammed against the wall once more. The hand came off his mouth but he didn't get the chance to scream. Bray's lips were on his before he could stop them. The kiss sent a shock through his whole body. He stiffened up, whimpering as Bray pressed himself against him. His left arm dangled uselessly next to him while his right one failed in pushing Bray away. Despite the pain and the torment Bray had put him through, there was a spark in the kiss. He could feel the desperation in it. The wild need. For all the love and stability that came with Roman and Seth, they didn't NEED him like this. They WANTED him but they didn't NEED him. _Bray doesn't need YOU either. He needs what he can turn you into. He needs his favorite victim. You know this. Don't fall for it. Don't fucking fall for it you idiot._

He jerked his head away and was surprised when Bray actually let him do it. They both gasped for breath, chests rising and falling rapidly. Bray didn't move away from the wall. He kept Dean nice and pinned down there, seemingly enjoying watching Dean squirm.

"I love you."

"No."

"No?"

"You...you love an idea of me." Dean swallowed hard, trying not to lose his nerve as he said this. "You don't fucking love me for me. You never did. I was...your like...favorite fucking toy that you could like break and mold into whatever you wanted." He shook his head, his eyes pleading with Bray to understand. "That's not love. I might still be a fucked up mess, but I know that."

"Not love huh?" Bray's eyes narrowed. "You think I don't know what love is? You think I would be here if I didn't love you?"

"You're obsessed! Obsession isn't love." Dean tried to push him away again. "You can't keep dragging us down this road. I don't want to fucking be on it. You're driving us both fucking insane!" He swore he could hear a thump from upstairs and prayed that was Roman trying to get to a phone. They had to get Bray out of there and find out what the fuck he had done to Seth. "Abigail said to let me go. Listen to her."

"Listening to her got us into this whole mess," Bray reminded him.

"And she's trying to get you out!" Talking about a dead woman he had never met before in his life didn't feel as weird as it should have. She came up so often with Bray she might as well had just been there. "She's trying to save you. Let her save you."

"And what if saving me meant getting rid of you?" Bray's hand went to his throat and squeezed entirely too hard. "What if she's telling me to kill you? Do you still want me to listen? Would you care about my soul's salvation if it meant your life?" His grip tightened and the choked out noise that escaped him was something Bray took as a no. "Didn't think so." He got his face real close again, their lips almost touching again. "I could do it." He stared intently as Dean's increasingly blue turning face. "I didn't come in here with reckless abandon like last time. I could take care of you, the little rat and your broken superhero upstairs."

Dean uselessly smacked his hand against Bray's chest. The lack of oxygen was starting to make his brain short-circuit. His left arm still dangled uselessly. His feet weren't even helping to hold him up. He was fading away oh so very fast.

"Or maybe I could have you again." Bray let go of his throat and grabbed him by both arms instead. "Your boys can't stop me. You can't either." Bray let his eyes go up and down Dean's body. He was hungry for it. He hadn't had Dean since the night Roman and Seth ran with him at the arena. Dean squirmed uncomfortably. Bray wasn't fucking wrong with what he said. Nobody would be able to stop him if he did it.

"Don't...please..." That was the most Dean could really say before the pain in his throat became too much to continue.

"Dean!" Roman's voice came from upstairs. "Dean where are you?"

Bray's lips found Dean's again, silencing him before he could scream. His hands moved over Dean's body, ultimately shoving his shoulder back into place. His cries of pain were swallowed by the kiss. Dean could faintly hear Roman call out for him again, but he could barely process it. His eyes were glued to Bray's as they broke apart, chest growing tight at the smirk on his lips.

"I'll be seeing you." Bray let him go after one last kiss to the forehead. Dean's legs gave out from under him and he sank to the floor. His eyes stayed on Bray until he strolled out the door. Once it clicked shut behind him, he closed them and finally screamed, prompting Roman to literally drag himself out from the bedroom and scaring the shit out of Seth, who had been bound and gagged in the pantry the whole time.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I wanted to get this up last night but work and life prevented me from getting it done. On a special note, Vermilion69 made a playlist for this story and The Darkness Inside on 8tracks titled "Down That Rabbit Hole". I'm absolutely tickled that someone would be inspired to make anything based off any of my works, and there's very fitting song choices in it. I definitely say check it out.

* * *

The empty playground seemed to be as good of a place to go as any. Bray wasn't ready to go back to his hotel room yet, so he went there instead. He circled the slides and jungle gym before sitting down on one of the swings. His body was buzzing with a renewed energy. Seeing Dean had gone about how he had expected it to. He hadn't been naïve enough to think that Dean would welcome him back with open arms. Not with the way things ended. But it still felt good to see him. To touch him. To kiss him...the kisses were really stuck on his brain. The moment their lips had met it had felt like a spark had gone off inside of him. And even if he would deny it, Bray knew Dean had felt it too. Despite everything that had happened, their connection was still there. That deep, dark, primal connection that kept him so ensnared. The only part that he found himself wishing to take back was ripping Dean's shoulder out of its socket. That had been a mistake on his part. Nothing like that was going to help him get Dean back.

Getting Dean back. What an idea that was. So many people were opposed to it. Seth, Roman, Harper, Rowan...there were more to name, but those were his main adversaries. Roman and Seth believed Dean to be theirs. They hadn't yet gotten tired of him. But that wasn't meaning their paths were smooth sailing. Dean hadn't been able to lie to him about being better. For all this therapy, for all the support Roman and Seth were supposed to be giving him, it hadn't fixed him. Not in the way Bray knew he had wanted it to. He was still damaged. He was still a broken soul. Bray knew they had put the blame on him, but what nobody had wanted to face was the fact that Dean had been that way before he had come into the picture. He had been the one to see it. Dean had never shared the specifics to the things that had happened to him, but Bray never really needed him to. He could guess enough of it all on his own.

He grabbed the chains on the swing and twisted them tightly as he began to rock slowly. The wind was picking up, the breeze feeling nice against his skin. He hadn't wanted to leave. Hell, he probably could have gotten away with not doing it. Seth had been subdued. Roman wouldn't have been hard to take out. But he had chosen to leave. It had felt like the wiser thing to do. Doing everything with such violence only got him so far. That had been proven. He needed to try a different approach. One that would lure Dean back in. He needed Dean to crave him. To need him. Bray felt that way towards him and he needed it to be returned. It was going to require a tremendous amount of patience. And thankfully, patience was still one of his virtues.

The sight of a police car driving down the street made Bray pause. He kept his eyes trained on it, his grip on the chain tightening to the point that it hurt. His heartbeat kicked up in anticipation. He expected the car to stop. He expected the officer to get out and come at him because Reigns and Rollins had called the police. But if they had, the cop missed him completely. The car kept going by and Bray smirked. Even out here, more blatantly in the open, he still was a ghost. That was good. That was very good. That was all he needed. "Tiiiime is on my side." His voice was barely audible too his own ears as he began to rock in the swing once again. "Time is on my side, yes it is..."

* * *

Dean was tired of hospitals. That was something he could say with absolute certainty. Yet there he was, waiting with Roman while Seth got his leg patched up. Seth had refused medical treatment until they dropped Kevin off at Jimmy and Naomi's. Home wasn't safe and they needed to figure out another place to stay. Roman's family was an obvious answer until one remembered what Bray and his band of freaks did to Seth's family. And even if Bray didn't have his followers backing his quest for Dean, he was pretty damn capable of causing massive waves of destruction all on his own. That did leave the issue of where they could possibly stay. A hotel would be a more contained space if they all just stayed in their room, but what if they needed ice? Or drinks? Or what if they needed food that couldn't be delivered? No matter what they did, there would be variables that Bray could inevitably fucking exploit. The only actual solution was to fall off the face of the earth and that wasn't a plan that anyone would agree with. So that left them at totally squared fucked.

Dean groaned and leaned over so he could rest his head on Roman's shoulder. Roman immediately grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. They hadn't really talked a lot since they got there. Between worrying about Seth and wondering just what the fuck they were going to do next, there wasn't a whole lot of room for conversation.

"Did he hurt you?" Roman had only asked that question a dozen times between the time Bray left the house and getting to there at the hospital.

"No." Dean felt bad for lying. He really did. But he didn't want to get into the whole deal with his shoulder. He was sensitive enough about that issue, considering the original source of all the problems with it. Any time it hurt he acted like it didn't, so he didn't really consider his silence as protecting Bray.

Roman didn't believe him. Nobody ever really did. Most of the time they just left him alone about it. It wasn't worth the fight he put up. This wasn't one of those times. "You could barely help Seth."

"I'm fine."

"You wince just moving it."

"I said I'm fine."

"Don't protect him."

"I'm not!" Dean moved away from Roman and glared at him. "Fucking shit man. I said I was fine. Why do you got to push?"

"I'm not trying to push." Roman sighed as Dean just grunted at him. "You don't expect me to believe that he just popped in for a chat. Not when Seth has a fucking hole in his leg." He turned himself as much as he could in his chair and leveled Dean with a steady gaze. "Did he touch you?"

Dean picked at the hem of his shirt.

"Dean. Did he r-"

"No."

"Did he try?"

"No."

"He hurt your shoulder though?"

Dean groaned.

"You need to see a doctor."

"I'm fine."

"No. I'm getting a doctor."

"Don't get a fucking doctor!" Dean glared at him now. "Look, he didn't jack it up anymore than I do in my own damn matches. So just leave it alone, alright?"

It was hard to pinpoint the exact expression on Roman's face, but it was far from a happy one. "What else did he do?"

Dean fidgeted in his chair. He didn't want to talk about the kiss. Thinking about the kiss scared the shit out of him. The way he had felt when Bray had done it...that was not something he was about to admit to Roman. That wasn't anything he was supposed to feel. It was wrong. There shouldn't have been a spark. He didn't want that god damn spark. Nor did he want his lips to keep tingling the way they were. Fuck. Why couldn't he make them stop? He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his leather jacket yet again. That still didn't make it stop. He barely bit back a groan of frustration.

"Dean?" Roman frowned and cautiously put his hand on Dean's leg. "Babe? Talk to me."

"He...he kissed me." Dean had to drag the words out of himself. His body involuntarily shuddered and the tingling in his lips got even worse. Fucking Bray. He had wormed his way in once again. He could still feel his lips on his. His hands gripping his arms entirely too tight. The way he had looked at him. He shuddered again. That was something he wanted to put as far out of his mind as possible.

Roman twitched at his words. His hands clenched into fists. It was a few minutes before he tried to speak, but he didn't get a chance to get any words out. The doctor was approaching, taking their minds off Bray for the time being.

"How is he?" Dean asked.

"The stab wound wasn't quite as deep as we feared, though he lost a fair share of blood before you got to him. He also sustained a concussion, though with him being out of it because of blood loss, we're having a hard time determining how severe it is. We want to keep him for at least tonight for observation."

Dean and Roman exchanged looks. That wasn't necessarily what they wanted to hear, but it was about what they had expected. "Can we see him?" Roman asked.

The doctor didn't look too eager to agree. "Visiting hours-"

"Just for awhile." Roman wasn't going to take a full on no for an answer. "We won't disturb anyone."

The doctor sighed, but ended up leading them to Seth's room anyway. Roman took the lead, even with having to drag himself around with his walker. Dean was close behind, arms wrapped tightly around himself. The effect of Bray was still lingering heavily on his mind. He tried to push it out, not wanting to give him more power than he already had. That was all easier said than done. Heavy fingers played with the edges of his mind, threatening to pull him under once again. He hugged himself more tightly and took a deep breath. Bray wasn't there now. Seeing Seth was the priority. He had to remember that damn it.

The pain in Dean's chest spiked as he and Roman entered Seth's room. Seth was fucking laying there, pale and hurting because of his mess. Again. The logical part of his brain scrambled to remind him that it wasn't his fault. This was all Bray's doing. But it didn't do much against the overwhelming and utterly crushing feeling of guilt. It still felt like he should have been able to stop this somehow.

"Hey." Seth waved them over to the bed, a hint of a smile crossing his features His voice was lower than normal, his speech slightly slurred to boot. "Thank god they finally let you in. I was starting to get pissed."

Roman managed to smile back at him while Dean couldn't really do the same. "How are you feeling?"

"Eh..." Seth shrugged and rubbed his hands over his face. "They're not gonna let me really sleep. Think I got a concussion."

"What happened?" Dean asked as he and Roman took their spots on either side of Seth's bed. They hadn't been able to actually get the story of how Bray got to Seth in the rush to get out of the house. "How did he get in?"

"Basement." Seth's lip curled unhappily. "I think he got in that window." He reached out and grabbed each of their hands. "Fucker snuck up on me with a piece of wood. Fucking wood man. What is that shit?"

"I'm just glad he didn't have a knife." Roman brought Seth's hand to his mouth and kissed his fingertips. "Or stabbed you somewhere worse."

"Yeah..." Seth chewed on his lower lip before looking at Dean. "You okay?"

Dean nodded.

Roman looked like he wanted to say something on the matter, but stopped himself for now. Seth didn't need to hear that now. He could be filled in later, when his head was feeling better. For now, Dean just climbed into the bed with him and wrapped an arm around him, already silently planning with Roman to stay the whole night, despite any objections the doctors and nurses might have.

* * *

"You can't be serious!"

Stephanie's eyes narrowed at Roman for his outburst. Upon getting the news about Seth's injuries, she had flown down to Florida to check on him and then talk business with Roman and Dean. They were at Jimmy and Naomi's house, sitting in the living room with them and Jey. Dean had Kevin in his lap, who had less than zero interest in this conversation. Instead the little thing had two paws on Dean's chest so he could stand up and lick the scar tissue underneath his chin. "I'm completely serious. If Dean is able to compete, we need him on the road. Our roster is stretched thin enough as it is. Punk's still not coming back, Bryan's injury is worse than we thought, you've got no time table of return, Orton's back isn't doing good, Barrett's out with a shoulder and now Seth's out again."

"Don't say that shit like that's his fault," Roman growled. "We were fucking attacked in our own home!"

"And I'm not blaming you! Not any of you! But if Dean's shoulder is in good enough shape, then we need him now more than ever."

"His shoulder isn't fine!" Grey eyes blazed with anger. "He lies about it. He always fucking lies about it."

"Ro, he's sitting right there," Jey reminded him. He looked to Dean, who was trying to be anywhere else but this conversation.

"He knows he lies about it! We go through this all the damn time!" Roman pounded a fist into the couch out of frustration. "The shoulder isn't even the fucking point though. If Dean's out there on his own, Bray's going to come after him."

"He came after him with you and Seth in the house," Naomi reminded him. "That's ultimately why we're even having this conversation.

Roman shot her an absolutely murderous look. "Did anyone ask you?"

"Hey hey hey!" Now Jimmy was getting pissed. "Don't you even come at her. It's not our fault Dean's got a psycho magnet attached to his damn ass."

Guys!" Jey glared at all of them. "He's right fucking there!"

Dean refused to even look up. Instead he kept his gaze on Kevin, who smothered him in tiny dog kisses. His shoulder fucking hurt like hell, but he was too stubborn to admit it. And besides from that, maybe staying on the road wasn't a good idea. Bray could follow him around and not do anymore damage to Seth and Roman. He hurt them enough as it was. Of course, how he would possibly keep Bray from hurting anyone else he'd be around was a matter that he had no idea how to address.

"We'll keep people with him at all times," Stephanie assured Roman. "Security guards, agents, refs, other wrestlers; someone is always going to be with him."

"But-"

"This isn't up for negotiation." Stephanie didn't want to hear it. "We need him, and unless he's planning to pull a Punk and walk, he's obligated to show up when we tell him."

"You-"

"Don't." Dean had to cut in before Roman said something that would get them all in trouble. "It's fine. I'll be fine."

Roman just gave him a look. They both didn't really believe that. But what else could be done? Dean didn't want to lose his job. He didn't want Roman to get himself or even Seth in trouble because of all this. Wrestling was what they loved. It was the one of the few good things he ever had in life. He wasn't looking to get so far in trouble that his career would be jeopardized.

"Good." Stephanie was glad to have that settled. She clapped her hands together and stood up. "Dean, Roman, I promise we'll take all the necessarily precautions to keep you safe."

Right. Safe. What a concept that was. Dean highly doubted her capabilities, but didn't argue the matter. Maybe this would at least mean Seth and Roman would be left alone. That was the best Dean was hoping for anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

"Is he going to be okay?"

Isabella's question snapped Luke out of his brooding. He looked to Rowan, who was the person she was pointing to. They were back home, but it had done little to bring the man back to any resemblance of sanity. He was pacing back and forth again, tugging at his beard and muttering things to himself. Being incarcerated, even for such a short time, had fucked up his head. Before he had come to the family, he had spent the majority of his life imprisoned by his grandparents, who had taken him in when his parents abandoned him. Being locked up made him flash back to that, and now they couldn't get him back. Luke had tried to soothe him. To promise that they would make Rollins pay. Dean still needed to get what was coming to him, but it had been Rollins and Reigns that had ruined everything. Rowan had Ambrose where he wanted him. That much was for sure. He had nearly killed him, and he would have actually done it if the rat Rollins hadn't gotten involved.

"I think he needs Bray."

Luke just grunted. Despite stabbing Seth in the leg for him, Bray wasn't happy with Rowan at all. Or with Harper for the matter. Bray wasn't stupid; he knew Luke had put Erick up to the attack on Dean. Luke hadn't bothered to deny it. This fact though had created a terrible tension in the compound. Most of the followers didn't really know what was going on. They just knew things were not well, which made them nervous. Bray at least tried to soothe them, though Luke knew where his heart was. That was why he had left to go to the bar. He wanted to see if Dean was still on TV, or if they pulled him from the shows since Rollins was clearly going to be out. Harper didn't know what Bray would do in either case. It was becoming more and more clear though that Bray was potentially too far gone for them to get back. Even if they got rid of Dean, he could still spend the rest of his life chasing that ghost. That was a thought that was actually really frightening.

"What if he leaves us?" Isabella tugged on his shirt and brought Luke out of his thoughts. "What are we going to do?"

"He's not going to leave us."

Isabella just gave him a disbelieving look. He wasn't even sure if he believed his own words. Bray had been their guiding hand, but now he had been poisoned. He was absorbed in only his thoughts and feelings. He had changed from what he was supposed to be. Or maybe he had never really been that at all.

Luke tried to shake off that thought. He didn't even want to entertain that one. That wasn't what was going on. Bray just needed help. This was just a time of trouble and tribulation. They would get him through it. He didn't know how, but there had to be a way to do it. And he would find it, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

* * *

The first flower wasn't something Dean thought much of. It was sitting right outside the hotel room door he was sharing with Jey. No note, no sign of who had left it. Jey teased him about an adoring female fan that was too shy to stick around to give it to him in person. Dean had rolled his eyes and brushed it off. But then more started coming. Two were left in the locker he grabbed at the gym. A bouquet was waiting at the receptionist desk right after Smackdown. Two dozen bouquets were left in his locker room after his match against Cesaro on Raw. Seth and Roman swore up and down they weren't sending them. In the midst of some of that swearing, Dean finally found a note. It had fallen off the bench the flowers were left on. He unfolded it and only got past the first two words before his heart seized up in his chest.

_ Little lamb. _

Bray. He should have known. He crumpled up the paper without reading the rest and tossed it away. Bray had been doing this. Bray was following him. That was the only way he had known where to leave all the flowers. He shuddered and backed away from the flowers. He hadn't felt Bray watching him. He hadn't realized he was so close. How hadn't he realized it? Had Bray tried harder to not be noticed? Or was his mind slipping from him? He didn't know. He didn't want to know. He just wanted it to stop. What were these flowers supposed to even mean? Was Bray trying to woo him? Was Bray suddenly thinking that if he tried using sweeter and more romantic moments that he could somehow be won over? After all that had happened between them? How could he think that? He knew Bray was messed up in the head, but he couldn't think this would work. Too much hurt and pain existed between them. He couldn't trust Bray not to fuck him up.

"Dean?" Jey's voice cut through the haze of his thoughts. He was standing at the door with Jimmy and Naomi, all three of them looking at him in concern. "What's wrong?"

Dean shook his head. "Nothing." He grabbed his bag, doing his best to avoid even looking at the flowers. "Let's go."

None of them believed him. Jimmy started to push the subject, but Naomi and Jey both elbowed him in the gut. They were all walking on egg shells around him. Despite their promises to help him and watch his back, they really didn't know what to do with him. They pitied him really. The whole locker room pitied him. Even the people that hated his guts fucking felt sorry for him. He was a fucking cautionary tale for everyone in the back. And he hated it. He hated the way they looked at him. How they would stop talking as soon as he came near. It was driving him nearly as crazy as Bray was. And honestly, he didn't know how much more he could really take.

The ride back to the hotel was uncomfortable. Jey kept trying to engage him in their conversation, but Dean wasn't willing to take the bait. He wanted to. He really did. He knew it wasn't good for him to dwell like this. But he couldn't trust himself to speak. It was hard enough to keep himself together by just sitting there. If he tried to talk and actually act like things were okay, he would lose it completely. Things weren't okay. They weren't going to be okay. He was breaking apart despite all his efforts to fix himself. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe he had just fooled himself when he thought he could ever be anything but a broken shell of a man.

"You know what? Let's go out tonight." Jimmy turned around in his seat to stare back at Jey and Dean. Naomi had taken the wheel and already had them halfway to the hotel. "We'll drop our stuff off at the room get some drinks. Maybe dance a little." He pointed to Jey and gave him a smirk. "Maybe find you a woman since you're the lame ass who's single here."

"Fuck you bro." Jey shot him the middle finger for that one.

"Babe come on," Naomi objected. "It's getting late. And we still have to get up and drive to the next city."

"It's only three hours away though," Jimmy argued. "We can stay out until midnight or one, get up at seven, hit the road by eight..." Jimmy stuck out his lower lip so he could give her his best pout. "Grab some catering for lunch and we'll be ready for TV. It'll be perfect."

He actually did make that sound all nice and easy to do. Naomi mulled it over as did Jey. Dean just sat there and rubbed at his collarbone, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Going out and being with people sounded awful. But what good was sitting in the hotel going to do? He could probably avoid questions better if they went out. And having some drinks sounded fantastic. But going out could lead to him being vulnerable to Bray.

_Like you would be safer in the hotel room. If he's coming for you, he's coming for you. Nothing's going to change that. _

"I'm down." Jey's agreement seemed to seal the deal. Naomi was nodding along now as well. Now all eyes were on Dean. "You okay with that?"

Dean dug his bitten down nails into his shoulder before reluctantly nodding. He didn't feel like he could refuse. It was a stupid feeling. One that was surely not true. But it was there and it made him agree. "Yeah. I need a fucking drink anyway."

He was going to regret this. He fucking knew it.

* * *

Knowing Dean was on the road without Seth and Roman had been too much to resist. Bray couldn't just leave the situation alone. Two of the biggest obstacles in his way were incapacitated. He had to take advantage of that fact. So he had started off small. The flowers weren't his usual go to method of anything, but something new was needed. There had to be a more gentle side to him. Something for Dean to not be scared of. So he sent the flowers, amused by the fact that Dean was so oblivious as to who they were from. Bray had finally included a note to give him a clue. That had seemed to do the trick, which led to where they were now. Instead of going back to the hotel, the Usos and Naomi had saw fit to bring Dean to a night club. The place was dark, the blue and green strobe lights it had not doing an actual job of illuminating anything. Obnoxiously loud hip hop music blasted from the speakers. Bray had gotten himself up to the upper level, hovering near the VIP area so he could watch Dean and the others from the railing. They were up at the bar, pounding back drinks quicker than they should have. Dean was having more than anyone, each drink being followed by a quick look around. Even from his spot up there, Bray could feel his paranoia rolling off him in waves. He was waiting for the monster to come out from under his bed and get him. Bray thought about just going down there. To make his presence known right now and see what they would do about it. But he restrained himself. A fight wasn't what he really wanted.

He tapped his fingers against the railing in time with the song. Dean was pounding down drinks faster and faster. The other three were getting just as drunk, clearly oblivious to his presence. It surprised him that Dean hadn't said anything. It was a good surprise though. It made things easier. He watched as Naomi and Jimmy went to go dance, leaving Jey and Dean to drink on their own. Jey was chatting up some woman while Dean was completely ignoring the guy trying to talk to him. Bray felt his entire body stiffen as the guy didn't take the hint. It was some goofy looking asshole with spiked up hair and an overabundance of tattoos. He shoved a drink towards Dean, who downed it before turning away. Bray watched as the guy frown and order another one. With Dean still looking in the other direction, the man pulled something out of his jacket pocket and slip something into the drink. Bray couldn't see what it was, but he didn't need to lay eyes on it to know it was some sort of drug. "Don't do it little lamb," Bray muttered under his breath.

"Don't you do it. Don't do it."

Dean slid off the stool, leaving the man before the drink could be offered to him. The guy started to go after him, but stopped when Jey got to Dean first. They exchanged words, Jey seemingly trying to go with Dean but Dean just waving him off. Jey let him go. Foolish man. He did turn back to glare and say something to the other man, who had been about to go after Dean. But still, he was just so foolish. Bray watched Dean carefully, watching as he slipped out the front door. Bray smiled and went on the move. He had done enough watching for one night. It was time to say hello.

* * *

Dean took a deep breath as he stepped outside. He had tried to just relax while he drank. He really did. But the club had gotten entirely too hot, and he hadn't been able to do it. The music had been too loud, the guy bugging him at the bar had been too annoying, he had felt so awkward as the extra wheel to the Usos and Naomi...all of those had helped to feed the anxiety he had felt to begin with. Bray was somewhere close. Maybe even there. And he knew he should have told the others. Keeping it to himself was so stupid. But he was tired of people getting hurt because of him. He couldn't keep doing that. Maybe Seth and Roman were willing to put up with being targets for Bray, but that didn't mean anyone else would be. Being on the road without his boys meant he was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

He stumbled into the nearby alley. He had told Jey he was just going to the bathroom but that had been a bull faced lie. He needed the air instead. But now the booze was hitting him harder than he thought it would. It shouldn't have, considering the fact that he had been falling so fast and hard into his alcoholism. But it was. Maybe it was how fast he had been downing the shots. He hadn't spaced out the drinks very well. He groaned and leaned against the building next to him. His eyes slid shut and he tried to take a deep breath. His chest felt so tight. Too fucking tight. He tried to breathe again. It wasn't letting up. He bit down on his lower lip. His lungs felt like they were being crushed. He started feeling way too hot. It felt like he was cooking from the inside out. His head started feeling incredibly light. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He sank down to his hands and knees. His right hand closed around an empty glass bottle. He squeezed it, trying to ground himself against the cold surface.

"Little lamb?"

Bray's voice snapped him out of it. Dean jumped to his feet and raised the hand holding the bottle. He swung it wildly, looking to hit Bray in the face. Bray dodged the swing easily. He grabbed Dean by the wrist and squeezed, twisting it until the bottle fell from his hand. It shattered against the ground, mixing with Dean's cry.

"Ssshhhhh!" Bray's grip on his wrist lessened just slightly. "Easy now little lamb." He wrapped an arm around Dean's waist to help hold him still. "I don't want to hurt you. I just want to talk to you."

Dean didn't believe him. There was no reason to believe him. He had to get away. Get away before Bray hurt him again. Get away before the tingling on his lips got worse. The after shocks of their last kiss still hadn't left him completely. If they stayed like this, he didn't know what would happen. There had been a spark before. A spark that he knew better than to indulge. But KNOWING he shouldn't do it wasn't the same as NOT doing it. Being trapped between Bray's body and the building behind him was making him weak. The booze in his system was making him weak. No Seth or Roman made him weak. He was weak. So weak.

"Did you like your flowers?" Bray's voice was soft. Gentle. He was actually fucking curious. "Roses are a classic. Or maybe just cliché." He let go of Dean's wrist and ran his finger across Dean's jaw. "Should I have done chocolates? They're a bit more useful than flowers now that I think about it."

"Why are you doing this?" Dean tried to push himself out of Bray's grip. "What's the point? What the fuck are you doing?"

"Isn't this what you want? You've been on this quest for normality. Isn't this the stuff those other two would do for you?"

Roman and Seth actually didn't do flowers, but Dean wasn't announcing that fact. That wasn't really the point. "I can't do this." He swallowed hard and shook his head. "We can't do this."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

"Then why did you come out here?" Bray held him close despite his continued attempts to get away. "You knew I was around. You knew I'd come for you the moment there was an opportunity." He tilted his head to the side and studied Dean carefully. "Why did you present it to me on a silver platter?"

"I didn't..."

"Don't lie to me darlin." Bray's eyes narrowed. "You wanted to draw me out."

"No."

"No?"

Dean shook his head.

"So you haven't been thinking of me since we last met? You haven't thought of that little kiss?"

The bastard. The fucking bastard. Dean's cheeks immediately went red and that was it. He was done. Bray knew he had been doing just that. And maybe Bray hadn't been wrong just now. Maybe there was a part of him that had wanted to actually draw Bray out. _To just know where he is. I don't like having to constantly watch my back. And it's better to get this over with. That's it. No other reason. No other reason in the world._

"I noticed how easy it was for you to get away from your babysitters." Bray unwrapped his arm from Dean's waist but still lingered entirely too close for comfort. "I don't think your boys will be too happy if they found that out." He made a small noise that almost sounded like a chuckle, "Though they did leave you here all alone. They're not doing too good with the watching over you lately either."

"And who's fault is that?" Dean clenched his fists to his sides. "You shot Roman! He can't even walk right because of you!" He tried not to let his voice waver but he didn't quite manage it. "And you stabbed Seth and gave him a fucking concussion. It's fucking your fault!"

"So what are you going to do about it little lamb?" This was rapidly spinning out of control. They could both feel it. Their original intentions for entering this alley didn't matter. It never had. "Are you going to shoot me again?" Bray's voice was starting to rise. "You know what?" He bent down and picked up one of the shards of glass. "Do it." He placed the glass in Dean's hand. "End my misery."

Dean just stared at him.

"Come on!" Bray stretched his arms out. "You know you want to. Just do it. Put me out of my misery. Make me pay for every dirty little thing I've ever done to you. Make sure I burn."

Dean held the glass in his hand. He didn't know what to do. Was it a trick? It had to be a trick. But what if it wasn't? What if this was a genuine offer. He gripped the glass more tightly. He was slicing his hand up all to hell but he didn't care. He could do it right now. End it all right now. It would be deserved. He could say Bray attacked him again. Justify it so easily. It was doubtful anyone would question him. But even with his brain screaming at him to do it, his body didn't move. It refused to do a thing. Instead he just stood there, staring at Bray. Their eyes were locked, neither one of them moving. They weren't even making a sound. The tension was mounting. They had to run. Run away. If he couldn't drive the glass into Bray's heart and end this then he needed to run.

The tension made Bray break first. He let Dean's hands be free in case he wanted to still stab him, instead just grabbing him by the head and kissing him hard. And there it was. A kiss had gotten him in trouble to begin with. It had led him down this terrible path, yet here he was again. Powerless. Weak. All the promises he had made to himself about this matter thrown out the window because of what? Because he was drunk? Or because maybe, just maybe, he couldn't find this utterly primal connection they had. Maybe they were destined to burn and perish together. His mind objected to that, but for the moment, he was too far gone to stop now. His lips were moving against Bray's, returning the kiss. That spark. That fucking spark. This had been everything he had feared. But he couldn't stop it. He fell so easily back into his vices. Drinking again, alienating everyone around him, doing...well THIS-he was sick. He was the one who needed to be put down, even just for his own good. The glass was in his hands. He could slice his own wrist open. Bleeding out in a dirty alley wasn't really a dignified way to go, but it would do the trick.

Bray knocked the glass out of his hand before he could do it. He whimpered and smacked his bloody palm against Bray's face. He still couldn't make it stop. This was bad. So bad. He couldn't do this. Nothing was going to change. Bray Wyatt wasn't a man who changed. But he had lost control of himself. The booze, the spark, the absolute intense feeling of loneliness, the months of coming to the realization that maybe he just wasn't meant to be fixed-it was all crashing down on him. Tears burned his eyes. He tried to block them, but they slipped down his face anyway. He was a mess. A stupid, drunken, sobbing mess. His sobs were swallowed down by Bray, who moved his hands all over his body.

"I love you." Bray barely took his lips off of Dean to say it. "I love you so very much little lamb."

Dean just whimpered.

"I don't want to play games." Bray's hands were all over him, setting his body on fire. His touch was poison but fuck if it didn't feel good at the moment. "I just want you. I want you more than anything in the world."

Dean didn't know whether to believe that one or not. Bray sounded like he was telling the truth. He really did. But playing games was what Bray did. It always had been. He seemingly did not know any other way to operate. Fuck. He couldn't think right now. His hands tugged on Bray's pants. He didn't know what he was doing. Not really. Not anymore. He was just reacting. Bray's kiss and touch was burning through him like fire. He could feel Bray's arousal pushing against him. He pressed himself against it, the shame in doing so not enough to stop right now.

"I need you." The admission from Bray was not helping Dean's fucked up brain. "I need you little lamb. Only you." Bray's lips traveled across Dean's face. "Can I have you?"

No. That was the word Dean tried to say. That was the word the logical part of his brain begged for him to say. But that wasn't what left his mouth.

"Make it hurt."

The words surprised Bray. Dean couldn't keep looking at him though. He didn't want to hurt. Not really. But maybe he needed to. If he was so stupid to invite the devil in his backyard (as Bray liked to say) then he deserved it.

Bray's lips captured his again. His jeans and boxers were ripped away, leaving only his t-shirt and leather jacket on to cover himself. Bray's pants were open, Dean's hand reaching in to pull out his length and stroke it. Neither could really breathe between the kisses. Bray lifted him up and pressed his back against the wall. Dean wrapped his legs around Bray's waist, closing his eyes and tensing up as he felt Bray pressed against him.

"You really want this to hurt little lamb?"

Dean found himself nodding. Of course he did. He was stupid and well that was it really. So stupid.

Bray pushed in, swallowing down Dean's screams. Dean clung to him for dear life, his blood staining the Hawaiian shirt. His world was spinning. His lungs burned but he didn't break his mouth away from Bray's. He just whimpered as he felt Bray start to move in him. Hard and fast, ripping and tearing him apart both inside and out like he had asked. And why had he asked? Because this was what he knew. Because being drunk and utterly alone and mentally on the edge, he couldn't pretend that truly felt like he deserved more than the treatment he had long grown accustomed to. He had been trying to learn better. He wanted to learn better. But it was so hard. It was just so hard and this felt easier. It was easier to let himself be fucked like a two dollar whore in the alley. It was easier to be weak. To be the lamb consumed by the wolf, who was muttering things in his ear. Declarations of love and devotion and talk of how much he needed him. Dean didn't know what to do with that. All he was used to was being told he needed Bray. Yet now the tables had turned. Maybe it was a new trick. A whole new trick or maybe it was true. Maybe Bray did need him, though only god knew why.

The brick of the building rubbed harshly against his shirt and jacket. He squeezed his legs more tightly around Bray, his fingers digging into his shirt. He pulled his mouth away and threw his head back, barely holding back a wild moan. It hurt and it burned, but underneath it the pleasure started to rise. Bray thrust into him faster, one hand moving around Dean's shaft to stroke it roughly. They weren't going to last long. Not after this long apart. Bray thrust in harder and faster, his hand stroking Dean to match his movements. Dean whimpered and closed his eyes, his release roaring through him so intensely he didn't realize he screamed. He felt Bray follow him, his name passing through his lips. His hips pumped until they were both spent, but even after they were done, he didn't bother to pull out. He just stood there, his face buried in Dean's neck and arms locked around him. Dean shuddered, the reality of what he just let happen hit him.

_Stupid. Such a stupid little lamb. _

He shuddered and pressed his mouth to Bray's shoulder to muffle his scream.


	12. Chapter 12

Bray didn't ever want to move. They were still in the alley, Bray holding Dean up against the wall, their bodies still joined together. Dean's mouth was pressed to his shoulder to silence his screams and sobs. His falling apart was breaking the serenity Bray was trying to bask in, but it didn't really upset him. All that loneliness and darkness that rested inside him, combined with the alcohol in his system, made the situation ripe for a breakdown. "Ssshhhh..." Bray pressed soft kisses along the side of his face. "It's alright little lamb. Just calm down."

The screams subsided, but that was as far as the calming down thing went. He still sobbed and now trembled, halfway trying to push Bray away but still clinging to him all the same. He really was a mess. "Just breathe little lamb." He ran his fingers up and down Dean's sides while he looked around to see where he had thrown Dean's jeans and underwear. The jeans were not even a half a foot away, seemingly clean besides a little bit of dirt. His boxers however had flown further, landing in a pile of water and garbage. Definitely not worth salvaging in his opinion.

"It'll be useless to ask you to stay, won't it?"

The question made Dean stiffen. Yeah, it was a useless thing to ask. He didn't know why he even did it. Dean's response stung more than he was going to admit. All he wanted was Dean. Everything else had ceased to matter. His career, his family, the purpose Abigail had given to him, Abigail herself-all of it had fallen away in favor of his feelings for Dean. This love, this obsession-it had consumed him. This wasn't something that either of them could break from. He had tried (admittedly not too terribly hard). Dean had tried really hard and here he was, back in his arms. Their fates were intertwined whether it was liked or not.

"Are you going to tell?"

Dean's question made Bray raise his eyebrows. "Tell?" Bray moved Dean's head back so they were making eye contact. "You think I'm going to tell?"

"You like to gloat." Dean's voice wavered as he tried to take deep breaths.

Okay yeah. Bray did like to do that. There was no denying that one. "I can keep it our little secret." He brought a hand up and lightly ran a finger down the bridge of Dean's nose. "You might want to work on your poker face though. Your boys are going to see right through you otherwise."

Dean completely wilted at the mention of Seth and Roman. Those damn boys who had been working so hard to keep Dean away from him. Who had spent the past several months trying to fix him. All their efforts had just been tossed away without much trouble at all. Dean hung his head in shame. He was never going to willingly tell them. The fear of rejection was going to be even worse than it had been before. It had been one thing when Roman and Seth just hadn't known about their relationship before. But after everything that had happened, there was no way this would go over well at all. Maybe Bray's former prediction of them turning their backs on him for it would perhaps come to pass. The thought of that made it all so tempting to spill the beans. But he couldn't do that. That wasn't going to get him to where he could keep Dean. So he nodded, trying to be reassuring even if he wasn't going to be believed.

Dean's phone went off, startling them both. "Damn it." Bray reluctantly set Dean on his own feet and pulled away so he could grab Dean's jeans. He pulled the phone out of his pocket and saw Naomi's name on the screen. She and the Usos were finally trying to track him down. "Damn it, damn it, damn it." Bray put the phone back in Dean's pocket and handed him his jeans. There was no way Dean was going to answer the call. He was in no condition to act like everything was okay quite yet. "They want you back little lamb."

Dean swallowed nervously and took his jeans back. He slipped them on as quickly as he could, nearly toppling over until Bray grabbed his arm to steady him. He jerked at the contact but Bray didn't let him pull away. He pulled him back in, an arm wrapping around his waist and his hand resting against the small of his back. Dean stared at him with wide eyes.

"I wasn't...I didn't mean..."

"Well you did." Bray didn't say it with the intention to be mean. But it had happened. Not telling Seth or Roman was one thing. But there was no way in hell he was going to just forget or let Dean deny what just happened. "I didn't force you."

Dean looked away. His face flushed in shame. That would be the part that would haunt him. It hadn't taken a whole lot for Bray to get back in. Despite everything that had happened, despite having Seth and Roman's seemingly unwavering support, despite his own vows, he had broken so easily. What he clearly hadn't wanted to admit was that his will was cracked already. He couldn't be the "fixed" creature he wanted to be. No matter what he did, no matter how much his shrink counseled him or how much Seth and Roman coddled him, there was no way to truly achieve it. Like him, Dean had been born into darkness. He had been raised by it. It had molded into him. The light they could stand in wasn't the kind that Seth or Roman or others like them could get to. Their light was from the fire that could burn their enemies and consume them too if they let it. He wanted to say these things. To make Dean understand it. But there wasn't the time to make Dean understand now. The phone was going off again. He could hear one of the Usos yelling in the distance. They had come outside to look for Dean. He had time for so little, so instead of those words he kissed him, trying to pour all those thoughts into the smaller man with just the kiss. Dean whimpered but didn't pull away from the kiss. He let Bray be the one to break it, which made him smile and brush the tip of his nose with his gently.

"I'll be seeing you." Bray reluctantly broke away from the embrace once again and tipped his hat at him before disappearing into the night.

* * *

Dean didn't know how he made it as far as he did before he broke down again.

The walk out of the alley had been one of pure fear and shame. The only saving grace he had was the fact that Jimmy, Jey and Naomi were all so drunk that any perceptive abilities of theirs were greatly diminished. They had asked him why he was outside, and he had managed to mumble some excuse about being too hot and feeling sick. Jimmy had joked about having a heart attack and saying that Roman would have killed them if anything had happened to him. He had hung his head the whole way to the hotel, not wanting to look at any of them. Jey had thought that meant he still was sick and kept trying to help by hovering and shoving an empty Burger King bag in his face for him to throw up in. When they got to the hotel he got the small relief of his trio of babysitters passing out quickly. They all had gathered in one bed, Naomi not wanting Dean to feel uncomfortable by having to share a bed with Jey. He should have told her it didn't matter. He couldn't sleep even if he wanted to. Instead he locked himself in the bathroom, stripping himself of his clothes and getting into the shower. He made the water hotter than even he could stand it. He wanted it to burn him. And burn him it did. The room quickly filled with steam, his skin protesting to the extreme heat raining down on him. That was when he broke. Sobs and screams tore out of him just like they had in the alley. He slapped both hands over his mouth to try to muffle the noise. It seemed to work because nobody came to check on him. Or they were too drunk to wake back up. Whatever. Either was fine. He couldn't afford to have them hear him. As lonely as he felt, and as much as he wanted someone's arms around him to tell him it would be okay, he couldn't afford to have someone drag what had happened out of him. They couldn't know how weak he was. It was bad enough that he was already that way. Having everyone find out would be too much.

The bar of soap was down low enough for him to reach without getting up. He grabbed it and started scrubbing his body furiously. He could barely breathe between the steam and his sobs. His body ached, a glaring reminder of what he just had done. He had let Bray in again. Drunk or not, he should have known better. He knew exactly what Bray was. The wolf. The devil. The man that was his complete and utter undoing. He had cheated on Seth and Roman with the man that had Seth's family kidnapped and had until further notice, ended Roman's career. They were going to hate him now. It was one thing to go back to Bray after that second match with the Wyatts. He had done it to protect Seth's family, which was the same reason Seth had played out the betrayal Bray had blackmailed him into. But this was different. Bray hadn't come in with a piece of blackmail. He hadn't raped him. He had fucking ASKED if he could have him. And Dean had said yes. He had surrendered himself, spreading his legs so fast that even his own mother would have been ashamed of him. Seth and Roman were going to hate him. They really would this time. This didn't feel like a paranoid thought. Bray didn't have to try to drill it into his head. He just felt in his heart that they would really hate him. Why wouldn't they? He hated himself for it. He was weak. He was pathetic. He deserved to have Bray destroy him from the inside out because someone worth anything would have had the sense to not fucking do this shit.

The soap slipped out of his hand. He didn't even try to pick it up. He just sat there, now scratching at his arms. He didn't know what he was going to do. Bray wasn't going to go away. He was there to stay until he died. Dean could have made that happen. Bray had offered him the out. He had blatantly offered it but Dean hadn't been able to take it. He had failed in doing it when they had been under attack, and now he hadn't even been able to try. And why hadn't he been able to do it? What had stopped him? Fear that Bray hadn't meant it? That Bray would have attacked him? Or something else? Something like...like...

Love?

No. No way.

Love.

No. No no no. A thousand times no. There was no way he could love Bray. Maybe he loved the way Bray treated him. It was what he thought he deserved. But that didn't mean he loved the guy. He couldn't have any sort of feelings for him. Not positive ones at least.

_So why couldn't you kill him then?_

Dean grabbed his hair with both hands and nearly yanked chunks of it out. He didn't want to examine any of the reasons. They loomed ominously in front of him, making his stomach twist and turn uncomfortably. He tried to just push them away. But it was easier to want it than it was to do it. He could feel Bray creeping in, sinking into his brain and getting under his skin. It was an itch that would lie in wait to be scratched until Bray came around again. Giving in once opened the door for him to do it again. Even if he swore off drinking and stayed sober, the damage had been done. Bray would think he had a chance. And now that he fucked him yet again, Bray had power over him. He didn't really believe for a second that Bray wouldn't use it to his advantage. Maybe he didn't do it right away, but Dean had to believe it was coming. And he didn't know what he was going to do once it did. He couldn't just tell Roman and Seth what he did. He needed to but the mere thought of admitting it nearly sent him into a fresh, full blown panic attack.

But if he didn't give in, Bray would surely tell them anyway and he would be fucked.

But if gave in to keep Bray silent, it would only increase the power he had over him and he would have to do more to keep him quiet.

No matter how he sliced it, he was just fucked.

"Dean? What the hell are you doing?"

Dean nearly jumped right out of the tub. Jey had cracked open the door to check on him. Either the shower itself or Dean himself had accidentally woken him up. "I'm fine." Dean's voice was hoarse and unfamiliar even to his own ears. "I'm fine just go away."

Jey just eyed him suspiciously. What sleep he had gotten seemed to have sobered him up somewhat. "You're burning your damn skin off." He walked to the shower and shut the water off, hissing as the liquid hit his skin. "God damn dude." He grabbed the nearest towel and held it out for Dean. "Come on. I don't know what you're doing, but you ain't doing it in here."

"Fuck off. I'm fine."

Jey just gave him a look. Dean huffed loudly and wrapped the towel around his waist. He didn't bother to really dry off. He just shook his head to get some of the water out of his hair and stepped out of the shower. His attempting to act like nothing was wrong wasn't really working. He could still feel Jey's eyes on him, the unasked questions hanging heavily in the air. He tried to escape before they were asked. He left the bathroom and put on some clean clothes to sleep in. He used to just sleep in his boxers (if anything) but now he refused. He didn't like waking up first thing in the morning and seeing all the scars Bray put on him.

"Did something happen at the club?" Jey finally just asked. "I mean, I know you said you didn't feel good but..." His voice trailed off and Dean glanced back to see that he was fidgeting around awkwardly. "You don't seem okay man."

"I'm fine." The lie was horrifically unbelievable to his own ears. He tried to hope that it was his guilt that made it sound bad and that he was the only one who could tell. Jey's face showed him that wasn't the case.

"Dude...Bray wasn't like...at the club was he?"

Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it. Dean wilted and looked down at his legs. He couldn't even try to lie now. He wanted to. He really did still want to. But it felt useless. His knee jerk reaction gave him away. Jey's eyes widened, and Dean immediately looked away. Fucking damn it.

"Did he attack you? Why didn't you say anything? Jesus Dean-"

"Sssshhh!" Dean cast a fearful look to the sleeping Naomi and Jimmy. They were still completely passed out thankfully. "I'm fine. Drop it."

Jey wasn't about to listen. "But what happened? Did he drag you outside? Did he try to kidnap you and you got away? You have to talk to me man. We promised Ro we would protect you. If we failed already then we need to do better."

Dean shook his head. He didn't want to lie but he didn't want to tell the truth. What the fuck was he supposed to do? "I-what are you doing?" He felt his stomach turn cold when Jey grabbed his phone.

"Calling Roman and Seth."

"No no no no!" Dean lunged forward and tried to rip the phone out of Jey's hand. "Don't do that. You can't do that! Please don't do that!"

Jey looked completely flabbergasted by Dean's reaction. "They told me to call if he did anything."

"He didn't. He didn't okay? Just don't call them. Please fucking please..." He was falling apart again. Dean could feel himself slipping and spiraling down once again. "Don't make them hate me. Please don't make them please..."

Jey looked completely startled by the plea. He put the phone down though, which was at least something. Dean let out a shaky sigh of relief and sank down on to the empty bed. The silence between them was growing increasingly awkward.

Jey was staring at him, searching for answers. Dean kept his head down, trying his best not to give any more away. It hit him how much his own wording gave him away. Don't make them hate him? Why would they hate him if he was the one attacked? Fucking stupid. Could he really do nothing right? He stole a look at Jey, praying to all the gods he didn't believe in that he would be spared from any more questions. Jey kept staring at him, Dean's slip of the tongue not lost on him at all. The awkwardness of the silence grew as Jey's internal debate raged on.

"We need to get some sleep." Jey finally settled for letting the subject go. He wasn't fooled for an instant, but they were both clearly running down the path of pretending he was. "You going to be okay over there?"

_No._ "Yeah."

Jey let it go at that, settling back in bed with Naomi and Jimmy. Dean rolled over to the other side of his bed, pulling the covers over his head and curling up into a ball. He closed his eyes and tried to just go to sleep. The moment his eyes went shut he found himself back in the alley. His back was pressed against that wall with Bray all over him, not making a single move to stop him.

_"Can I have you?"_

_"Make it hurt."_

Dean's eyes snapped back open.

This was going to be a long night.


	13. Chapter 13

"You know we should talk to Roman about this."

Jey didn't need Naomi to remind him of that yet again. They were at the arena getting ready for the Smackdown taping. He and Jimmy had to face the Ascension while Naomi was wrestling Nikki Bella. The most troubling bit of news though, was Dean's announced match for the live Main Event against Rusev. The Bulgarian Brute had been on an absolute rampage, destroying everyone in his path. Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Big Show, Mark Henry, Sheamus-everyone that got in his way was put down violently. And they had all been at the top of their game, which was something Dean definitely was not. He had been getting by so far, but that was honestly because he had either been competing in six man tags, or facing people who felt sorry for him based on what he had been through and had gone easier on him because of it. Rusev was not about to do that. And add in the fact that he was in worse shape because of whatever had happened in that club, and they were in a really dangerous situation. Jey wanted to get Dean pulled from the match completely. Jimmy thought they needed to make Dean straighten up and deal with everything that was going on. And Naomi was still on the calling Roman train so he and Seth could help them deal with it.

"Is anyone going to listen to me?" Naomi was losing her patience. She had her hands on her hips, her brown eyes narrowed at Jimmy and Jey. Dean sitting across the room with AJ, Big E, Renee, Brie and Dolph. He was keeping to himself, despite Brie and Renee's efforts to draw him out of his shell.

"He begged me not to call them," Jey reminded her. "You really think we should betray his trust right now?"

"We can't keep this kind of stuff from Roman and Seth!" she argued right back. "If Bray's trying to get at him then we have to tell them."

It wasn't that she was wrong. Jey knew damn well that she was completely right. But she hadn't seen Dean the way he had. Drunk and pleading for him to keep the secret, terrified that Roman and Seth would reject him if they found out the truth. Something about the situation wasn't adding up. Roman and Seth knew what Bray had done to Dean. They knew it wasn't Dean's fault. So why had he been so convinced that they would hate him?

"I'm gonna say something and I need you two to hear me out," Jimmy announced. He glanced around to make sure nobody else was coming too close to listen in. "What if Bray didn't attack him?"

Naomi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What if whatever happened was something he let happen?"

Jey's eyes widened. His first instinct was to say no. There was no way that could be the case. But before the words left him, the way Dean had acted last night crossed his mind once again. He had been in such a panic about the situation. The reaction gave Jimmy's statement a lot more weight.

"Babe come on." Naomi was the one to try to argue. "Why would he do that? He don't have any reason to let Bray do shit to him."

"I know he don't. But that don't mean shit." Jimmy gave the unsuspecting Dean a look and a shake of the head. "Look, I know we all care about the guy. But that don't mean we can just forget that he's got some poor decision making skills. We were all drunk as shit last night. Roman says he hasn't been doing too well...I mean come on. Add in how he was acting with Jey and it all fits. It's the only thing that makes sense."

Naomi's face fell. She didn't want to believe him. But like Jey before her, she was realizing that his logic was a little too sound. "Oh god..." She rubbed her hands over her face and took a deep breath. "We still have to tell Roman and Seth. we can't let them sit in the dark." She cast a nervous glance around. "Bray could be planning to keep working on him. If he got him to give in once, he could do it again if Dean stays weak for him. They got to make him strong again."

Jimmy shook his head. "How much can they really do? I mean, they can do all they want, but sooner or later, it's got to be up to him to actually stay away from Bray. He's got to stop being self-destructive."

"You say that like it's easy." Jey knew Jimmy had a good point, but he was looking at it from a pure outsider's perspective. He wasn't Dean. He couldn't understand what Dean was going through. None of them could. "There's no way this is easy for him."

"I never said it was. But come on bro. We can only help him if he truly actually wants it. And I'm not sure if he actually does or just wants to think he does."

"Jesus," Naomi muttered and pinched the bridge of her nose. "What the hell are we actually supposed to do?"

"Maybe we should talk to him ourselves," Jey suggested. "He's too scared to face it with Roman and Seth. Maybe we should step up and do more than just babysit."

Jimmy didn't exactly look convinced on the matter. A look from Naomi kept him silent though. Jey took that victory and went over to Dean, trying to figure out the best way to actually go about talking to him. Obviously it couldn't be that very second. Maybe he shouldn't even do it at all before the show. Dean needed to get his head in the game enough to survive Rusev. But afterwards he could. He could maybe get Dean alone somewhere and try to talk to him. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he had to try something. Roman and Seth were going to lose him completely if more wasn't done.

"We are NOT watching a movie about Abe Lincoln killing vampires!" AJ declared as Jey sat down between Dean and Dolph. The divas champion was sitting on Big E's lap, cradling her title with one hand while playing with the hand of her former bodyguard with the other. Despite having gone their ways a long time ago, there was still some affection between the two. "I don't care what you people say. That is just not happening."

"But it's awesome!" Dolph argued. He looked to Brie for support. "Back me up here."

"It's totally awesome," she agreed. "Dean has to watch it."

Dean shook his head. "I don't like scary shit."

Big E smirked. "It's freaking Abe Lincoln killing vampires. There's no way it's scary. Just stupid."

"Stupid can be good." Jey decided to throw his two cents in. "I need a break from all the serious. Freaking Jimmy has me watching Game of Thrones lately. I can't handle more of that shit."

Dean didn't exactly look convinced. He wasn't offering a fight though. He just looked down at his hands, which were incessantly wringing together. Jey frowned. He almost grabbed them to make him stop. He restrained himself though, not wanting to freak Dean out with the sudden movement.

"You want us to come out with you later?" Jey decided to settle on asking that. "Or at least send Naomi out so she can like, punch Lana or something?"

Dean shook his head.

"You sure?"

"I got it." Dean didn't even sound like he believed his own words. But he was a far, far too stubborn man to admit he wasn't actually ready for a match. "I"m not fucking scared of Rusev."

That much was true at least. "Just be careful out there, alright?"

"I make no promises."

* * *

If there was one thing WWE was horrible at, it was actually having a security system in place that was worth a damn. Not only had Bray had gotten into the building, but Harper and Rowan had as well. The two of them had left the compound to hunt him down, knowing full well where he was going to be. They wanted to bring him home. He knew that without them having to say it. He saw it in their eyes. But he wasn't about to go anywhere. Not this moment anyway. He wanted to see the show. He wanted to stay near Dean until it was time for him to go back to Seth and Roman. Then he would go back home. He would be the leader they needed him to be until it was time to hit the road again.

"Kettle corn?" He held up the bag he managed to steal from the concession stands. They were in the shadows by the crowd, standing where they had a perfect view of the ring. He hadn't been paying too much attention to the show. He was really just waiting for Dean's match.

Luke just stared at him. Erick though, moved his lamb mask up and grabbed an entire handful of the kettle corn for himself. Bray smirked as he ate it and tried to offer some to Luke again.

"No."

"Just eat a little."

Luke scowled and waved him away.

"Suit yourself." Bray put a handful into his mouth and returned his eyes toward the ring. He was in too good of a mood to let Luke's grouchy nature affect him. Not after what happened last night. Last night had been perfect. Despite everyone trying to get in his way, Dean had let him in once again. Sure he had been drunk, but Bray was willing to take it. It was a good starting point at least.

"Are we just here to watch the match, or do we have to follow him around the rest of the night?"

Bray raised his eyebrows at Luke's question. "Nobody said you had to be here."

"We need you at home."

"Is anyone in trouble there?"

"They miss you. Dean doesn't. He wants nothing to do with you."

"He wasn't singing that tune last night." The words slipped out of Bray's mouth before he really thought about what he was saying. He couldn't help it though. The way Harper had said that last part had dug under his skin. He wanted to just shut him up on the matter. "I'm not abandoning any of you. Being on the road to watch over him will be no different than being on the road to wrestle."

Luke didn't look really convinced on that one. There wasn't time to keep arguing the matter though. Dean's music hit, which made Bray perk up. This was what he had been waiting for. He whipped his head around in every direction, a smile crossing his face as he saw Dean coming down the stairs not even ten feet away from him. He still wore his Shield gear, despite being the only one of them keeping the group alive. His expression was set in a determined scowl, his hands clenched tightly into fists. Halfway down the stairs he stopped and looked around. Even though he couldn't be seen, Bray knew he had just been sensed. He could see it in those blue eyes.

"Your boy is facing Rusev." Luke's voice redirected Bray's attention back to him. "Rusev's impressive. Hasn't lost yet. I think your boy is in serious trouble."

"You'd love that wouldn't you?" Bray glared at Luke. The gaze cowed the other man just a little, though not as much as he would have liked.

Harper's lips twitched into a start of a smile. Bray's eyes narrowed and they stared at each other, unaware that Rusev was coming out until Rowan urgently slapped his hands against their chests.

"What?" Luke asked sharply. "What is it?"

Rowan raised the sheep mask and pointed to Lana. "Pretty girl."

Luke just stared at him incredulously. Rowan shrugged and lowered his mask back down. Bray took a moment to consider Rowan's observation before laughing and squeezing the back of his neck affectionately. "Yes she is Erick. Yes she is."

* * *

"Come on Dean. You got this. You fucking got this."

Roman stayed silent as Seth continued his muttered mantra. They were in their living room, eyes fixated on the TV. The bell had just rang to start the match. Dean and Rusev were circling each other, neither quite going for the lock up just yet. Roman was laying back on the couch with his arms wrapped around himself. Seth was leaning forward in the chair, ready to jump to his feet at a moment's notice. The tension in the room was nearly unbearable. Both of them had tried to call Dean so they could talk strategy with him. Even if they were far away, they didn't want him to feel like he had been abandoned. But he hadn't answered their calls, and now they could both tell that he had no real plan for this match. It wasn't a fact that surprised Roman. Dean was never one that liked to make plans for his matches. He liked to just go in there and do everything in the moment. He was more comfortable with kicking and scratching and clawing his way to victory.

"Use your speed Dean. Just use your speed." Seth was talking like Dean could somehow hear him. "You're faster than him. Don't let him catch you."

Roman let out a groan as Dean immediately just rushed Rusev. The fists flew wildly, which did throw the brute off guard. It wasn't an advantage that lasted long. Rusev shoved him off and nearly took his head off with a clothesline. "Damn it," he muttered. He winced as Rusev literally threw Dean into the corner and started rapidly driving his shoulder into Dean's stomach. Dean was a better wrestler than Rusev. He firmly believed that. But Rusev was stronger and ruthless, which was taking him far.

"He's fucking quicker than him!" Seth was nearly tugging his own hair out in frustration. "Why won't he use that?"

"He-oh there we go!" Rusev had backed off and tried to rush back in drive his shoulder into Dean's stomach yet again. Dean moved out of the way just in time, resulting in Rusev flying into the steel post shoulder first. "Get him Dean!" Roman knew this was dumb. Dean had no way of hearing him. But Roman couldn't help but cheer along with Seth anyway.

"That's it! Come on!" Seth clapped his hands in satisfaction. "Come on Dean!"

Dean pulled Rusev back and ran his shoulder into the post again. Lana was yelling and cursing at Dean, making Dean take just a moment to flip her off. There was a lecture from Vince right there. Dean pulled Rusev back out of the corner and rolled him up. Rusev kicked out. Dean growled and stayed on the offensive side of things. There was something off in his movements. It wasn't something the fans or even the announcers could pick up on. Only Seth and Roman could because they knew him so well. They knew that look in his eyes. Something was on his mind. It was distracting him, which was going to cost him if he didn't shake it off soon.

The fight went outside the ring things thanks to a clothesline over the top rope and a suicide dive. Roman chewed on his lower lip as he and Seth kept watching. Rusev's shoulder was hurting him, which helped Dean until he made the mistake of starting to take apart the announcer's table. He thought he had Rusev down by the barricade. Seth and Roman did too. But when Dean went towards him, they found out how wrong they were. Rusev popped up to his feet and blindly hit a desperate superkick. His foot connected with Dean's throat and Dean crashed to the ground in a heap.

"SHIT!" Seth's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as Dean writhed and held his hands over his throat. "Shit shit shit!"

That summed the situation up perfectly. Dean could be heard gasping for breath. The referee was trying to check on him, but Rusev wasn't having it. He shoved the ref away and went back on the attack. He wrapped both of his hands around Dean's neck and started slamming the back of his head into the floor. Roman felt himself start to shake in anger. He wanted to reach through the screen and yank Rusev off of Dean by the hair. He wanted to shove his fist so far down his throat that he shit out his own teeth. He wanted to kill Rusev, but all he could do was sit there. Powerless. Useless. Fucking begging for someone to save Dean. He didn't care who it was. Someone had to get in there and stop this.

* * *

"Don't you dare! BRAY!"

Luke's words meant little to Bray as he moved. He had felt the kick to his throat like it had been his own. The continued assault had him seeing red. He moved from the shadows, barely hearing the roar of the crowd as they realized he was coming. More referees were trying to pull Rusev off, all of them failing in spectacular fashion. He didn't see Bray coming over the barricade. Lana screamed a warning, but by the time he looked up, it was too late. Bray crashed into him, taking him right down. His fists flew furiously now. Both the crowd and the announcers roared in confusion. He could feel Dean's eyes on him, but he didn't stop his attack to look back at him. Dean was his. His to love, his to hurt, his to protect, his to destroy...Rusev didn't get to do what he was doing. He didn't have the right.

Hands grabbed at him, trying to pull him away. He snarled and attacked the security guards they belonged to. Dean was still on the floor, struggling to breathe. The Usos, Naomi and Stephanie McMahon were running down the ramp, clearly looking to get Dean away from him. Harper and Rowan were coming over the barricade, though their purpose was a little less clear. Would loyalty to him win out and they would help him despite how they felt about Dean? Or were they there to help take him away from Dean? He didn't want to find out.

"Bray!" Stephanie's screech was far reaching indeed. "Get away from him!"

Bray wasn't about to listen. He scooped Dean up in his arms, snarling and spitting at the security guards who dared to come too close. He caught a look of disbelief and possible disgust on Harper's face, but there was no time to dwell on it. The Usos were coming, the meddlesome duo running straight into a clothesline from Erick. Bray wasn't sure if the move was done because Rowan was actually trying to help him, or if he just couldn't resist the instinct to knock the Usos on their ass. Either way, he was grateful. Shrugging off security and ignoring Stephanie's and Naomi's shouting, he kissed Dean on the side of the head and took back off through the crowd. "It's alright little lamb." He kissed Dean again, this time on the cheek. He didn't care who saw. In his mind, even with the fact that he was running so nobody could catch him, the world around them didn't exist anymore. "I got you."

Dean just dropped his head against Bray's shoulder. He was only half conscious and still struggling to really breathe. Bray tightened his grip on him and kept moving. He wasn't entirely sure where he was going, but he would figure it out. He always did.


	14. Chapter 14

"What the fuck do you mean you don't know where they are?" Seth's voice rose an entire octave as the question flew out of his mouth. He and Roman had watched in horror as Bray fucking Wyatt of all people had saved Dean from Rusev. And to top it all off Bray had not only run off with Dean, but apparently nobody had been able to stop him before he got out of the building. That bit of information absolutely infuriated Seth. They had promised to keep Dean safe. They had fucking promised but had they been able to keep their word? No. Fucking Bray had him yet again. Seth was absolutely furious. He wanted to scream and punch something but he couldn't. He had to keep it together. Roman was already punching anything he could get to, which was not actually helping their situation.

"We tried to fucking get out there." They were on speaker phone with Jimmy and Jey. Jimmy was the one currently talking. "Rowan-"

"I saw what Rowan did," Seth snapped. He had seen the double clothesline that had taken the Usos down. He had watched as Harper and Rowan had to fight their way past everyone to make their own escape. Seth had no idea if they had gotten caught once the cameras went off. He didn't care. Bray was what he cared about. He needed them to track down Dean so he could kill him. "Where the fuck is Stephanie? She fucking promised us she'd have extra security. She swore to us he wouldn't get in the building!"

"She-"

"Her promises are bullshit!" Seth cut Jey off before he could finish. "She doesn't get it! None of you get it! You don't get what it takes to stop Bray Wyatt."

"And you guys do?" Jimmy's voice was sharp. He wasn't appreciating Seth yelling at him. "You think you really do?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Roman managed to get himself back to the chair and plopped down right next to Seth.

"It doesn't mean anything," Jey said quickly. "We're going to find Dean okay? We'll bring him home in one piece."

Seth wanted to believe that promise. He really did. But Jimmy and Jey didn't get it. They could say they did, but they really didn't. Every moment that Dean was with Bray was dangerous. Bray was poison for Dean. Even if he didn't hurt him physically, he would certainly take advantage and pick Dean apart mentally and emotionally. He had done it before. There was no reason to think he wouldn't again. And Dean didn't need that. He was trying to get better. He was trying to break away from his self-destructive habits. He just needed a break. Seth didn't understand why Dean just couldn't get a true break. It wasn't fair. He had been through so much. Too god damn much. Yet here was more shit that he had to go through. Seth didn't know how much more Dean could take. He really didn't.

"We're going to go alright?" Jey still had control of the conversation from his end. Jimmy had started to say something, but there had been a brief sound of a struggle, and if Seth had to guess, Jimmy had surely ate an elbow to the gut in the process. "We'll call you when we find him."

Seth wasn't okay with that. He wasn't okay with just sitting there and waiting for some kind of news. He knew Roman felt the same way. They felt so useless sitting there. They wanted to help. But there was nothing they could do. Not from where they were. There was no choice but to sit there and wait.

They hung up the phone and just sat there in a tense silence. Roman drummed his fingers against the arm of the chair, his body nearly shaking. Seth knew he wanted to get up and be able to freely pace about. But he couldn't. His ability to walk was still so hampered. There was the very real possibility that he would never get to the point that he could ever wrestle again. And that was all because of Bray. Seth hated him for everything he had done to them. He fucking hated him with every ounce of his  
being.

"He'll be okay." Roman broke the silence. He wrapped an arm around Seth and squeezed him tightly. "They'll find him. He'll come back to us."

Seth didn't know how Roman could sound so sure of himself. He didn't even think Roman believed his own words. He was just trying to make him feel better. It wasn't really working though. Seth was torn between wanting to scream and wanting to be sick. Maybe he would just do both. At least then he would be doing something, even if it was still useless.

"Look at me." Roman grabbed Seth by the chin and forced him to turn his head. "Babe look at me."

Seth looked, swallowing hard as his eyes met Roman's. Grey eyes pleaded with him to believe his words. Seth understood that in that moment that Roman needed him to believe because he couldn't take the complete loss of hope at the moment. Even for someone as strong as he was there was only so much even Roman could take. Roman needed him to be strong.

"He'll be okay," Roman repeated. He was trying to convince the both of them really. "We'll get through this."

Seth just nodded. They couldn't let Bray win. They had to get through this and win. They had to do it even if it was the last thing they ever did.

* * *

Dean's head and throat seemed to throb in time with the wheels of the car as they turned. He hadn't really been fully conscious when Bray had carried him out of the building. He hadn't even been fully conscious when Bray had stopped somewhere and bought two frozen bags of peas to use as ice packs. But now that he was awake, he wished that he wasn't. The pain was not only worse, but now his anxiety was spiking through the roof. He had no idea where Bray was taking him. He had no idea where he even fucking was now. They hadn't passed a sign yet to give him a clue. He thought about asking but the words wouldn't come out. He wasn't sure if he really wanted the answer. So he just sat there, his eyes shifting back and forth from the window to Bray's 's gaze was directed strictly to the road. The moonlight streamed in from the window, giving him a rather eerie glow. He hummed along to the radio, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in time with the beat. There was a hint of a smile on his face. It was like there was nothing remotely wrong in his world. And maybe there wasn't. Dean was there with him. That was what he always said he wanted. But that had never been enough before. He always had to twist everything and poke where it hurt the most. He had to break Dean down and build him into the image he wanted. Dean knew he wasn't much good at relationships, but Bray was terrifyingly bad. He was selfish. Cruel when it suited him. He had tried to kill Dean on more than one occasion. Yet here he sat, not jumping out of the car to get away. He wanted to blame the blow to the head. He wanted that to be the case. But he knew it wasn't. Not with what had happened the night before.

His face flushed at the memory. There was an unmistakable pull he felt to Bray. He didn't want to feel it. He thought he had been over it. After fucking everything that had happened, this was the last thing he should have been feeling. But feeling or doing what he was supposed to had never been his strong suit. He liked things that were bad for him. Drugs, alcohol, death matches, toxic relationships-anything that would cause him some kind of pain, whether it be physical or emotional. He had never felt like he deserved better. And even with Seth and Roman's support, even with therapy, even with waking up in the morning and telling himself that he deserved more, it was still so hard to really embrace that way of thinking. He didn't feel worthy of it. He didn't feel like he contributed anything to his relationship with Seth and Roman. They needed a partner who could give back to them like they did each other. Not the broken shell who needed more than he could give. With Bray that was fine. All he had to do in this relationship was be there and give in. For all the pain that came with Bray, there were things that were easier with him. He didn't have to fight what he secretly felt like was a losing battle to be fixed. It was okay to be broken with Bray. Bray liked it that way. Dean could be the shell of a man he always had been and still not be alone. There was comfort in that thought. And when he didn't fight it, things could sort of be okay between them.

_What the fuck are you even thinking? Look at you. Being so fucking weak. Pathetic. No wonder Bray runs all over you. You're so god damn weak and stupid. _

He bit down on his lower lip and looked down. He really was all those things. Stupid, weak, pathetic...even when he tried to change, he fell back into this trap. Fuck. He wrapped his arms around himself and squeezed tightly. He needed Seth and Roman. He needed them to feel strong. He tried to do it on his own. He really did. But when he didn't really believe it, he had to leech off of their belief in him. And that belief would surely be shattered if they found out he fucked Bray again. How couldn't it be? He just threw away all their efforts to help him. He disregarded the pain Bray had caused them. And for what? A dirty fuck in an alley? The chance to go through all the pain and torment that he had been through before? Bray was controlling on their best days. On their worst he'd be the death of him.

"Don't think so hard little lamb." Bray's voice jarred Dean from his thoughts. He took one hand off the wheel and grabbed Dean's hand. He laced their fingers together and squeezed tightly. Dean instinctively tried to pull away but Bray didn't let go. Instead he pulled Dean's hand towards his mouth and kissed the back of it. "You're going to make your head hurt more."

Dean tried to pull his hand away again. "Where are we going?"

Bray shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I didn't exactly expect to have to make a big rescue," Bray said in his defense.

"You really weren't planning on dragging me back to a hotel room or something?"

"Well I could get us a hotel room if you want..."

"No!" Dean shook his head and finally got his hand back from Bray. "Jesus no."

Bray raised his eyebrows and chuckled in lieu of saying anything.

"I need to go back." Dean shifted around in his seat as his eyes stared up ahead for a sign. He still had no idea where he was. "Turn around."

"No."

Dean gulped. That answer didn't surprise him. "Bray don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything." Bray sounded both amused and offended by Dean's statement at the same time. "We're just going for a drive."

"To where?" Dean tried not to jump right into hysterics, but it was starting to get hard already. "Bray where the fuck are we going?"

"Are you scared little lamb?"

"Considering that you have a history of kidnapping me? Yeah. I fucking am."

Bray shook his head. "I'm not kidnapping you. I'll give you back to the brute and the rat. Just uh...not now."

Dean groaned and ran his hands over his face. The bag of peas that had been resting against his throat fell to his lap and he quickly knocked it down to the floor because it was cold. "Bray god damn it. We can't do this again." He swallowed hard, wincing at the pain that flared up because of it. "This doesn't work. We don't work. We never did."

"We did once," Bray argued. "We could again."

"No! We can't. You know we can't."

"Because you won't let us."

"Don't fucking put this on me! It's not just me who's the fucking problem here!" Dean took the other bag of peas out from behind his head and threw them down. "Not after everything you've done to me." His voice cracked as he said the last four words. He tried to mask it, but it was there, plain as day. His pain, his weakness-it was all swimming together and making his chest hurt now too. "We...we can't work. We fuck each other up."

"And what if it were different?" Bray reached forward and turned off the radio. Dean wished he hadn't. The abscence of the radio made the silence around them seem more ominous. "You know you're never going to be fully connected to your boys."

"Stop." Dean's voice was weak. He tried to make it strong. He didn't want to be weak. He couldn't let himself be weak. "Don't start that."

"I'm not saying it to hurt you." Bray wasn't one to just stop. Talking was like breathing to him. "Or to manipulate you. I'm just stating a fact. I've watched you since you woke up. I've seen you struggle with what they want you to be. They want the darkness out of you completely. They don't understand that it's engrained in you. You were raised in it. Molded by it. The light of the moon is more suited for you rather than the light of the sun."

"So I'm fucked," Dean summarized. He brought his hand up to his shoulder and began to rub at it. "That's what you're telling me."

"You could learn to embrace it," Bray suggested. "You see the darkness as a prison. It doesn't have to be. The night isn't just full of terrors. It can hold the keys to freedom."  
"Freedom huh?" Dean didn't really bother to hide his disbelief. "How do you figure that?"

"You don't have to pretend to be something you're not. You don't have to be scared of tainting the ones around you. The ones around you will understand and not be scared. They know the kind of pain you've been through. They know the evils of the world."

"And me being in the dark makes it easier for you to step in." Dean wasn't fooled. Not on this one. "Maybe you're not wrong, but fucking don't pretend you're saying any of this for my own good."

"And who says I'm pretending on that?" Bray asked. "Maybe I'm tired of seeing you suffer."

Dean almost started laughing right then and there. After everything they had gone through, that statement was just so absurd to hear. "You're not that selfless. You never have been." He dug his fingers into his jeans, gripping the denim tightly."We can't fucking do this. You've raped me and tried to kill me. I've turned you into this obsessive monster and nearly killed you. We got to stop this."

"And do what? You live with your boys, trapped in expectations that you can't meet?" Bray's grip on the steering wheel tightened. He pulled over to the side of the road, making Dean's stomach drop. Being in a car with Bray on an empty highway in the dead of night while he was rapidly getting angrier? Disaster was written all over this. Dean's hand immediately went to the door handle, making Bray reach over to grab him by the collar. "You know I can't stay away. I've tried. But everything in me screams for you. My body, my mind, my soul-you're in every inch of me." His free hand moved to rest over Dean's chest. "This fire that burns inside of you, it calls to me. All your rage, all your anger. I understand it. It's burned inside me too."

"So we what? Burn together?" Dean shifted around nervously.

"An eternal flame."

"Or it just leaves us a pile of fucking ashes."

Bray shrugged, not terribly bothered by Dean's negativity. "Sometimes that's the only ending that's possible." He gestured back and forth between them. "People like us don't always get happy endings wrapped up in a little bow. If this fire burns us then it'll burn. We can't stop it." He leaned in close, putting his face just inches from Dean's. "If you're the death of me then I'll take it."

The hairs on the back of Dean's neck stood straight up. Bray was too close. Too fucking close. Their lips hadn't even touched yet but that telltale spark was starting up already. Maybe the fire Bray described was why he couldn't stay away. He wasn't meant to be fixed. He was meant to self-destruct, and this fucked up relationship with Bray was final fire that would put him out. "You're fucking insane." His voice was barely above a whisper. His mouth felt so very dry. "You need help."

"I need you."

Dean tried to object. The words started to come out but Bray didn't let him finish. He closed the distance, his lips attacking Dean's eagerly. Dean's reaction was completely torn. His hands went to Bray's chest, trying to push him away while his lips automatically responded to the kiss. His head was spinning. He didn't know what to do. What if he really never found true peace with Seth and Roman? What if the three of them were really just fooling themselves on the matter? But Bray wasn't the answer either. Not a good one at least. Maybe he was more capable of understanding him than Seth and Roman, but he was far more selfishly motivated and that was on his best days. He was a bigger egomaniac than Dean, Seth and Roman combined on any day, and on his worst he was absolutely deadly. Every way he turned seemed like a dead end. It made him want to scream.

Bray's hand slipped under Dean's shirt. His fingers drifting freely over his heated skin made Dean jump. His lungs burned, aching for the air Bray wasn't allowing him to have. His head was spinning. It was spinning right out of control, just like this situation. He had to stop. He tried to just pull away but Bray yanked him back to him. They were on the move, tumbling for the backseat. A sudden rush of fear filled Dean. The memory of the last time they were in the backseat of a car hit him in full force. Bray had been seized by a fit of madness that day, nearly wrecking the car before injuring Dean's hand and raping him in the backseat. Dean's stomach turned and his mind spun into a panic. Bray's hands on his body was too much. His weight on top of him was too much. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He had to make it stop. His mind kept replaying that incident over and over again. He could feel the pain he had felt. He could taste his own fear and it made him want to throw up.

"No," he managed to croak out. His voice wouldn't work right despite his desire to scream. "No no no." He pushed against Bray desperately. "Don't. Fucking don't."

"I'm not going to hurt you little lamb," Bray said as his lips moved to Dean's neck.

"Bray please!" Panic settled in now. His breaths were short and erratic, the car growing increasingly hot. "Don't. Please don't." The pleas were falling out of his mouth so fast he could barely even understand himself. "Don't please please Bray don't..."

Bray's movements stilled. Dean closed his eyes, not wanting to see the anger that would surely be on Bray's face. He braced himself, waiting for Bray to start back up and do what he wanted anyway. All he felt though was a kiss to his forehead. Then Bray's weight was gone, leaving him shocked. He kept his eyes closed still, expecting it to be a trick. It wasn't until the car started and they were on the road again that he opened his eyes. Bray was driving, the radio back on to break any silence. Dean let out a shaky sigh of relief. He still didn't know where he was being taken, but that didn't matter as much. The shock of Bray taking no for an answer was primarily on his mind. He didn't understand. Had putting a bullet in Bray's head changed him, or was it just a ploy to get Dean to trust him? To be more willing to fall back into his arms later? He didn't know. He couldn't bring himself to care at the moment. Instead he just put his hands over his face and let the relief of the reprieve wash over him.


	15. Chapter 15

The only sounded in the pick-up truck was the constantly changing songs on the radio. Erick kept changing it every five seconds, not satisfied with anything that came pouring out of the speakers. Luke had to bite his tongue and grip the steering wheel extra tight to keep himself from snapping. Yelling at Erick would only make him feel better for the short term. It wouldn't fix any of their problems. It wouldn't find Bray for them. It wouldn't get rid of Ambrose. Just driving around wouldn't get them anywhere either. Neither of them had any idea where Bray would be taking Dean now. The new compound wasn't a likely option. Bray knew how they felt about his obsession with Dean. The thought of Bray taking Dean back to the old compound was one entertained, but Luke didn't find it likely. People would be looking for Dean. Rollins and Reigns would be able to tell the cops where the old compound was, meaning it wouldn't stay safe for long. That left any destination for Bray to be a mystery. But that was fine. Luke had a new idea. One that would get Dean's attention and make him come straight to them. And then he would end this. Bray had failed. Erick had failed. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. The madness had to stop.

The change of the radio stations became faster. Erick pushed the buttons over and over, not even listening to what song would start to play from each station. Luke tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He was not going to punch Erick in the face. He wasn't going to do it. He had to keep his temper in check, even if it was killing him to do it. But Erick wasn't stopping. Press the button. Different song. Press the button. Different song.

Luke couldn't kill him.

He shouldn't kill him.

Press the button. Different fucking song.

Luke was going to fucking murder him.

"Would you stop?" Spit flew past Luke's lips as he snarled. One hand came off the steering wheel and smacked Rowan across his face. The impact was so hard he knocked the sheep's mask right off him. Rowan's head rocked with the blow but no sound left his mouth. His gaze snapped back at Luke, who glared right back at him. "That's enough." Luke angrily shut the radio off completely. "If you can't be useful then just sit."

Erick just stared at him, eyes blazing in anger. Luke didn't care. He got the silence he had been craving. His hand returned to the wheel and he focused his eyes on the road up ahead. The only car around them was one a ways up ahead; it could barely be seen even with their headlights. Everyone back at the arena had focused more on trying to catch Bray that they had managed to slip away from the chaos. Luke was thankful for that. By the time anyone potentially started caring where he and Erick were, they would be far enough gone not to have them guess where they were going.

"Where are we going?" Erick finally asked. His voice was gruff, his desire to strike back at Luke along with his reluctance to speak very evident.

"Florida," Luke replied.

Erick stared at him, the next question going unasked. Luke knew what he was thinking though. He almost always did.

"If Dean wants to take Bray away from us, then we'll take his boys. Lead the rat into a trap." Luke felt a smile cross his face as he said it out loud. "He won't be able to resist." His smile grew bigger, his eyes lighting up with a maniacal glee. "And then we'll get rid of him. Take him away and make Bray ours again."

Erick accepted the answer. He accepted pretty much everything Luke told him, so it wasn't like that was a surprise. They rode in silence, the grin not leaving Luke's face the whole while. In his head, there was no way the plan wouldn't work. He couldn't let it fail. He wouldn't. He would save his family and burn Ambrose and everyone he loved to the ground.

* * *

It was nearly midnight by the time Bray finally stopped driving. He checked them into a cheap motel, dragging Dean in by the wrist so he couldn't try to run off. There was an ongoing disagreement of this being a kidnapping. Dean saw it as one, while Bray figured if he (albeit reluctantly) let Dean go in the morning, it could technically be called borrowing instead of kidnapping. When they got to the room Bray ripped the phone off the hook and threw it outside, not giving Dean the chance to call Seth or Roman or the Usos. The move got him a death glare, but he hadn't cared. He just wanted Dean to himself. Maybe that was asking too much, but he didn't care. He had him and wasn't giving him up quite yet.

Dean sat down at the table by the window. He looked absolutely exhausted, but it was pretty clear he had no plans to sleep. Not if he could help it anyway. He didn't trust Bray to leave himself in such a vulnerable position. The lack of trust didn't really bother Bray. Neither did the silence. He just kicked back on the only bed in the room (the receptionist had claimed there were no rooms with two beds available, much to Dean's chagrin), and kept his eyes trained on Dean. Dean tried to just ignore him at first. He looked down at his lap before moving his gaze to the wall. He continuously wrung his hands together while he tapped his feet against the floor. His teeth kept biting down on his lower lip, gnawing away until he drew blood. Bray thought about making him stop, but decided against it. He just kept watching him instead, waiting for him to say or do something first.

"Quit fucking staring at me." Dean finally had to crack and break the silence. It was the first time he had really spoken since he had freaked out in the backseat of the car.

"Is it bothering you?" Bray rested his hands over his stomach, lacing his fingers together. He knew the answer to the question already. He just had to ask anyway. He needed the response.

"Turn on the TV or something." Dean shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "You don't have to fucking keep staring."

But he did. That was what Dean didn't understand. Bray couldn't help but watch him. Everything about Dean fascinated him. The simplest of movements cast a spell on him, pulling him further down the proverbial rabbit hole. He had to wonder if there was ever going to be a bottom to the damn thing. One would think there had to be, but Bray didn't see one in sight.

"Just turn on the fucking TV." Dean still tried to avoid any eye contact with Bray. His hands kept wringing together, the speed of his foot tapping getting faster. His shoulders were starting to twitch as well. He wanted to run. Wanted to hide. But he didn't try. He knew it was useless. Wherever he went, Bray would follow. He would find him. He always would.

"I don't know where the remote is darlin." Bray broke his gaze on Dean briefly to look over at the bedside desk. All he saw there was the lamp and the digital clock. "It might be up there." He pointed to the TV that sat a few feet in front of them. "Look up there for it."

Dean made no move to get up. His hand went to his shoulder instead, rubbing erratic circles to try to calm himself. Bray shook his head. TV didn't particularly interest him, so he didn't make a move to get up and turn it on for Dean.

"How's your head?"

Dean shrugged.

"How about your throat?"

"Why do you care?" Dean eyed Bray distrustfully. "You've done worse to me."

Fair point. Bray thought about apologizing. It was a foreign idea to him; he couldn't even remember one instance in his life that he had apologized for anything he had done. He wasn't one to lie, so he had just never said it. But he almost said it now. He took the breath, the words sitting on the tip of his tongue. But they didn't come out. What would be the point? Dean wouldn't believe him. He didn't even know if he was really sorry or not. The feeling was too foreign for him to understand or truly recognize. "You know, I'm trying to be nice here," he finally said. "Do you want me to be a monster?" He moved around, staying seated on the bed with his feet on the floor. He braced his hands against the mattress, ready to pop the rest of the way up quickly. "Do you want me to hurt you so you can go running back to your boys and have something to tell them besides your latest dirty secret?"

Dean flinched. The mere thought of telling Roman and Seth what had happened the night before scared the shit out of him. Bray could see it clear as day. It was doubtful he would even tell them. He'd bottle it up, wallowing in his guilt and torment and driving himself mad. Such a ridiculous way to live life, but that was Dean's style.

"You didn't answer me little lamb." Bray got up now, slowly moving closer to Dean. Dean shrank back in his chair, his twitching turning into shaking with every step Bray took. Bray observed that bit quietly, more focused on getting the answer to his question than calling him out on being scared. "Do you really want me to play the villain to your victim?" He reached out, grabbing a handful of curly blonde locks and yanking back roughly. Dean yelped, his eyes watering in pain. "Is that really what you want?"

"Let go." Dean struggled to pull himself free. "Let go of me."

Bray let him go, but didn't back off. He dropped down to his knees, leaning forward so his face was just inches from Dean's. "Something's gotta give little lamb." He tapped two fingers against the side of his head. "These mixed signals keep messing with my head. You need me but then you say you hate me. You shot me but then can't finish the job when I give you a second chance. You let me in only to just push me away all over again." He tapped his fingers against his head again. "My head is feeling rather messed with."

"Your head?" Dean swallowed nervously and shook his head in disbelief. "You're the master manipulator but I'm messing with your head?" He let out a choked noise that was supposed to be a laugh. "Fucking shit Bray." He rubbed at his shoulder, slipping his hand through the collar of his shirt so he could dig his nails into his skin.

"Stop that." Bray grabbed Dean's wrist and pulled his hand away. "You'll take your skin off." He let go of Dean's wrist after a moment, only to have to grab it once more as Dean tried to just claw at himself again. "What did I just say?"

"Fuck you." Dean yanked himself free and stood up. He staggered away from Bray, tripping over his own feet and nearly hitting the floor before he managed to catch himself. "I can't do this. I can't fucking do this." He shook his head, his hand going up to rub across his chest along with his shoulder now. "I can't do it. I can't I can't I can't."

"Little lamb..."

"No!" Dean leaped back as if he had been lunged at. "Just stop. Just fucking stop." His voice cracked, just like he was cracking as a whole. "I can't fucking do this." He shook his head, words spilling out of him faster now. "I can't go in this circle. I can't have you breaking me apart and playing with what's left." His hand rubbed more over his heart now. "There's nothing I can give you. Or them. There's nothing. Just a shell." He slapped at his chest now, wincing because he hit himself so hard. "Just a fucking, fucking shell." He gripped at the front of his shirt, holding on as if he would float away from himself if he didn't have something to ground him. "I hate this. I hate what I am. I hate what you've done to me. I hate what they've all done to me." He swallowed hard and moved his hands up to his hair, nearly ripping some right out of his head. "I hate that they didn't want me until you sank your claws in."

Bray raised his eyebrows. The they was shifting to Seth and Roman, which was something he found very interesting.

"I hate that I don't deserve them." Dean's voice wavered even more now. "I hate that I can't feel like I do. I hate that I put them in danger just by fucking existing. I hate that after everything they've done for me, I still was weak and let you...just fuuuuck!" He started slamming a fist into the side of his head. "I can't do this anymore. I can't. I can't I can't I can't."

"Little lamb calm down." Bray closed the distance between them and grabbed Dean by the wrists. Dean tried to pull away but Bray held on tight. He could practically feel the desperation rolling off Dean in waves. He was so lost. He was just so lost and didn't know how to get out. He wanted to be loved. He wanted to be saved. The problem was that he didn't know how to stop hating himself long enough to maintain the feeling that he deserved either of those things. Seth and Roman's love wasn't the magic wand that would just fix everything. But fixing Dean in the way they wanted to fix him would be no easy task. It most likely would not even be possible. Dean was too dark for what they wanted. Too stained by what life had given him. Bray knew he had contributed to it, but even if he had never entered the picture, Dean wouldn't have been able to fit in with what they wanted. That was why Seth and Roman had turned more to each other in the first place. They fit together. Pieces of light that could shine more brightly when they stood side by side. Dean was the shadow. The needy, desperate shadow who was shaking in his hands. Bray tightened his grip, determined not to let him go. "Let me fix you." Bray pulled Dean completely against him, his lips going to Dean's ear. "You know they can't save you."

Dean stiffened before shaking his head. "You can't either." His voice was so quiet that Bray almost didn't even hear him. "You don't want to." His eyes darted around, refusing to make contact with Bray's. "I'm not completely stupid." He bit down on his lower lip. "I'm close to it I know. But I'm not blind. I know what you are and what you want. I know what you'll do." He tried to pull out of Bray's grasp. "If I don't give in, you'll burn down everything around me to get to me. And if I give in, you'll burn down everything around me so I have nothing but you. So what the hell am I supposed to do here?"

Bray shrugged. "You know my answer to that one."

Dean didn't say anything. He didn't have to. He knew Bray's answer, just like Bray had said. He tried to pull away again, but Bray still held on. He didn't want him to go anywhere. Instead he pulled him back in, crashing their lips together. Dean wasn't the only one with a war to rage in his head. Bray himself was torn on what to do. Part of him screamed at him to take Dean. Take what he wanted. It screamed that Dean was his anyway. Even if others pretended otherwise, Dean was his. But another part was trying to shine through. Going too far was just going to alienate Dean from him. Maybe it wouldn't be right away, but it would happen like it did before. He had to make Dean want him, just like he had the night before. That was why he had backed off in the car. Dean had freaked and he had stopped. Wasn't that good? That was the sort of thing Dean wanted, wasn't it? But would any of those efforts matter? Dean was too mixed up for even him to read on that front. Even now his signals were mixed. Lips moved with his one moment, his hands pulling them together. The next second he was trying to push him away, his head squirming to break the kiss.

Bray pushed him to the wall, not letting their lips break contact. His hands moved off of Dean's wrists and down to his body instead, one sliding up his shirt to touch his heated skin while the other slid down in front of his jeans. He rubbed through the denim roughly, making Dean shudder and moan underneath him. His lungs burned for breath, but he was reluctant to give in. He finally had to though. He forced himself to tear his lips away, taking several deep breaths before moving his mouth over Dean's neck. He scraped his teeth against his skin, taking great delight in the whimpers he got for his efforts.

"Stop," Dean managed to say. The palms of his hands pushed against Bray's shoulders. The force he used wasn't nearly enough to actually get Bray away though. "We can't..."

"We can." Instinct was taking over. Bray rubbed at Dean's crotch harder, spurred on by how his body was responding. "Look at you. You still want me. I know you do."

Dean shook his head. "No." He pushed at Bray hader. "No no no no."

Bray growled and bit down on Dean's neck. He should stop, but he didn't want to stop. Dean's body screamed for more but his words said otherwise. He was lying somewhere in this twisted path, but Bray couldn't tell which part was doing it. Was it his brain and mouth, which were so steadfastly stuck in denial? Or was his body simply betraying him? Better yet, which did he really want to listen to?

If he didn't give Dean a reason to paint him as a monster anymore, Dean would be more likely to give in to him again.

But if he didn't have Dean now, he might not get the chance again.

_ Unless...unless there's no other options for him._

The idea struck him so hard he froze. It wasn't a full fledged thought out plan yet. But in his heart, he understood what he had to do. Maybe it was "wrong" in every sense of the word, but it could get him what he wanted. And if he did it right, the blame wouldn't be able to go on him.

He stepped back, catching Dean by surprise yet again. It took every ounce of will in his body to do it, but he had to. Dean didn't trust him yet. He had to work on that. "Go."

Dean stared at him, eyes wide and confused. "What?"

"Go. Run." He pointed to the door. "Isn't that what you want little lamb?"

Dean stared at him warily. Very slowly he started to edge for the door. He watched Bray like a hawk, expecting him to lunge at him and pull him back. When he didn't he broke out into a run, not even shutting the hotel room door behind him. Bray watched him go, his heart and body aching. He forced that pain out of his mind though. He couldn't dwell on it. It would be gone for good soon enough.

Just like Seth and Roman would be.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing and everything so far. I do try to get this updated in a timely manner, but with getting more hours that I've desperately needed at work, once a week for any on-going story is about what I can do update wise unless I get a really good train of writing going somewhere.

* * *

"You know, I think we might have to call it a night."

Jey responded to Jimmy's suggestion with a glare. They had been spending the past several hours looking for Dean. It was a search that had gotten them nowhere. They had absolutely no idea where Bray could have taken Dean. But Jey couldn't let them give up. They couldn't just sit back and actively let Bray get away with this. They had to fight the fight that Seth and Roman weren't there to fight themselves. Dean was their family at this point, just like Roman and Seth. They couldn't give up on family. Not now. Not ever.

Jimmy sighed. He knew what Jey was thinking and feeling. They always knew that kind of stuff about each other. "We're chasing ghosts out here man. I'm not saying we give up completely. But we're getting nowhere. We need to start fresh."

It wasn't that he didn't have a point. He actually did. But it wasn't really something Jey wanted to acknowledge right. In his mind, stopping at all meant letting Bray win. Stopping meant that all the work Roman and Seth and Dr. Walsh had done to help Dean would turn out to be all in vain.

_ Because you know I'm all about that bass, bout that bass, no treble. I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble..._

Jimmy snorted as Jey's ringtone filled the car. "Really man?"

"Shut up." Jey cringed sheepishly as he quickly pressed the button to answer the call. He didn't even look at the number flashing on his screen in his embarrassment. "Hello?"

"Jey?"

Jey's eyes widened. "Dean?" He looked to Jimmy, who looked as shocked as he did. "Dean holy shit. Where are you? Are you alright?"

"I...can you guys get me?"

"What's he saying?" Jimmy asked at the same time. "What happened?"

Jey put a hand up to silence his brother. He could answer his questions after Dean answered his own. "We'll get you. But we got to know where you are."  
"I'm...I'm in a Kwik Shop in Asheville. The one right next to the Pizza Hut." Dean's voice was shaky and so totally terrified. It unsettled Jey to his very core. "I...I don't know how long I got. I don't know if he'll change his mind."

"Change his mind?" Jey looked to Jimmy and quickly mouthed the word "Asheville" so he would know which direction to start going in. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"He let me go. Told me to run."

"Seriously? He just let you go? Is that...that's a good thing right?"

Dean took a long time to answer that question. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I don't trust it. I know him too well. He's planning something."

That wasn't a comforting statement. But Jey supposed that when it came to a man like Bray Wyatt, there wasn't really going to be any comfort found anywhere. "If you see him before we get there, you run. Keep the phone you got on you and use that to get ahold of us if you gotta move."

"I don't think the guy I took this from is going to like that."

"I don't give a shit. Kick his fucking ass if you have to. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Give me that." Jimmy snatched the phone right out of Jey's hand. "Yo. Call Seth and Roman so they know you're okay. They're going fucking nuts at home."

Jey couldn't hear what Dean said in return, but it must have satisfied Jimmy. "We'll be there as soon as we can, alright uce?" Jimmy's foot pressed on the gas harder. It was extremely late so they didn't have much in the way of traffic to worry about. "Just sit tight unless that asshole tries to get you again. Then you run like fuck." He waited for a moment before nodding. "Good. Call Seth and Roman and tell them we're getting you." He hung up the phone and pressed on the gas harder. "Fuck man."

"At least we know where he is," Jey said.

"Unless Bray wants to get him back." Jimmy tightened his grip on the wheel. "Why would Bray let him go to begin with?"

Jey shrugged. He didn't know. He didn't want to know. He just wanted to get to Dean so they could get him home in one piece. That was all he was worried about.

* * *

The night felt like it would never end. Dean stayed hidden in the back of the Kwik Shop, calling Roman and Seth like Jimmy had told him to. There wasn't much to the conversation besides reassuring them a thousand times that he was okay and somewhere safe. The latter wasn't a lie at least. Not yet anyway. The former though? That was such a lie. He wasn't okay. He wasn't okay at all. He knew Bray had to be planning something. With how utterly obsessed Bray was with him, there was no he would really just let him go. There was a game going on here. There had to be. He didn't want to know what it was though. He was so fucking sick and scared and he just couldn't handle it. It was too much. This was all too much. He wanted to just curl up in himself and not come back out. But he couldn't. What would be the point? Bray would probably come in and find him there too. There was no escape. Death didn't even sound like an actual escape anymore. Bray would probably just kill himself so he could follow Dean to hell. It was a terrifying thought, but that was the only fate that Dean could see. That was how far deep this was. There was no going back. Bray would never get over him. This love would kill one or both of them and Bray was clearly fine with that. That was the way he wanted it to be. As for Dean...well it clearly didn't matter what he wanted. It never had. It never would.

At some point he slumped down on the floor, his back pressed against the wall. It didn't dawn on him that he passed out until he felt hands shaking him awake. He yelped and tried to just swing, his eyes opening but not actually seeing who was there with him.

"Hey hey hey!" Jey's voice cut through his panic fueled daze. "It's us. It's us man!"

Dean blinked. His bearings slowly came back to him. Jimmy and Jey were kneeling in front of him while the store clerk stared at them from across the store. "Fuck." He rubbed his eyes and pushed himself up to his feet. "Fuck my neck hurts."

"He said you were out for awhile." Jimmy pointed back to the clerk as he spoke. "I think you freaked him out, He didn't want to like make you move or anything."

With how stiff his neck was, Dean wasn't entirely grateful that he had been left alone. He didn't really want to bother saying anything though. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be back with Seth and Roman. He needed to throw himself back into being what they wanted him to be. He wanted to forget that he had given into Bray and got himself deeper into this mess.

Going home wasn't an immediate option though. There was no way they would make it back to Raleigh in time for their flight. Jimmy checked them into a hotel instead, saying they would book a different flight back to Florida after they got some sleep. Dean's heart sank. He didn't want to stay. Staying put would leave him alone in his thoughts and that was just too dangerous. But he couldn't fight them on the matter. They were exhausted, passing out after barricading the door and putting a trap in the window that would wake them up if Bray decided to slither in. Dean laid on the other bed, mentally and emotionally exhausted but unable to sleep. He didn't know what to do with himself. He felt trap. Both life and death were a cage. It was something that scared him to his very core. Part of him wanted to call Seth and Roman again. Confess everything that had been done and said with Bray over the past two nights. But fear wouldn't let him pick up the phone. He couldn't tell them what he let happen. They'd hate him for it. It was a stupid, paranoid thought, but he couldn't drive it out. How could they not hate him? He had made them believe that he wanted to be better. That he wanted to drive Bray out. And while it was still true, his actions made him look like a liar.

Dean rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom. He shut the door behind him, completely forgetting to lock it behind him. He didn't dare let his eyes meet his reflection in the mirror. He just gripped the edge of the sink and tried to take deep breaths. He wanted his mind to be clear. He didn't want to examine what he felt towards Bray. It was too fucking complicated to really wrap his head around. He hated him for all the things he had done. He hated him for hurting Seth and Roman. He hated for breaking down the walls he had spent a lifetime putting up to protect himself. He hated him for fucking everything but for all that hatred, for all the knowing better, there was still a part of him that was drawn to him. It craved the subjugation. It craved the fire that came with Bray's touch. It craved the certainty that no matter what happened, Bray wouldn't ever get rid of him.

He squeezed his eyes shut to try to stop the tears from forming. He loved Seth and Roman. He loved them so fucking much. And he knew they loved him. But what if it didn't stay that way? What if they pushed him away again? He wasn't an easy person to love. He knew that. For now they accepted it and did it anyway. But what if it didn't last? The question hurt his heart, but he couldn't help but wonder.

He smacked both of his hands on either side of his head. He had to stop thinking like this. He couldn't do this. He had to think better. He didn't want these bad thoughts in his head. These were killing him. He had to get them out. Oh god he needed them out.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK SMACK SMACK!

"Dean!"

Jey's voice made Dean jump. He tried to jerk away as the younger Uso grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands away from his head. Dean whimpered and tried to pull back harder.

"Come on man." Jey shook his head and tightened his grip. "Stop. You gotta stop."

He couldn't stop. That was the problem. Dean couldn't ever stop. His mind was always going these days, a whirlwind of paranoia, self hatred and just plain torment. He tried to jerk away from Jey again but Jey refused to let go. He pulled him in instead, wrapping both arms around Dean's body and not letting him go anywhere. Dean finally just gave up and buried his face in the fabric of Jey's shirt. He bit his tongue to muffle any sobs and squeezed his eyes shut more tightly, still fighting tears that wanted to escape. He wasn't anywhere near as successful as he thought he was, but Jey didn't give him any shit. He just held on tight and refused to let go.

* * *

Seth turned off the water to the shower but didn't immediately step out. Instead he stood there, watching the drops of water slowly roll down his body. The steam in the room made it hard to breathe but he liked it that way. The hot water had felt good on him. It kept him distracted from his concern. Jey had called about a half hour ago and said that they couldn't get a flight to Tampa until about six that evening. That hadn't been the news Seth wanted to hear, but given that it took them so long to track down Dean, it didn't surprise him. He asked if Dean was okay at least. Jey had gone quiet, finally saying that physically he was. The rest would need to be talked about when they got there. Seth hadn't liked the sound of that. That meant Bray had surely mind fucked him again and it was up to them to unravel the damage.

He sighed and got out of the shower. He felt so exhausted. This constant war with Bray over Dean was just killing them. Bray was too stubborn to let go. It made winning really impossible. Seth wished the bastard had died the night Dean shot him. He really did. Hell, he was willing to finish the job himself if he could just get half a chance. He didn't even need a full one. Just a sliver of one and the bastard would be going to hell where he belonged.

He grabbed the towel off the rack and dried himself off. His dirty clothes sat in a pile on the floor while his clean ones were on the back of the toilet. He quick through the dirty ones in the laundry hamper he had been too lazy to open before and then got dressed. In the worried daze he had been in before the shower, the only clothes of his he had grabbed had been his boxers. He had one of Roman's plain black t-shirts and a pair of Dean's ripped up jeans. He frowned as he looked down at himself but then just shrugged it off. Whatever. They were comfortable. He left the bathroom and headed down the hall. He didn't hear the TV Roman had going when he had gotten into the shower. It made him frown. Roman had been saying something about wanting to try to take his walker and go around the yard with Kevin. Seth had protested, fearful of Roman pushing himself too hard and fucking himself up more. He knew Roman resented his condition, but he had to be careful. It was hard but he just had to learn to understand that.

"Ro?" he called out as he went down the stairs. "Do you want to pick up some pizza before we go get Dean? We can pick him up whatever he wants on the way back from the airport?"

No answer. Seth's worry increased. Neither Roman or Kevin were in the living room. "Roman Joseph Reigns!" Seth growled and headed to the kitchen. "I swear if you went outside I-" His voice died in his throat as he reached the open doorway to the kitchen. The back door was wide open and there stood Harper and Rowan. Rowan was clutching the struggling Kevin to his chest, determinedly petting him despite being bit repeatedly. Harper stood above Roman, who had his hands tied behind his back and was laying face down on the kitchen floor. There was a hammer in one hand and a gun pointed at the back of Roman's head with the other.

"The bullet will be in his head before you even get to me," Harper informed him. Even through his thick beard Seth could see his crazed grin. "Get down on your knees Rollins. Now."

Seth's body screamed for action. To get to Harper and wrap his hands around his throat. But he couldn't. Even he wasn't that fast. He dropped down to his knees, his body shaking in rage.

"Erick. Tie him up."

Rowan reluctantly put down Kevin and grabbed the rope they had brought with them. Harper kept the gun pointed right on Roman so Seth wouldn't fight as he was tied up and then gagged with an old rag Rowan got from his pocket. Kevin barked and bit at Rowan the whole time, trying to get him away from Seth. Seth watched as Harper's eyes settled in on the Yorkie, the gun suddenly itching to come up and point at it instead.

"Close your eyes and put your hands over your ears."

Harper's orders made Seth let out a muffled scream and Rowan's head snap up. Rowan looked down at the dog and then up at Harper. He shook his head.

"Do it," Harper ordered more sharply

Rowan shook his head again. "I like dog." He reached down and picked up Kevin by the scruff of the neck. "My dog."

Harper scowled. "It ain't your damn dog boy. Put it down."

The stare off lasted forever. Seth's heart hammered inside his chest, his head shaking desperately as Kevin kept struggling and biting against Rowan's grip.

"We hurt them," Rowan growled. He pointed to Seth and Roman. "You leave the dog alone Luke."

"Oh for fuck's sakes..." Harper finally threw his hand up in exasperation. "Fine. Leave the dog here at least. I'm not dragging it around with us."

The lamb mask guarded Rowan's expression. He slowly put Kevin down and threw Seth over his shoulders instead. Seth struggled again him, trying to make some sort of call to Roman even though he knew it was useless. Roman was unconscious on top of being practically helpless anyway.

"Leave the mask," Harper ordered. "The rat needs to know we've been here."

Seth's eyes widened. Dean. Oh god. Had Bray ordered Harper and Rowan to come here? Had he told them to get him and Roman out of the way so he could do something to Dean again? No. He couldn't let that happen. He struggled hard, managing to slip off of Rowan. He managed to spin on his heels and lunge at Harper. He didn't even get to touch him. Harper swung the hand holding the gun and smashed the butt of it into the side of Seth's skull. The pain spread through his head and somehow reverberated through his whole body. He felt himself fall and everything went black as he hit the floor.


	17. Chapter 17

Something felt off the moment Dean's house came into view. Bray could feel it in his gut. He couldn't immediately identify what it was though. He circled the place several times, getting bolder and more careless each time in an effort to draw either Seth or Roman out. Nothing. Their car was in the driveway and considering the state of Roman, they weren't going to be out for a walk. They had to be home. But what was this feeling he was having? It wasn't really apprehension. He could care less about either man. But it was just...weird. It felt like he had just missed something. He couldn't explain why he had that feeling, but he didn't question it. He knew better than to doubt his instincts.

Bray took a glance around to make sure he wasn't being watched before creeping around to the back door. He put his hand on the knob and waited just a moment before giving it a slow turn. It wasn't even locked. So not like Seth and Roman. Not after everything that had happened. He pushed it open and stepped inside. The feeling that something had happened grew even stronger. He shut the door behind him and looked around. The kitchen was completely empty. The little rat of a dog came running and skidded to a halt that separated the kitchen from the living room. Its entire body shook as it barked furiously. Bray supposed the little thing was trying to scare him away. It wasn't remotely working, but the effort was mildly amusing. What got Bray though was Seth not running to check on his little dog. From previous watching he knew damn well Seth was overly attached to the damn mutt. Him not coming to see what was wrong wasn't right.

Bray stepped over the dog as it bit his heels and went to the living room. There was no sign of anyone there either. He frowned and kept walking through the house. The first floor was devoid of any clues. It wasn't until he went upstairs and went to the master bedroom that he found one. Rowan's sheep mask sat right in the middle of the bed. Bray's eyes widened. His boys had been there. They had taken Seth and Roman. That was...troubling. He wanted Seth and Roman out of the way sure. And if they did something, it could keep his hands clean and technically innocent. But the problem was, he currently had no control of what they were planning. And that was bad. He had come to get rid of Seth and Roman for good, but he had planned to make it look like an accident. A fire from some falty wiring that they just couldn't get away from in time. He needed them gone but couldn't have Dean thinking he did it or orchestrated it. Whatever Harper nd Rowan were thinking of doing, they wouldn't take those same measures. Dean would know. And Dean would think he made them do it. He couldn't have that.

Bray grabbed the lamb mask off the bed and left the house as quietly as he had came in. His mind scrambled to think of where Harper and Rowan could have gone. It was doubtful they would be on the way back to the new compound. If something went wrong Harper wouldn't want to compromise the family. It was also doubtful that they would be on the way back to the old compound as well. They had moved out of there because it had been compromised. Besides from that, both places were awfully far from here. Harper would go somewhere closer. Somewhere he knew. Somewhere he could control.

Bray stopped mid-step as the answer dawned on him. Harper had spent time in a foster home about fifty miles away. It was just outside of the nearby town and had been abandoned since the foster father had shot the foster mother and then hung himself. It would be the perfect spot to go and do...well whatever it was they were planning on doing.

His feet started moving again, the pace quicker than before. Bray slipped back into the car and fired the engine up. He didn't know how much of a head start Haper and Rowan really had on him. He couldn't waste time thinking about it. He just had to try to get to them before they did something that made his life more complicated than it really needed to be.

* * *

Roman grunted as he tried to undo the ropes that bound his hands behind his back. He had no idea where he and Seth were. It was a basement and that was about what he knew. His head throbbed horribly from the two times he had been struck unconscious. The first time had been back at the house. He had been trying to take Kevin outside when Harper and Rowan surprised him at the back door. His useless legs had made jumping out of the way impossible. Rowan and Harper had crashed right into them, the two of them subduing him and knocking him out with something. He had tried to fight them off. He really had. But he had failed, just like he failed during the car ride to wherever here was. He had woken up tied up with an unconscious Seth on top of him. He had tried to figure out a way of this when Harper had ordered Rowan to reach back and knock him out again. Now they were here and he was absolutely terrified. Seth still wasn't awake. He was breathing; Roman could see the steady rise and fall of his chest. But judging from the dried blood on the side of his head, Rowan and Harper had roughed him up pretty bad. Roman felt fucking horrible for it. He hadn't been able to stop it. He hadn't been able to stop any of this. And he wouldn't be able to. He was useless. Helpless. He had been trying so hard to recover but he just wasn't there yet. Not when he needed to be. He had failed Seth and god only knew how soon it would be until he failed Dean too.

He struggled harder against the ropes. He couldn't let himself think like that. He had to be strong. That was what he did. He stayed strong for his boys. He couldn't let himself give in to his panic. There had to be something he could do. A way to slip out of these ropes. A way to crawl out of this room and get to a phone before Harper and Rowan could stop him. He could call for help. Get the police. He didn't know where they were but there had to be a way for them to track the call. He would just have to buy them time.

"Seth!" Roman kept his voice down as low as possible as he spoke. He made himself sit up as he looked at his still unconscious boyfriend. "Seth wake up! Wake up baby please." He could keep it together if Seth would just wake up. Seth could distract him from his fear and panic. But Seth wasn't fucking waking up. He was still out like a light and Roman could feel hysteria taking over. "Baby please wake up. Wake up! Wake up. You got to wake up for me."

Nothing. Seth was still out like a light. Roman groaned. Shit. He needed to just pull himself together. He took a deep breath and tried to make his eyes adjust to the dark. There wasn't a useable window to be found. The one he could see was all boarded up. A set of stairs were nearby. Roman assumed they led to the door. Where Rowan or Harper were was still a mystery. Were they right outside the door? Were they somewhere else? Was this some backwoods place where there wouldn't be help for miles around?

Only one way to find out. Roman forced himself to roll around. He had to find something sharp down here. There was no way to slip out of the ropes so he had to find a way to cut them off instead. He just wished it wasn't so dark. The lone light bulb that hung above them was weak and flickering. There had to be something he could stumble upon in here though. He just had to keep looking.

Roman was still rolling around and trying to search for a way free when he heard the door open. His heart jumped in his chest as he listened to the heavy footsteps on the stairs. He made himself move, managing to scoot himself back to Seth just as Harper came into sight. The bastard had something clutched in his hand, but Roman couldn't tell what it was yet. "Where the fuck are we?" Roman wasted no time in asking. He still struggled against his ropes, but he tried to make it less obvious. He didn't need Harper tightening his restraints or changing them so he couldn't move at all. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Harper didn't immediately answer him. He just stared at him with his crazed, wide eyed stare. Roman refused to flinch at his gaze or even when he stepped closer. He tried his best to hover over Seth to protect him as much as possible. His actions only seemed to amuse Harper. He uncurled his hand, letting Roman see his own smart phone in his massive hand.

"It's locked," Harper grunted. "What's the password?"

"The fuck you need that for?" Roman hoped he was masking any fear he was feeling. He couldn't let that weakness show. Not for a single second.

"I'm calling the rat." Harper clearly didn't see a reason to keep any of his motives a secret now. Why would he? He had Roman and Seth completely at his mercy. "He's going to join us."

"The fuck he is." Roman didn't need to ask who the rat was. He just knew he meant Dean. "You leave him the fuck alone."

Harper's eyes narrowed. "What's the password Reigns?"

"Fuck off."

Harper didn't ask again. His foot shot out, nailing Roman directly in the face. Roman's entire head rocked back from the blow. He felt the bones in his nose break and blood gushed everywhere. His vision faded to black, but came right back when he felt Seth being ripped away. "No!"

Harper continued to drag Seth back by the hair. His actions woke the smaller man at last. Seth screamed from both pain and surprise. He kicked his feet wildly but it didn't stop Harper. Harper merely pocketed Roman's phone and sat Seth up for Roman to see more clearly.

"Don't!" Roman spat out a mouthful of blood as he spoke. "Don't you fucking dare!"

Harper didn't say a word. He reached into the same pocket he put the phone and pulled out a knife. Without any sort of hesitation, he drove the blade into Seth's shoulder. The scream that came from Seth made Roman's blood curl. He tried to stand up and rush Harper. Adrenaline got him to his feet, but didn't carry him far. His legs gave out and he collapsed even as Harper twisted the knife deeper. Seth screamed again while desperately thrashing his body.

"The password," Harper growled. He held Seth fast against him, his eyes zeroed in on Roman. "I'll fucking skin him alive." He yanked the knife out of Seth's shoulder before dragging the blade across Seth's chest. Seth screamed again. His blood drenched Harper's hand and Roman felt his stomach turn in revulsion. "You don't think I'm bluffing do you?"

No. Roman didn't think that at all. But he didn't know what to do. He couldn't give up Dean. But he couldn't let Seth be hurt. There was no choice that he could make that was really right. One of his boys would suffer no matter what.

Harper moved the knife up and pointed the tip towards Seth's eye. "The password Reigns. Or I cut it out and shove it down his throat."

Seth went deathly still. He stared right at Roman, making him feel even worse. He was silently begging for Roman to do something. Roman swallowed hard. He didn't want to do this. This was wrong. But he couldn't let this happen to Seth. He had to pray Dean wouldn't come and just send the police in his place. "One one two eight." He couldn't look at Harper as he said it. It made him too sick to his stomach.

Harper laughed. "Good boy." He threw Seth back down and headed for the stairs. Roman and Seth watched him go up them, not moving until the door slammed shut behind him. "Fuck." Roman swallowed hard and looked at Seth. "Fuck fuck fuck!" He struggled harder to get out of his ropes. Seth was bleeding all over from his shoulder. "Baby I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Oh god..." Seth whimpered and just laid there. He didn't even try to get out of his own restraints. "He'll kill us." He looked at Roman fearfully. "He'll kill us and he'll kill Dean."

Roman didn't want to think about that. Instead he just maneuvered himself so he was laying on Seth's shoulder. Seth yelped and Roman gave him an apologetic look. It was the only way he had to put pressure on the wound. "Dean's got Jimmy and Jey with him. They'll get him to call the cops instead of coming himself."

Seth gave Roman a look of disbelief. "Or Luke will say he'll kill us if he does that and he'll come running by himself." He groaned as Roman put more pressure on the wound. "He'll fall for it. Dean won't trust the cops. They failed every other time. No way he'll call them."

Fuck. Seth had a point. It was a point Roman didn't want to think about right now. He had to just hope that Dean didn't do anything stupid and that he and Seth could maybe figure a way out before Dean potentially even got there.

* * *

Seth and Roman were gone. Just completely gone. Dean started to freak out at the airport when they weren't there to pick them up. He, Jimmy and Jey finally had to take a taxi to his place, which offered no answers except for the car still being there and Kevin going absolutely nuts. Dean's panic rose to a completely unmanageable level. Something had happened to them. It had to have. They wouldn't just disappear and not answer their phones. No way. Something had fucking happened and he didn't know what. It had to be Bray though. This had been the trick. He had let Dean go to think he was safe and had snatched up Roman and Seth instead. Why hadn't he seen it coming? How could he have thought he would really be allowed to be free? Hadn't he learned anything in all this? No matter what he did, either he got hurt or Seth and Roman did. He should have just stayed with Bray. He should have let Bray keep him. Seth and Roman would have at least been safe. It would have been a sacrifice they deserved considering all they had done for him.

"Where the fuck could Wyatt have taken them?" Jimmy and Jey were in the living room talking. They didn't know Dean was at the stairs listening to every word. Jey was the one currently speaking. "Fucking seriously."

"I don't know," Jimmy replied. "I want to know how he'd even get both of them. They would have had their guard up after last time."

"Harper and Rowan probably helped. They were with him yesterday. They had to have been in on this whole thing."

Dean shivered. He had forgotten about Harper and Rowan. He sank down on the steps and pulled his knees up to his chest. All he could picture now was all three Wyatts attacking Roman and Seth at once. The mere thought sent a new wave of panic through him. His chest tightened and his hands started to shake. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't fucking breathe. Roman and Seth were out there somewhere hurt because of him. It was his fault. All his fault.

His stomach turned and he couldn't even get his legs working to run to the bathroom. He just barely turned his head to throw up on the spot of the stairs next to him. What little Jey had managed to get him to eat came right back up, burning the back of his throat in the process. Getting it out wasn't helping. His stomach kept turning horribly. He couldn't breathe. His entire body was shaking now. He couldn't make himself stop. He couldn't make anything stop. Everything was spiraling out of control and  
he couldn't fucking regain any resemblance of control.

"Dean?" Jey's voice made it through the haze he had fallen into. Jey, who kept stubbornly acting as a newly sprung anchor for Dean in all of this. Dean didn't know why he spent more effort than Jimmy in giving a shit and he couldn't really dwell on it now. His mind was racing too much. He felt Jey grab him and he heard his orders to breathe. He even started trying to show Dean how he should breathe. Jimmy stood nearby, just watching. His staring wasn't fucking helping anything. Meanwhile Kevin started  
jumping at him, desperately trying to lick his face.

"Come on Dean." Jey was still talking. "We'll find them alright? We'll find them and get them home. But you got to come back and help us. You know Wyatt and his boys. You need to help us help Seth and Roman. Can you do that?"

Dean didn't know how but he found himself nodding. He follow Jey's deep breaths, nearing a state of being calmed down when his phone rang. His hands felt clumsy as he pulled it out of his pocket. For a moment his heart soared. Roman's number was on the screen. He immediately answered it, nearly ready to cry in relief. "Ro?"

The laughter on the other end sent all hope crashing out of him. "Not quite."

Harper. fucking Harper. Dean's face fell and Jey and Jimmy looked worried. "Where's Roman? Where's Seth? What did Bray do to them?"

"Bray? No no no no. Bray doesn't have a thing to do with this. This is me you're dealing with."

"Then what do YOU want?" Dean gripped his hair with his free hand. "Why are you doing this?"

"What I want is for you to come here. Alone. No police. No Usos. Nothing. You come to where I tell you and you come alone."

"Why?"

"Why? You want to know why? You should know why!"

"Well I don't!"

Harper groaned. "You took him from us. Poisoned him. So I now I took from you. And if you want to see them again, you'll come here alone, like I said. If the police come, I'll kill them before they even get me in cuffs. If the Usos come then I will string them up from the tree out back and give Roman their heads as an early Christmas present."

Dean swallowed hard. "H-how do I know you really have them? How do I know they're not like dead and you're tricking me?"

"Hold on a second." Dean heard a door open followed by the sound of Harper going down some stairs. "Boys! Say hello to the rat!"

"Dean no!" Roman's voice made Dean's heart jump. "Stay away he's fucking nuts! He-no no no GET AWAY FROM-"

Roman was cut off by a loud smack. Seth's scream of pain followed suit. Dean screamed too, the phone falling from his hand as panic raced through him all over again. Jey grabbed the phone and put it on speaker so he and Jimmy could hear. They stayed quiet, seemingly sensing that Harper didn't need to hear that they were that close by at the moment.

"Ambrose!" Harper's voice was sharp. It cut through Dean's panic like a knife. "Do you understand what I said?"

Dean forgot himself and just nodded. The silence was taken as him ignoring the question and Harper made Seth scream again. "Yes!" Dean wanted to jump through the phone and put himself over Seth. Anything to make the screaming stop. "Yes yes please just stop! Leave him alone!"

"There's a house about a mile outside of Spring Hill. It's up on a hill. Come here. Come alone. If the police come your boys die. If the Usos come then they die."

"Dean he'll kill you!" Roman's voice rang through again. "Dean just don't do it! Don't-"

Another hard smack was heard and Roman was silenced again. "One hour," Luke growled. "You got an hour to get here before I cut his fucking tongue out." And with that, he ended the call, leaving Dean, Jimmy and Jey to scramble to the car.


End file.
